Dreamcastic Christmas 2023: Heart-warming Tales from DreamPod Listeners

Ahead of recording episode 125 of the DreamPod, which first aired as part of RadioSEGA’s illustrious Winterfest and is now available in all the regular places, we appealed to our listener base to send us their festive Dreamcast-related ideas, memories and musings. And thankfully, in generous Christmas spirit, our mailbag promptly filled-up with a hefty slab of responses ranging from the witty, to the heart-warming, to the downright impressive. Quite a few were discussed on the pod, but many are undoubtedly worth sharing on the blog too, and so here we are. 

Thanks to all the wonderful Junkard-ers (yardies?) who made submissions, tuned into the podcast or are currently reading these hungover scribblings of mine. The Junkyard wouldn't be what it is without you and we are blessed to have such a wonderful community gathered around the site eighteen years on from its founding. 

So, if you'd like to amplify your festive cheer, pour yourself a glass of Creamcast ale, and read on.

 Our guest on DreamPod 125, Pat from Sega Saturn, SHIRO!, lovingly embracing the Dreamcast that Santa brought him as a child.

Christmas Cracker Extravaganza

In typical parochial British fashion, I had assumed that Christmas Crackers were a widespread phenomenon, when in fact, it turns out they are pretty much contained to the shores of the UK. Nevertheless, we had some fantastic responses from all over the world to our call for Dreamcast-themed Christmas cracker ideas, several sent in by folks who had no prior familiarity with the concept (but evidently got with the programme quite rapidly).

Horror host extraordinaire Uncle Clutch knocked it out of the park, delivering a set of eight sublime watercolour paintings. Feast your eyes on their magnificence below, and, if you ever happen to meet the dude in person, be sure to buy him a drink (or three) on us.

Copyright Uncle Clutch, 2023. Not to be reproduced without permission of the creator.

Copyright Uncle Clutch, 2023. Not to be reproduced without permission of the creator.

Drum and Bass superstar Pizza Hotline delivered a detailed pitch for some garish Hello Kitty crackers: “A mixture of pink and blue semi-transparent non-recyclable plastic Hello Kitty crackers, like the consoles. There’s confetti inside that consists of mini plastic hello kitty faces and Dreamcast swirls which gets everywhere, sticks to your carpet and clothing, and no matter how much you brush or hoover it, it won’t come off. The prizes in the crackers are any of the capsule toys from Shenmue 1 or 2. You might get a poorly formed Sonic or Virtua Fighter character, or, better yet some dice or a mini forklift. It’s a Christmas miracle! When you pull each cracker, they don’t go BANG. Instead, they make the annoying VMU beeeep sound, and, instead of jokes you get awful one-liners from Shenmue. However, if you’re lucky you might get the odd inappropriate line from Blue Stinger’s Dogs Bower too. ‘Years ago I was Chinese’, ‘Try asking Chinese people about Chinese’, ‘Ugly like the worst sin’, or perhaps ‘Our jackets are too cool for that scum. I want guys like you to wear them’”. 

Of course, we assume that the emphasis on plastic-heavy construction is in fact a tongue-in-cheek throwback to the excesses of the late '90s and not something for David Attenborough to be worried about. 

The Hello Kitty Dreamcast has certainly become a bit of a style icon in recent years.

Bobby (purveyor of the magnificent Wandering Through Shenmue YouTube channel) provided an equally detailed pitch for some crackers that we would love to see on our tables – and gets top marks for including a bad joke: “I believe the cracker itself should be in the shape of a VMU. They could even come in different colours seeing as we had so many to pick from when the Dreamcast was originally released. To open it, you put your fingers where the finger grip traditionally is and pull the protective dust cap right off. In addition, the VMU screen will have traditional Sega images that are slightly altered. Sonic wearing a Christmas hat. Amy with mistletoe above her head. Nozomi wearing a scarf.

All of the hats will bear the traditional Dreamcast swirl logo. I suppose if the cracker is released in Great Britain the swirl will be blue, whereas if it's released in Japan or North America, it will be the traditional orange. But what's inside? How about some rubber erasers in the shape of different character heads from Sega franchises. One of them could have Skies of Arcadia characters. Another one would have Sonic characters of course. Maybe the other would have Virtua Fighter characters.”

And how about that bad cracker joke? Make sure you are seated for this one folks.

“Q: What do you tell your friend when the laser on your Dreamcast is having a hard time reading a disc because it's dirty?

A: It's thinking”

Ian Micheal has released a Christmas Collection for Dreamcast!

Cover by The Sega Guru

On the 23rd day of Christmas, Ian Micheal gave to the community... a Christmas collection for the Sega DC.

Ever since his work on the Sega Powered demo disc, homebrew extraordinaire Ian Micheal has really been experimenting with the idea of Dreamcast "collections" using the same UI. Around this time last year, he released the much anticipated (unofficial) Dreamcast version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Cowabunga Collection, which featured a wide range of old-school Turtles games, ROM hacks, cartoon episodes, music, and more, to peruse and enjoy on your Dreamcast. 

In October, Ian decided to put a seasonal twist on this concept with a Halloween collection, and now, in a similar vein, Ian has released a Christmas-themed collection for play on the Dreamcast, which he’s been teasing since the beginning of the month. There's so much packed onto it, I'm not even sure where to start...

He stares into your soul as he asks "have you been a good boy this year? HMM?!"

Let's start with the games. This collection is chock full of Christmas-themed games to play, from the Europe/Australia exclusive Mega Drive title Daze Before Christmas, to the Home Alone games, to Christmas ROM hacks of Sonic, Mario, Pokémon and even Wolfenstein 3D! There's nothing quite like a festive spin on old favourites to get you in the mood for the season. Just don't let Santa know we shot him in the Wolfenstein mod…

The longer you look…

But of course, the most important reason why you'd want to download and boot this collection up on your Dreamcast, is to hear Ian sing his own renditions of classic Christmas songs, such as Jingle Bells and Chris Rea's "Driving Home For Christmas", along with many others. This man really is multi-talented. Sadly, he didn't cover blink-182's "Happy Holidays, You Bastard" this time round, but let's hope he does that on a 2024 edition of this collection.

With interactive and musical delights covered, this collection wouldn't be complete without something to watch. How about the 1964 stop-motion classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Well here it is, on your Dreamcast. Sorted, mate.  

The ultimate Christmas question: are we listening to George Michael or Ian Micheal?

To play Ian's Christmas collection, head over to the Dreamcast-Talk forums to download the CDI. There's even a video to watch of Ian showcasing it. I definitely think this'll make an excellent addition to the Junkyard's usual Dreamcast-related Christmas traditions, which include Blue Stinger, the Sonic Adventure DLC and that one Toy Commander DreamOn demo where you zoom about as Santa on a jetpack.

Are you going to download this? Let us known in the comments below or via one of our many social media pages! Either way, we here at the Junkyard wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Christmas DreamPod - Audience Participation Sought by 30 November!

Update: submissions have now closed! You can hear the episode here.

I apologise off the bat for raising the spectre of Christmas when we are barely half way through November. I know some will be dismayed by the ever expanding time and space which this particular festival occupies - not least retail workers who are bracing for the onslaught of Mariah Carey and Slade songs on endless loop. If Christmas isn’t really your thing, for whatever reason, then that is cool by us. 

However, if you are partial to the festive spirit, and are willing to countenance prematurely dipping your toes into it, even if just for a moment, then please read on.

The Junkyard crew have been invited to partake in RadioSEGA's wonderful 'Winterfest'; a veritable marathon of Sega related audio productions which is due to take place in December. However, we've decided that we really can't be gabbing on about Christmas themed levels in Dreamcast games once again, despite how much we may adore them (except Mike, our resident Grinch, who we cherish nonetheless). Therefore, this year, we’re hoping to record an episode that is infused with a hearty dose of audience participation. 

To make our forthcoming Christmas DreamPod episode something special, we’d love to hear from you, the dear readers and listeners who make the Junkyard a worthwhile endeavour. So, pour a sherry, snaffle a mince pie from the secret stash, and send a message to dreamcastjunkyard (at) gmail dot com by Thursday the 30th of November that covers one (or all) of the following:

1. Cracker Competition: miniature nail clippers and those weird fortune telling fish are fine and dandy, but wouldn’t it be so much better if a VMU dropped out of your Christmas cracker? Pitch us your Dreamcast-themed cracker, including a) the design of the cracker and paper hat, and b) the gift(s) contained within. Bad jokes are welcome too, of course. Our esteemed guests will pick a winner on the pod and all entries will be given a shout-out. 
2. Carollers… but, you know, Dreamcasty ones: instead of politely grinning through an off key rendition of silent night, wouldn’t it be grand if you got to hear your favourite Dreamcast game song belted out on your doorstep? How about Sonic Adventure’s ‘Open Your Heart’ lovingly rendered by Metallica? Or Yu Suzuki rattling through ‘The Whole New World’ from PSO? Let us know who you want to see carolling and what they would be singing. Entries will be featured on the pod.
3. Dreamcastic Christmas Tales: For those are perhaps unsure of what to submit for the above, you could always just tell us some of your abiding memories of Christmases past that involve the little white box. What game do you replay for the umpteenth time every boxing day? Is multiplayer Power Stone brought out before or after dinner? Has Santa ever left you any Dreamcast-related gifts? A selection of submitted stories will feature on the pod, so be sure to let us know all the wee details. Photos would be appreciated immensely too if you have them and will likely feature on an accompanying blog post for the episode.

All those who lend us their Dreamcastic Christmas ideas will of course gain a permanent spot on the DCJY ‘nice’ list, and will also be entered into a draw for some Dreamcast-related stocking fillers. Two winners will be randomly selected and contacted by the time the pod airs to arrange delivery.

So, don those ideas caps and get scribbling! Once again, the address to write to is dreamcastjunkyard (at) gmail dot com. We eagerly await your response.

A Dreamcast Christmas Tree Ornament from Hallmark has been Revealed!

They say that Christmas comes earlier each year. Well, Hallmark (America) seem to be determined to move it to as early as April, because they just announced their upcoming 2023 Keepsake tree ornaments range today, and... what’s that?! A Dreamcast ornament?!

Previously, Hallmark have released high-quality ornaments of the Sega Genesis (model 1) and the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, both with cool sound functions that play the theme songs of Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario World respectively. You can see the Genesis one demonstrated by our pal Derek Pascarella below: 

It’s going to be a very @SEGA Christmas this year! Hats off to @Hallmark for putting out this awesome Genesis model 1 ornament this year 🎄 pic.twitter.com/cTrpbE2IEJ

— Derek Pascarella (ateam) (@DerekPascarella) October 14, 2022

We never thought we’d see it, but the next Sega console to receive the Hallmark treatment is the Dreamcast! I guess they believe the nostalgia market is there for Sega's ill-fated swan song. I can't help but notice that they skipped right past the Saturn, though, but maybe we’ll get one next year. Your day will come, comrades.

Keeping in with the same high-level of quality Hallmark demonstrated with their previous game console ornaments, this Dreamcast version is looking fantastic. Measuring 4.71" in height, it certainly looks the part. Pressing the power button not only lights up the power light, but the VMU screen too, revealing a sprite of Sonic previously seen in the VMU game Chao Adventure. The music that plays is none other than the theme from Sonic Adventure's iconic Emerald Coast level. You can see this demonstrated in the video below.

On sale in October! https://t.co/ReIYfERCPZ pic.twitter.com/AvpbHh6YOv

— The Dreamcast Junkyard (@TheDCJunkyard) April 15, 2023

There's one problem, though, and perhaps we should have sensed it the moment we saw that orange swirl. Hallmark America doesn't ship outside of the States, and this ornament isn't available to purchase from Hallmark's UK equivalent store. So non-American folk may have a considerable amount of trouble getting hold of one outside of the UK... I guess we'll have to see when October 14th rolls around and the ornament finally goes on sale. User perkin_warbeck in our Discord community did point out that the Sega Genesis ornament was previously sold on Amazon US, who allow overseas shipping, so we’ll have to see if the Dreamcast ornament gets sold on there too. In the meantime, you can go to its store page on Hallmark's website and stare at it longingly.

Would you hang this ornament on your Christmas tree? Maybe hang it up in your game room somewhere? Are you going to try and get hold of one? Let us know in the comments below, or on one of our many social media channels!

Blue Stinger: On a Hello Market Slay Ride

"And when those blue snowflakes start falling

That's when those blue memories start calling

You'll be doing all right

With your Dreamcast of white

But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, Blue Stinger"

- Elvis Presley, or a Vegas impersonator thereof

Every year, I must indulge in a series of holiday rituals before I can even think about getting into the Christmas spirit. First, I’ll string up multicolor lights around my living room. Then I’ll help bring cheer to the folks of Twin Seeds City with a couple runs through Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams. Inevitably, I’ll watch Clark Griswold be an asswart to his neighbor Julia Louise-Dreyfus in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It’s a process.

With those nostalgic boxes checked, I’ll then turn to more subtle, personal ways of rediscovering the holiday magic. I'll take a simple reprieve from the stressful work season with my puppy. And stuff my gullet with my mom and aunt’s dueling cookie platters. My girlfriend and I also tried hate-watching Lifetime holiday movies until we realized we were just normal-watching them. Shout out to the one about the family's struggling fruitcake company and the one with Reba McEntire, btw. By this point, I’m really starting to feel the Christmas spirit.

Then – when the time is just right – I’ll pop the star atop the proverbial tree: Climax Graphics’ Christmas-adjacent Dreamcast classic, Blue Stinger.

Here comes Santa Dogs, Here comes Santa Dogs...

Whether the Dreamcast fan community regards it as a brilliant cult classic or a survival horror(ible) jankfest, Blue Stinger doesn’t much give a fuck what we think of it. All told, it's an absurd and campy holiday action game that makes my cup runneth over with Yuletide joy.

Sonic Adventure's Christmas DLC and How It Broke the Game

Christmas is coming. The goose is getting fat. Sonic has landed a movie role in which he plays an eldritch abomination.
Anyway. Let's ignore Sonic's mistreatment in the present and look back to Christmases of old, specifically the Christmas of 1999, when the millennium bug was striking fear into the hearts of common man and the Dreamcast was the coolest console money could buy (don't get it twisted: it still is). 
During the dates of the 17th of December and the 28th of December, Dreamcast gamers had the ability to install one of the first instances of downloadable content (DLC) ever (at least the kind we've all grown accustomed to in the last two generations) to their trusty VMU.

The "Christmas Party" download brings festivity to your game of Sonic by placing Christmas trees outside the station and in the town center. When players make Sonic jump at them, festive messages will come up on screen, wishing them a Merry Christmas. The music will also change to the Acapella version of "Dreams, Dreams" from Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams. Hopefully no one back in '99 thought this was a sign that a NiGHTS sequel might be coming to the Dreamcast.

Get Festive With These Dreamcast Christmas Jumpers

Looking for something to wear to the office Christmas party that belies your affection for the greatest console ever created? Want to effortlessly exude a level of festive swagger and style that transcends all cultures and language barriers? Want a garment so decadent in design that you'll still look like the coolest mofo on the block while you sit there unable to move after stuffing your disgusting bloated face with a metric tonne of chocolate and turkey on Christmas Day? Then look no further than this Dreamcast-themed Christmas jumper design from Coto7.

Available in a range of colours (and also several different garment types, including hoodies and varsity jackets), the 'All I want for Christmas...is a Sega Dreamcast' apparel is perfect for showing the rest of the world which way your gaming bread is buttered. The design is screen printed rather than embroidered (and appears to be the standard Dreamcast stock image ripped from Google), but the £20 price tag isn't overly extortionate and Coto7 offers free shipping on all UK orders and reasonable shipping to other arts of the world.

These are available in a range of sizes, and in mens, womens and childrens styles. Check out the 'All I want for Christmas...is a Sega Dreamcast' at Coto7 or on Amazon.

Will you be sporting one of these at festive events over the annual period of commercial greed and overindulgence? Let us know in the comments, in our Facebook group or on Twitter.

Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas once again and to celebrate, here's a little something special from our very own Aaron Foster: a specially drawn comic strip! This is the Junkyard's 11th Christmas and we'd like to thank everyone who continues to visit and support the blog, either through Patreon, downloading the podcast or simply just following and sharing our stuff on social media.

Click for a larger version!

In case you didn't know, Aaron is a professional animator and a damn fine artist too, so we hope the image above raises a smile. You can find Aaron's website and portfolio here and his YouTube channel Lucky Hit here. Go and check them out - you won't be disappointed!

Once again, Merry Christmas from all of us here at the Junkyard - here's to many more!

Merry Christmas!

Thanks to everyone who continues to read our posts - without you we wouldn't be bothering to update this thing as often as we do. If you've been with us from the start in 2005 then thanks, but likewise if you've been coming here since last Tuesday - equally so. Merry Christmas to you all!

Musings on Christmas Eve

Ghosts of winters past, fresh regrets and a look into the future

I sat recently in front of my fireplace, something or other on the television, and my mind wandered into the past. I think everyone gets this once in awhile. Something triggers a memory in the mind and then, bam, the floodgates open and you are awash with people, places and events that you thought you had forgotten but actually were buried back there, nestled deep down in the little grey cells.

I think, more often than not - well it certainly is the case for me, anyway - these retrospective mental walkabouts end badly. It either leads to regret or, if not, a rose-tinted view of the past that makes the present appear dull, pale and inferior to those bright and sunny days. You can’t really win, to be honest - both lead you down a path that ends with a desire to recapture the past so that you can experience it or alter it. In reality you can do neither.

IO SATVRNALIA, er... I mean Dreamcastalia?

It's the most wonderful time of the year, when we honour the ancient Roman goddess Saturn for her bountiful harvests and superlative 2D software library. Where masters and slaves come together to eat, get drunk, puke, eat some more, puke again and then eat some more. Don't worry about the mess, the slaves only get one day off a year.

She's the reason for the season. No joke.

But I digress. An equally important aspect of this time of year is gift giving, and more importantly, gift receiving. And lucky for you, I've been beavering away on a little surprise for you all, our fantastic community, with a little Dreamcast related gift this year. Note: if you're a Sega lawyer, you can skip to the last couple of paragraphs now.

Let It Snow

So, it's almost Christmas once again. Hard to believe there's been 9 of these disgusting, capitalist-driven things since the 'Yard started eh? We'll be celebrating 10 years this time in 2015...but until that glorious and momentous occasion arrives - it's business as usual here at the multiverse's inter-dimensional headquarters of all things even remotely Dreamcast related. Being vaguely 'in charge' of a privately-funded government black-ops organisational quango such as this does have it's perks. I've got a swivel chair in my vast oblong office, a desk, and a bust of Dogs Bower made from recycled Hassy cans. Oh, and a nice free-standing set of Argos' cheapest balsa wood shelves upon which I rest all of my Dreamcast paraphernalia. The only problem is that the weight of said items has somewhat bowed the high-quality beams to the point that the whole thing looks like some form of ridiculous wooden hammock; in which a monster constructed from blue plastic lies like the bloated corpse of a beluga whale. At least the company car is decent - it's basically Slash's cab from Crazy Taxi 2. The only thing is, one of the rules stipulates that I must drop off a group of rappers at a recording studio and Crazy Hop over at least one house during my daily commute. Starts to grate after a while.

Dreamcast Versus Xbox 360 Part 3

Hello, and Season's Greetings (vomit). You may remember my previous forays into the world of video creation, Dreamcast Versus Xbox 360 Part 1 & 2 that I uploaded to Youtube a few years back and also published here at the 'Yard. To my utter astonishment, the first one has over 20,000 views at present so there's obviously demand out there. Demand to see videos comparing Dreamcast games to games from the current generation. Granted, the mind boggles...but I've dusted off my shitty old Fujifilm (non-HD) digital camera again, recorded some new footage and slapped together another DCJY-exclusive visual comparison. This time its WRC 2 on the 360 (which is a stonking rally sim, by the way) squaring up against V Rally 2: Expert Edition. Enjoy:



The quality is lamentable, I know. And the editing isn't amazing (what do you expect from a Media graduate?!), but I'm using shitty tools. Give me a 2002 Avid suite and I'll give you Avatar 2. Sort of. Meh.

Before anyone says it, I know that WRC 2 is an awesome visual showcase (although it's no DiRT 3...), and I know that V Rally 2 looks like a tramp's gusset in true comparison...but to be fair, it doesn't look too far removed from most Gamecube and PS2/Xbox rally games. Even if all the Gamecube ones were a stain on Humanity. Damn this digressing! Anyway, it's just a bit of fun, so don't go mental.

There's more:

If I don't get the chance to say (write) it - Happy Christmas to all on the DCJY team, and to all our readers around the world. You guys and girls make it all worth it - 6 years on!

Erm...

The Dreamcast Junkyard would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

This Is My Dsmbr

Wooo! It's December! Which means it's nearly Christmas. Wooo! Just think - we can all spend hours upon hours walking around shopping centres, battling crowds and wracking our brains on what to buy for that special person, only for them to receive the carefully selected gift on the big day, rip the wrapping paper off and say "...oh, er, that's nice." Well, to that shit I say NAY! For this year, dear reader, I will be buying exactly nothing for exactly no-one. Now, I realise that's a massive double negative and actually infers that I, Tomleecee will actually be buying something for everyone...but you get my drift. Right?

Just as well I'm not buying in to the festivities this year really, as it leaves me with more money to buy firkins of moonshine (which will no doubt be consumed alone, in a cold, bare room on Christmas Day)...and Dreamcast games. The latter of which are things I've been snapping up with alarming regularity of late. The reason it's taken me a week to get around to writing this diatribe though is that I've been patiently waiting for all of these games to be delivered, as they were mostly purchased off of that there popular online auction site...as the BBC may refer to it.

These days I tend to go for the more unusual, harder to find games that were released for the PAL system, and this week I got hold of a game that I've been trying to get my hands on for ages. I realise that there are other, much more highly sought-after titles out there in NTSC-land, but I don't really dabble with the US/Jap side of things - I leave that stuff to the more learned amongst the DCJY team. And speaking of more learned team mates, Happy Birthday to Gagaman! It was his birthday on Monday but he kept it quiet, so feel free offer your condolences via the comments section. Cough. Getting back to the point, I tend to go after the blue boxed rarities rather than the orange ones, and this week's haul has united me with one such gem...but before I get to it, here's a quick run-down of the other stuff that arrived this week. Cheers postie! No more strikes, please!

Grand Theft Auto 2

Yep, long before Tony Whats-his-face or Nico Bellic were mincing about a fully 3D Liberty City, car-jacking and shagging hoes in alleys, GTA was firmly rooted in the realms of the 'top down shooter.' GTA 2 diverts from the original PSX game in that it's set in a sort of semi-futuristic world where several major gangs rule over the city, and you have to please each gang leader in turn to unlock new missions etc.

Let's be honest here - every man and his dog has played GTA in some form or another, so there's little point in me bleating on about how it works. What I will bleat on about though, is just how badly this game seems to have aged. Back when GTA 2 was released, nobody knew that the 3rd installment of the series would lead to a semi-revolution in the way all games were created, and the humble origins of today's titles seem a million miles away from the GTA we know and love.

From the top-down view (I still reckon the DC has enough grunt to handle a fully 3D version of this game, just look at Crazy Taxi for proof) and non-existent storyline, to the slightly bizarre control set up (the button configurations are ker-azy) and the disorientating way the vehicles handle, GTA 2 feels just plain odd to play nowadays. It still holds a lot of charm in a 'this-is-how-it-all-began' kind way, but to be honest I'd much rather play GTA 4 than this anyday.

MTV Skateboarding Feat. Andy McDonald

Hands up if you've ever heard of Andy McDonald? At first I thought this was a skateboarding game featuring that bloke who used to be in Coronation Street (sorry non-UK readers who haven't got a fucking clue what I'm on about), but it transpires that Andy McDonald is a skateboarder! Who'd have thunk it?! Hot on the tail of old war-horse Tony Hawk, Andy McDonald's title tries so, so hard to trump the master at his own game...but sadly (and rather inevitably) falls slightly short of the railing, bails and then smashes his teeth out by landing face-first on the pavement (or as Andy would probably say, sidewalk).

You know, I actually bought a real-life skateboard earlier this year, along with all the relevant gear (helmet, pads, trendy Vans trainers etc) because I somehow got it into my head that I wanted to learn how to do it properly. I went down to the local skate park and it quickly dawned on me that I was the only 27-year-old there...and that I couldn't ride the board for shit. The reason I tell you this slightly embarrassing anecdote is because if you took my skateboarding skills and made a game out of them, MTV Skateboarding is what you'd end up with: it's got the best intentions in the world (brilliant soundtrack, decent graphics, nice front end), but it hasn't got an ounce of the finesse of the professionals.

It actually looks quite good y'know. Shame about the Slow-mo pace.

And by this I mean that the controls suck beyond belief (there's about a 3 second delay between you pressing 'A' and an 'ollie' being performed on-screen), the frame rate makes it look like you're playing the game in half-speed (like on a DVD when you press pause and then play) and the various game-modes are hard as nails to actually get anywhere in. An example: in the 'Collect' mode, you have to collect MTV logos. Collect 10 and you'll open the next skate park. The thing is, if you collect a logo and then fall off your board (which you will - constantly), you lose it and it magically flies off back to where you collected it from! How unfair is that?! Bah - go away Andy McDonald and take your lame-ass Tony Hawk rip-off with you. Leave the soundtrack though, cock munch.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I gave the skateboard to a friend's 13 year old son. Kept the Vans for playing Speedball in though.

NBA Hoopz

Basketball. Never really been interested in it to be honest, although I gather it's all the rage in the territories...erm, sorry 'America.' Anyway, before I cause a bigger outrage than that time when half of Liverpool wanted me dead for calling John Lennon a chav, let's get back to the task in hand: NBA Hoopz. Anybody remember NBA Jam? I had it on the Atari Jaguar many, many moons ago and back then - being a person of simpler tastes - I found it quite enjoyable. Well, NBA Hoopz is quite similar in that it features teams of 3 players 'balling' and 'letting rip' with outlandish special moves and dribbling skills. For me, the real life sport offers little because to my eye it just looks like a load of massive, muscly men running back and forth across a badminton court - but NBA Hoopz does offer some entertainment simply because it adds an air of ridiculousness to proceedings.

Reflections, motherfucka! Mr Ronseal's work is done here

The players themselves are slightly super-deformed, so you can pretty much tell from the off it's not going to be another super-serious NBA 2K2-athon - and you'd be right. The action is frantic and sometimes a bit hard to follow as the possession of the ball constantly switches sides and the size of the court leads to shots raining in constantly...which in turn leads to some very high-scoring matches. NBA Hoopz has everything you'd expect from an NBA title - licensed teams, squeaky sound effects and OTT play by play commentary. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with the game...so if you're a fan of the subject matter then you'll probably get a lot of enjoyment out of it. Fair enough?

Aerowings 2: Air Strike

Oh yeah. Now we're talking. Remember 10 minutes ago before you read all that shite about my skateboard and Nico Bellic? Those 10 minutes you'll never get back? Remember? I was on about a game I've been after for ages. This is that game! Aerowings 2! It's even got a cool sub-title: Air Strike. Just rolls off the tongue doesn't it? Don't answer - that was rhetorical. So here we are then, the last great Dreamcast game that I've been searching for. Oh, there are others I don't yet have in my collection, but they can wait; Airstrike appears on ebay but once in a blue moon, so to actually win the auction was quite a momentous occasion for me. Yes, maybe I do need to get out more, but I'VE FINALLY GOT AEROWINGS 2!!! So how does it play? Well...

Watch this space very shortly for a full-scale 'proper' review. Natch*.

*Credit to Amiga Power, circa 1994.

May I take this opportunity, on behalf of all of the Dreamcast Junkyard team, Tomleecee, Gagaman(n), Caleb and myself, Father Krishna to wish all our readers and commentors a very Merry Christmas! Let us know what the old guy stuffs down yer chimney...