Deathmatch Frenzy!

Due to yesterday's one-man boycott of St Guinness Day, I spent Friday night alone, cold and hungry. There was some solace to be found in my new Dreamcast aquisitions though - namely Out Trigger and Heavy Metal Geomatrix. By about 7pm I had stopped hyper-ventilating over the thrift-tastic price I payed for them (see previous post) and was in a stable enough state to play through them.

Heavy Metal Geomatrix
I'd never actually heard of this before yesterday and the guy in the shop told me that this was a bit like Power Stone but 'not as good.' Er...'scuse me mate - Geomatrix is freaking awesome! It's not really anything like Power Stone, but rather more like a cross between Quake 3 and Spawn: In the Demon's Hand, in that it's a third person deathmatch game where you chase another character around a themed arena and use all manner of weapons to win the round. These range from projectile weapons (like impossibly large rocket launches) and punches and kicks to suspiciously familiar 'laser swords.' Lets just pray for Capcom's sake that a certain Mr Lucas doesnt get to play this. But what the hell am I saying? As if - even in the infinitesimaly small chance he did, he'd probably be too busy wiping his arse on Rembrandts to care.

Geomatrix has amazing graphics by the way, and that soundtrack...boodiful. Capcom - you've scored with this one guys. Just one gripe though - the arenas are a tad small...but thats just me being picky.

Out Trigger
No, not a game set on a stricken oil rig in the North Sea (for that see Street Piper Alpha...HA! - I JUST THOUGHT OF THAT!!!), but a game much like Geomatrix only this time done by the meastros at Sega Software R&D #2. That's AM2 to the layman...the collective genius behind Out Run, Daytona, Virtua Cop, Virtua Fighter, Virtua Racing, Hang On...and, erm Ferrari F355 Challenge.

You can play from either first or third person perspective and its actually a very accomplished true arcade take on the deathmatch game. Brightly coloured graphics, big guns and appaling voice overs...all present and correct! Top fun too...although I must raise a MAJOR gripe:

The keyboard setup cannot be changed so instead of usin the W, A, S and D keys to move (like you do in pretty much every shoot 'em up ever created), you have to use the frigging arrow keys! Disgraceful - especially when you're trying to balance the keyboard on your knee. Why Sega, eh?! Why you fuckin' wit us?! Shit, dawg...etc.
Now, In retaliation to Guinness's blatant bastardisation of a genuine Patron Saint's day, I'm off to drink a firkin of The Cream of Manchester.

50 Today!

You may recall a few weeks ago that I told fanciful stories of a not-to-distant land that goes by the name of 'Salford.' Tis a strange place full of rat faced children who roam the destitute and derelict streets looking for elderly people to harass; and drunken louts who enjoy nothing more than throwing bricks at you if you look in their general direction. It's also home to the mighty Manchester United, so it's not all bad.

Anyhow, today I made a return trip to seek out that branch of Gamestation that somehow manages to always have an abundance of the rarest Dreamcast games on the planet. I was not dissapointed. Not only did they have three (yes, THREE!) boxed copies of Shenmue 2 - all in mint condition I might add, but they also had a superlative selection of other games for sale at hideously fair prices. Not wanting to break into my weekend beer money stash, I limited myself to spending only £10 - but ended up going slightly over budget. Here's why:

Out Trigger
Heavy Metal Geomatrix
18 Wheeler
Virtua Tennis.

The total cash tendered?


TWELVE POUNDS AND NINETY EIGHT PENCE!!

What the hell can you get for £12.98? Not a lot in this day and age...but I got four awesome Dreamcast games, all in literally brand new condition. They had many more games too (Record of Lodoss War, Street Fighter Alpha 3, Jo Jo's Bizarre Adventure, Zombie Revenge, MDK2, GTA 2, Giant Killers...), and I'll be back there next week without a doubt. But the reason for that title is simple - today's buy has brought the Dreamcast Junkyard's total number of games up to a mind splintering 50!

Oh happy day.

You may be wondering why I'm actually bothering to write this shit when I should be out 'celebrating' St . Patrick's Day like everyone else. Well, I'm not. The reason? Well, it's nothing more than a huge marketing scam by Guinness is it? They can shove their disgusting brew...this gamer (as you probably already knew) doesnt fall for clever marketing slogans...

Jumping Jehosephat

Allow me to introduce The GagaMan, a 'stereotypical British wannabe animator,' fellow Sega fanatic and owner of an impressively extensive collection of Dreamcast paraphenalia. This is the kind of thing the Dreamcast Junkyard actively encourages - intelligent people sharing their love for all things DC related with other likeminded gamers...It almost brings a tear to my single, unblinking glass eye (pictured).

Without further ado, here's an illustrated run down of The GagaMan's superb collection:

PeripheralsToys

Games...

Games...

And more Fucking* Games!!!

but wait, that's not all...HOLY FUCK* IN A BUCKET...HAVE A BUTCHERS AT THIS LITTLE LOT:

And it continues...Mags, Demos, Videos, Posters, Toys, a MULTIMEGA!!...stunning.

As is the norm in these special circumstances, The Dreamcast Junkyard salutes you - The GagaMan!

And if being privy to possibly the world's greatest Sega collection isn't enough and you want to discover more about The GagaMan's artistic talents, visit his blog here.

*The Dreamcast Junkyard would like to take this opportunity to apologise to readers of a nervous disposition for the high frequency of foul language in this post.

Adventures in eBay

Oh look. A birthday cake. Just like the one I didn't get. Moving on, we all know that you can get practically anything on eBay. I once saw someone trying to flog a plastic bag that was filled with air from inside the cinema at the premier of Mr & Mrs Smith. The major selling point, according to the pathetic twat who had listed it, was that a Mr Brad Pitt and Ms Big Lips Voight had expelled CO2 in that very auditorium and so whoever won the bag would own a 'piece' of said Hollywood shag partners. And some cretin had ACTUALLY BID ON IT!!!!!!!!!!

Aaanyway...as most people occasionally do, I like to browse the virtual auction rooms for bizarre and sometimes affordable pieces of obscure gaming tat. Indeed, most of the 'Yard's stock came from those hallowed pages. However, every now and then a few items appear that are truly special and here for your enjoyment are some of the less ubiquitous offerings (people listing copies of Soldier of Fortune with the phrase 'RARE!' in the heading have automatically been sent a vicious computer virus by the Junkyard's impossibly powerful Dreamcast powered artificial intelligence mainframe.) You have been warned.

Dreameye!

Cool - you probably wouldn't be able to use it these days, but it'd be nice to see one of these in the 'Yard. Not gonna happen in the near future though - I need a new coat.

System Shell!

Oh yes...If only these were more readily availible. Problem is - I aint payin £30 for it to get shipped from America.

Pad Converter!

Play your DC games with a PS pad? Sure! Probably not rare at all in the US, but here in Blightly anything with a blue swirl is as rare as rocking horse shit.

Wierd Transparent Keyboard!

Woah - how cool is this? It'd be even better if it had LEDs inside. I'm sure that with my electronics skillz I could manage it...Interesting.

Cool Black Gun!

Strangley, Sega didn't release their official light gun in the US because of fears surrounding gun crime. Even stranger is that the official Sega gun is big, white and looks nothing like a firearm. This Starfire gun is new to me and looks decidely more realistic, but still looks more like something out of Star Trek than a 'piece' off the streets of South Central L.A.

Further more, you can still "Suffer, like G did," but now in style!!

Dreamcast Vinyl!

Yes! now you too can emblazon your house with a vinyl Dreamcast Logo. According to the listing, the Dreamcast vinyl can withstand all kinds of weather conditions for 5 years! Just think - you could support the Dreamcast until 2011! Yay!

Bar Sign?!?!?!

Now, while you are never, ever going to see one of these in any bar (come to think of it, you wouldn't have seen one in a bar when the Dreamcast was still en vogue), I do think it looks pretty good...If only it didn't cost £30 for delivery.

On the subject of ripping out that orange LED and replacing it with a blue one, I went into Maplin yesterday and spent my entire dinner hour trying to explain to the very nice but English languagley challenged Indian gentleman what I wanted. When we finally agreed that I didnt want a solar powered torch or a potato powered alarm clock, it became apparent that they had no LEDs. Blue or otherwise. And this is supposedly Britain's premier electronic component outlet. Typical eh? Therefore, The Dreamcast Junkyard awards Maplin the first entry into the Dreamcast Junkyard Shit Pit of Shame. Be sure to read further nominations in coming posts.

Finally, look here for my review of Crazy Taxi 2. Your comments, as ever, are highly appreciated.

Stock Take

Now that the Dreamcast is hardly what you'd call 'popular,' the games are extremely cheap - and Gamestation are seemingly trying to get rid of their stock of DC related stuff as quickly as possible. One tactic employed is their 'BOGOF' promotion that I have harped on about in the past. That is, Buy One, Get One Free. Today saw the purchase of Tony Hawk's 2 and that yielded a free copy of Charge 'N' Blast to go with it.

So that, I'm sure you'll be extraordinarily delighted to know, brings the total games library of the Dreamcast Junkyard up to the rather spiffing number of 46!

These games are:
Charge N Blast, Slave Zero, Tony Hawks 2, Soul Fighter, Crazy Taxi 2, UEFA Dream Soccer, 4-Wheel Thunder, V-Rally 2, Sega GT, Hydro Thunder, Jet Set Radio, F1 World GP 2, Sega Rally 2, Rush 2049, F355 Challenge, Dead Or Alive 2, Super Runabout, Red Dog, Royal Rumble, Virtua Fighter 3, Rainbow Six, Episode 1: Racer, Unreal Tournament, Quake 3, Sonic Adventure, Hidden & Dangerous, Chu Chu Rocket, House of the Dead 2, Soldier of Fortune, MSR, Berserk, Virtua Striker 2, Incoming, Ready 2 Rumble Round 2, Worms Armageddon, Code Veronica, Shenmue, Carrier, Dave Mirra, NHL 2K, Soul Calibur, Revolt, F1 World Grand Prix, Ultimate Fighting Championship, WWF Warzone and Planet Ring (ungraded because I can't play it).

Key - Games I love; Games I think are alright; Games that should be sent to the Black Hole of Calcutta.

There also some other items, such as Quake (the original), the Megadrive Emulator with about 400 games on it, the VCD player, Utopia Boot Disk and 9 Dream On demo discs.

No new hardware to report since last round up but here is is:
Console (obviously), 2 Official Guns, 3 VMUs, Keyboard, Mouse, Microphone. The Dreamcast Junkyard must, however, report the sad loss of an item. One of the joypads featured in one of the first posts on the 'Yard was from a shop that is manned by neanderthals and seems to only ever be visited by tracksuit wearing cretins who reek of sweat and beer (see picture). The shop is called 'Cash Generator,' and the pad in question appeared to be in fine working order...that is until I tried to plug it in for some 4 player action...the bit on the end was all squashed and wouldn't go into the hole. Even my incredible skills of fixing stuff was no match for the ridiculous mal-treatment this poor pad had undergone in the hands of it's previous owner. Therefore it had to be put down (thrown in the bin). What this diatribe means is that I now only have 3 pads.

But I've got no friends anyway, so in your face cruel fate!!!

Lastly, I've also started writing reviews for the American multiformat retro-games website Defunct Games. Here are my first published reviews of UEFA Dream Soccer and F1 World Grand Prix 2. As always, let me know what you think.

Attic Attack

My dear old mother recently moved and decided that, whilst her black hole's worth of clutter and useless tat could go with her into the new house, the few meagre belongings that occupied her attic had to go back to their owner - me. After several phonecalls and answer machine messages (along the lines of "come and get all this shite out of my new house, you little cunt"), I finally went to retrieve my items and sort out what I wanted and what could go to the tip.

Here's what I managed to salvage from the carnage:

Sonic and (his cheeky young scamp of a friend) TailsA nice selection of Dreamcast related media texts and a launch magazineThe 'lid' for a VMU, so now one of my VMUs is complete!

It's amazing what you can find in an attic!

Inconspicuous

Like most people of a stable disposition, this gamer likes nothing more than a few beers. So last night (like on most Saturday nights), I found myself in a local hostelry partaking in much merry making. Imagine my suprise when I went in these toilets to relieve myself...

No - It wasn't the pristine condition of these Gents' that suprised me...It was the pattern on the wall tiles:That, my good man, is quite clearly a Dreamcast swirl!

The Dreamcast Junkyard: always alert!

D'oh!

That title won't make sense until you've read my scathing review of Virtua Shitkicker 2...

But for my sins, I just thought you might like this...it's not related to the Dreamcast in any way, but it is fantastic (and helps the title to make sense) - so there's at least one similarity! Enjoy!

In other news, Quake 3 Arena is just as fucking wicked as I suspected with the Mouse & Keyboard. I had played it with the joypad, and it wasn't too bad to begin with, but the M&K just adds a new dimension of playability and speed. It's easily the best compatible game I've got.
Game: 9/10 Control: 9/10

Oh...and rest assured, Half-Life will be here in the not-so-distant future!

I must also take this opportunity to thank all of you who read this blog on a regular basis - it'd be fuck all without you, so cheers!

New Stuff 2!

When it comes to Dreamcast games there are, in my opinion, 3 distinct catergories. The first catergory, for the purpose of this post, shall be named 'Common as Muck.' Games that fall into the 'Common as Muck' catergory are so numerous in duplicate that they are ubiquitous. Piles of shit such as Soul Fighter, Chu Chu Rocket* and Sonic Adventure*...the ones that everyone's got and that always turn up in second hand shops and at car boot sales.
The second catergory, that shall henceforth be known as "Where There's Muck There's Brass," lays claim to titles that whilst are many in number, are relatively hard to come by - Sega Exteme Sports, Evil Twin, Worms World Party and F1 World Grand Prix 2 for example.

However, there is a catergory that stamps on these two with a size 13 steel toe-capped rigger boot. A selection of Dreamcast games so rare and hard to come by (by chance, in a shop that is - eBay doesnt count!) that they have reached almost mythical status. The Triforce of the Dreamcast fraternity, if you will. Delights such as Shenmue 2...Sonic Adventure 2...Crazy Taxi 2...

Ladies and Gentlemen...let me introduce the newest entrant into the 'Yard:

CRAZY-MOTHERFUCKING-TAXI 2!!!

Yes, it's here...and it rocks. And to add to my near Class A state of ecstacy, I also got a copy of Quake 3 Arena free with it...

It's weird though, because the other day I was looking on eBay and I saw this:

I saved the picture for some reason, even though I had no use for it...maybe it was an omen.

*the 'pile of shit' comment only applied to Soul Fighter. The other two are fantastic games that are fully endorsed by The Dreamcast Junkyard.

Kewl Boarding

You may remember that right at the start of this blog, when the Dreamcast Junkyard was a wee nipper, I posted that I had acquired a mouse and keyboard combo from a jolly chap who went by the name of Mr E. Bay. Well, if my memory serves me that post was published waaay back on the 19th of December 2005 - nearly 3 months ago. Christ, doesn't time fly when your playing Dreamcast games and living just above the poverty line? Anyhow, it's taken me till now to actually try these things out properly with the games I have that are compatible. So, the question remains - Does using a keyboard and a mouse really make that much of a difference when playing said games?

Soldier of Fortune
If you've read my review of Soldier of Fortune, you'll know that I'm not necessarily it's biggest fan. Indeed, I'm currently masterminding a plan to hunt down and destroy every copy in circulation via means of a 10,000 strong army of invincible time travelling robots...much like the one that supplies Xzibit's voice. However, I digress. Saying that though, with a mouse and keyboard set up, Soldier of Fortune is very smooth to play. Still doesn't detract from the overall skankiness of this rushed PC conversion, but hey.
Game: 2/10, Control: 8/10


Hidden & Dangerous
Another slightly below par (shouldn't that be above par?) PC conversion - Hidden & Dangerous really comes into it's own with the keyboard and mouse. All of the complex team based commands are readily availible via the keyboard, and controlling your line of sight is made mcuh easier with a mouse. Good stuff.
Game: 6/10, Control: 8/10


Unreal Tournament
Now this is what I'm talking about. I recind my comments about Unreal Tourney being a bit crap in a recent post - with the joypad it is a little sluggish - but slam in a mouse and keyboard and you're cooking on gas. Wow - i didn't think it would make so much difference! Being able to quickly and simply swing the view through 360 degrees makes for some really great and tense firefights and is so much more intuitive that using the cumbersome joypad control. Top marks.
Game: (pre mouse) 5/10 (post mouse) 7/10, Control: 9/10


I also tried the set up with some games that, even though don't
have the icon on the back of the box, made sense that they may be compatible - these were Rainbow Six, Slave Zero, Worms Armageddon and Red Dog. Alas they were having none of it. Not even Soul Calibur works, a game famous for being compatible with the fishing rod! Pah.

There is a downside to all this though. While the mouse and keyboard is good if your console is on a desk - and lets be honest, who's is? (unless you're hooked up to a monitor via VGA) - it's pretty awkward trying to get stuff for it to sit on. As you can see from my pic, I had to arrange a sort of orchestra of chairs to play in any reasonable state of semi-comfort. Furthermore - because you have to use 3 ports (mouse, keyboard, joypad with VMU plugged in), any chance of split screen is out of the window...although you'd need to be playing in the Banquet Hall at the Palace of Versailles to have enough room for you, the controls and a some mates.

Finally - on this evidence alone, Quake 3 Arena WILL be making an appearance in the next 24 hours. Verdict to come.

Tissues and Issues

Here's a must have item for any discernable Dreamcast fan who happens to have either an inevitable case of H5N1 avian flu; or be going through a barren patch when it comes to the delights of the fairer sex...

Favouritism

For various reasons, there are some Dreamcast titles that were never released in foreign territories. In some cases, it is fairly obvious that the subject matter of the game in question probably wouldn't go down too well in a country other than that it originated it - a perfect case in point would be the massive market in Japan for dating games. For some reason, I just can't see Sentimental Graffiti 2 getting too high in the games chart in the UK - a game in which you must (apparently) dash across the city in an attempt not to be late for a big date.

However, Sega have made some really wierd choices when choosing
which American games not to release in Europe and vice versa. First up is this: Who Wants To Beat Up a Millionaire? - a game I'd never actually heard of until today. It appears to be a parody of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? (a game that was pretty cack), but from the reviews I've read online seems to be actually rather good.

Likewise, there are some UK games that were never given a US launch, but - and this is a big BUT - these games were some of the best ever made for the Dreamcast. Headhunter, for example - was the DC's pseudo-answer to Metal Gear...a simply awesome game in which you played a bounty hunter called Jack Wade and had to get around a huge fictional city on a motorbike, before breaking into warehouses and the like and having gun battles with terrorists. Got about three quarters through it and got rid off it a few years ago. Now I'll probably have to pay through the nose to buy it back again.

Similarly, and even stranger, Shenmue 2 was never given an official US release. Why? Who knows.

Lawsuit Imminent 2: This Time It's Personal

OK, so you've probably heard all the rumours about Sega planning to start selling refurbished Dreamcast units again on their Japanese website, complete with a phone card (?!) or something equally ridiculous. Great news, I'm sure you'll agree. However, wouldn't it be cool if the system was relaunched in some of the following flavours...

XBOXCAST

CUBECAST!WORST NIGHTMARECAST!!

...just to piss off the other console manufacturers? And why stop there? Come on Sega - lets have some CDi- and Jagcasts too!