Night(mare)s Into Dreams

This how sad/pathetic/gay my subconscious is: last night I dreamt that I went into a charity shop and found a massive stack of mint condition Dreamcast games hidden in a corner. There were copies of Rez and Resident Evil 3 (?) as well as bizarre games in PAL boxes that I'm certain don't actually exist. I bought a shit-load of them and then got into a faded red bubble car, drove to a factory and then got locked in said factory by an old lady who wanted to see my security pass. That I'd conveniently misplaced earlier in the dream. But I digress. What I actually meant to tell you is that I've got a new game! Well, new-ish. I actually got it a few weeks ago - at roughly the same time that Imperial Star Destroyer towed the McLaren joypad across the galaxy and dropped it off in orbit over Sub-Saharan Africa.

Lock up your daughters, it's Jeremy McGrath Supercross 2000! Yeehaw!

Motorbikes! With big spiky tires and blokes called 'Chad' or 'Cory' riding them! RADI-FUCKING-CAL! Yes, Supercross 2000 is one of ill-fated Acclaim's final games and it's based on the real-life sport of rich Americans riding pimped-up scooters over mounds of mud, shit and human entrails. Other titles that have tried to emulate this intriguing past-time include Motocross Madness on the PC and Excitebike on the good old '64...but the similarities between those two games and Supercross 2000 begin and end with the subject matter.


You see, dear and appreciated reader, where Motocross Madness and Excitebike are the shining beacons at the very pinnacle of the motocross genre, Supercross 2000 surely represents the decimated basecamp that has been over-run by a shape-shifting alien that not even a beardy Kurt Russell can stop. A game of truly bargain-basecamp proportions (snigger!).


Now, lets not get too ahead of ourselves comrades: in time honoured fashion, I'll gladly slice open the bowel of this particular cadaver and spread the contents across your grandma's finest tablecloth in an attempt to sift through the shite and half-digested kebab and give you low-down on the features of the game:

  • Music by The Offspring (surely the most DC-featured band of all time?)
  • Clothing by No Fear
  • 16 Tracks (8 indoor, 8 outdoor)
  • 8 Riders
  • 125 and 250cc modes
  • Erm...
So, there's a fair bit to JMSC2000 then. Lots of options, a decent number of tracks, a track editor, rider creator, suitable soundtrack...surely it's a recipe for greatness? Yes. A great steaming turd, that is. Why? Well, just like in Roadsters it seems like the developers had a whole host of great ideas and had this brilliant game planned and then they forgot to code it properly. It looks like a PS1 game. The animation of the riders isn't actually in the game code (I'd imagine). The frame rate is worse than one of those Disney cartoons from 1903 (or whenever). Basically, it stinks like a dead sheep that's been used (for several summer months) as a sexual plaything by Sloth from Goonies. In fact, going back to the Atari Jaguar, Supercross 2000 kind of reminds me of this:



Now compare it to this:



There are some definite similarities if you ask me, and even though the Supercross 2000 video is of the N64 version, the DC one is identical in every way.

Not a great game, then - but still a damn sight better than that reverse bowel movement more commonly known as Ducati World. If you want two-wheeled action on your DC, your best bet is Suzuki Alstare/Redline Racer...and even the bike sections from Head Hunter are better. Still, imagine if Sega had released a port of Manx TT or a Hang On reboot. Now that's a dream worth having...

13 comments:

Hairyman said...

Why Manx TT didn't get a DC port is beyond me. It's easily one of the best suited games for the console. But then again, Sega decided against a Scud Race port aswell so they really must have been losing it at this point. I still need to give Alstare a go as I only hear great things (Retro Gamer mag named it one of the best racing games people have never heard of).

Tomleecee said...

Hey Hairyman - yeh, Alstare is a pretty decent game. The graphics are still quite impressive and the framerate is like silk. It gets a bit hard as you progress and the bikes get faster (ie twitchy), but it's a nice little game.

Hairyman said...

Cheers Tom. The only thing is, I keep reading that Alstare is a sequel to Redline but some people are saying Alstare is just an improved port of Redline. Can you confirm what's going on because if I'm gonna get one of these I want to have the best.

Tomleecee said...

Suzuki Alstare is the Western release of Redline Racer. It differs in that it has the official Suzuki license and has a different front end, championship and music. It also has new graphic al stuff like advertising boards added to the trackside etc. Basically, Alstare is Redline Racer but with a new lick of paint.

Hairyman / Sonic Yoda said...

Alstare it is then! It's bloody cheap to pick up aswell, looking forward to this.

The GagaMan(n) said...

I had both Suzuki Alstare and Redline racer at some point and not only does Suzuki have a new lick of paint, it plays considerably better too. Redline was rushed like crazy and was just plain wonky, though still not as wonky as Ducati World.

Caleb said...

I have had that dream before. At least the part about the thrift store selling a ton of Dreamcast Games. (I sort of knew that it wasn't real because the titles were all screwed up)

I have a beat up copy of the Suzuki game. It's amazing it actually plays!

Barry the Nomad said...

Hey buckos! I'm back from a week in the carribean! Great article of a shitty game.

Tomleecee said...

Hey Barry - welcome home!

The GagaMan(n) said...

Off topic, but about that racing game poll: Demolition Racer but no Rush 2049?

Tomleecee said...

Yeah, I was just fucking around. I didn't even think anyone would vote on it!

A Moomintroll said...

I'm back after a thunderstorm blew up my router. Mercifully all my consoles survived, and for a while my dreamcast was the only way of getting online at home.
I also have had that pathetic dream; you'd think our subconsciences would have better things to do.

The Golden Cat said...

I tend to dream about women but the principal's the same.