Mean Green Machine

This past weekend I managed to catch up with an old friend and former writer here at the 'Yard - the artist formerly known as Father Krishna. FK, as we would occasionally refer to him, was part of the team from around 2007 - 2010 but due to personal reasons decided to take a hiatus from writing about Sega's lovely box of tricks. FK will be making a long overdue return to the Junkyard in the near future, but that's not the reason for this post. When I arranged to meet him, FK said he had a gift for me and I wasn't really sure what to expect. Imagine my shock and delight when he presented me with this bad boy:

Yep, it's a PAL Dreamcast in an aftermarket translucent green shell, complete with matching green VMU and two-tone green and clear controller. Naturally, I was a little taken aback by this act of generosity - all the more so since I've been looking for a translucent Dreamcast shell for quite a considerable amount of time but have always been put off by the relatively high price of them (and astronomical shipping costs from overseas in most cases).

Falling In Love Again...

Where my Dreamcast collection was headed..

If you read my last post here at the Junkyard, you'll know that I had transitioned from an obsessive Dreamcast collector/hoarder of extreme proportions, to what one might term a 'retro dismissive.'

My retro gaming passion was not quite extinguished, but had definitely been dampened by the availability of a raft of downloadable Dreamcast titles on both Xbox Live and PlayStation Network. It meant I could lazily access enough Dreamcast titles from my current consoles (initially the Xbox 360, and later the PS3), to ensure that I was getting my fix of retro Sega endorphins from a different source than the undead console.

Another factor in my gradual distance from the Dreamcast, was the fact that I'd been retro gaming for a number of years by this time. I had overwhelmed myself, flooded my brain receptors with more  nostalgic video gaming than it could handle. I'd purchased dirty little 'side collections,' for the Sega Saturn, the Sega Game Gear, The Sega Master System. As well as these, I'd played a ton of PlayStation 2 games, many of them stunning and of course unavailable on the Dreamcast; with Virtua Fighter 4 and the first two Yakuza games helping me through the Shenmue wilderness years.

Not actually Father K, or Simon Early for that matter...

Father Krishna's Big One...

You know, ever since I've been writing on this esteemed Blog, there's been something I've been wanting to show you. I've kept it private so far, because sometimes I get a little embarassed about it's size. You see, I've got a big one. Really big. It just keeps growing and growing. Now there's nothing wrong with having a small one. It's better than not having one at all. Besides, I've heard it's not the size, but how you use it that counts.... But now for the first time I'd like you all to see it. So I'm going to show you some pictures of it. When you've seen it I know you're going to want to get your hands on it. But I'm the only one allowed to touch it. I asked my wife, Mrs. Krishna if she wanted to get her hands on it, but so far she's shown no interest...What? You thought I was alluding to my penis??? No!!! I'm talking about my Dreamcast collection! So here it is in all it's glory....

These are my import games... Capcom vs. SNK, death Crimson OX, Sega Smash Pack, Samba De Amigo (Did you get a glimpse of my maracas???), Typing Of The Dead and Caution Seaman... Nestled in the middle is brand new Dreamcast release Last Hope!!!!

So there you go! It's there in all it's glory! I've tucked it all away now, and I won't be getting it all out again for a while... Sorry the photos are shit, but I took them all on my phone. Anyway, if you're confused by any blurred image then I will be happy to clarify what that shit is... Also sorry about the squashed up nature of the post, that was Blogger not me!!! See ya!

Haarlem Globe-trotter

This is actually a REAL shop in Haarlem!!

Hey Up M'Dears!

'Tis I, your pimpernel-like, least prolific, and yet curiously most admired team member, Father Krishna!

"Who?" I hear you ask, -well a quick glance at the old side-bar should reveal my DCJY credentials, whilst a dip into the DCJY archives should reveal why I don't post here very often. The last time my DC received a play session, was a blast through Shenmue last October, to see if it still stood the test of time (it does!). This was inspired by my purchase of Sonic and Sega All Stars Racing which I dearly love, and play on the Xbox and DS.

However, as usual, I digress. I recently returned from the Astral Plane where I reside with those ethereal beings the 'Ascended Masters', in order to take a short visit to the wonderful cities of Amsterdam and Haarlem, in that most tolerant and easy going of territories, the Netherlands!

Apart from getting thoroughly off my twat on pipe fulls of (absolutely legal) Haarlem Haze and Ice-olator Resin, I also stumbled upon this little shop which proudly displayed an image of the Hallowed Hedgehog, with the 'crap and unimaginative/post modern and ironic' shop name: Game Shop.


Once inside, there was a great selection of all things aSega including cartridges for the Game Gear, Master System and Megadrive, games for the 32X and Mega CD and this tidy little collection of Dreamcast and Saturn games. The games were an exorbitant 15+ Euros, and were not particularly rare or exciting. Thus nothing got bought for my Dreamcast or Saturn collections.


What I did buy was this rather lovely little nugget for the Gameboy Advance - Sonic Pinball Party.


Chock full of Sega goodness, this basic pinball sim features both the Saturn's 'NiGHTS' and the Dreamcast's favourite primate, 'Samba'. In fact in 2003, (in contrast to the glut of ports heading from the Dreamcast to the Xbox, Gamecube and PS2), Sonic Pinball and Jet Set Radio for the Gameboy Advance were among the only original games using Dreamcast IP game characters that were still being produced!

It's always good to stumble across a tiny independent gameshop that still sells Dreamcast merchandise, even better when said discovery comes after a particularly potent strain of bubble hash on a beautiful day in the coolest country in Europe.

(On a 'Tomleecee DC spotting' related note, the Kyle family in My Wife And Kids are always playing the Dreamcast, I just don't know how how to capture the image and print it here!)

Take care peeps!
FK :)

May I take this opportunity, on behalf of all of the Dreamcast Junkyard team, Tomleecee, Gagaman(n), Caleb and myself, Father Krishna to wish all our readers and commentors a very Merry Christmas! Let us know what the old guy stuffs down yer chimney...

Dramatic Gamestation U-Turn!

Well, not quite. You may recall Father Krishna's post a few weeks back documenting Gamestation's outrageous (but unconfirmed) policy of incinerating unsold games of yesteryear in some sort of macabre retro holocaust. Imagine my suprise then, whilst having a nose around a local branch of Gamestation I noticed the tiniest of Dreamcast 'sections' peeping out from under a load of Gamecube titles:



This 'section' comprised dog-eared copies of Ready 2 Rumble and MSR (sans box cover) but also contained Jet Set Radio and Shenmue. I also found it quite apt that several of the Gamecube games above were ports of Dreamcast games.

And you thought mobile phone cameras were useless!

Ying/Bang

Well shit in my eye - it's Friday the 13th! AAARGH!

Ahem. Following on appropriately:

You know, they say (whoever the fuck 'they' are) that for every good thing that happens in life, another thing just as astonishing - but in a shit way - occurs to readdress the balance. A bit like when that Newton fellow decided that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

After the last few days' events, I'd like to find this Newton geezer and knock his fucking head off.

Some of you reading this may have been privy to one of European football's most spectacular displays of brilliance earlier this week. Yes, Manchester United's systematic destruction of Roma at the Theatre of Dreams, Old Trafford. Twas a night to remember and signal of intent to all of the lesser teams daring to attempt to win the Champions League. I for one was making merry after the final whistle. As I'm also sure (blue scum) Father Krishna was :-)


So far, so good.

Imagine my horror then, when not so long after those (Spartan-esque) heroic events on the hallowed turf at Old Trafford, I discovered that while moving my beloved Dreamcast stuff from my mother's old hovel to her new...erm...hovel (I keep my stuff there because I have no space for it!), the shaven monkeys masquerading as removal men had virtually destroyed every single jewel case in my possession. Quite how, I'm still not sure - but rest assured that every single mother-humping case is in some way broken. Not a big deal you may think, but after taking so much care of the boxes for so long...and to have them all smashed to bits by fucking ignorant Neanderthals is extremely annoying.

Nay - heart rending.

Nevertheless, life goes on (whereas my old Mum's nearly didn't when she remarked "they're only games..."). As such, let me illustrate two of my newest Dreamcast purchases:

Tee Off Golf
The Dreamcast's only golf game (I believe), Tee Off is a twee little title in which massive-headed cartoon characters battle it out for golfing domination across several generic courses. It's certainly no Tiger Woods or PGA Tour Golf (Mega Drive version), but it's playable enough and has a multitude of game modes (including a rather strange virtual reality bit). Oh, and the graphics are quite pleasant - look:


Unfortunately, listening to the 'music' is akin to letting Thor smash bolts of lightening through your ear drums with his Thunder Hammer (TM).

Tech Romancer
A frankly brilliant fighting game that has you smashing the shit out of each other...whilst controlling fuck-off massive robots! Heaven! It sort of reminds me of GASP!! on the N64 (is that a good thing?), only...erm...better. The controls are pretty simple and it's really easy to pull off some epileptic-fit inducing special moves. The best thing about Tech Romancer though (no, it's not the name), is the way each battle has the feel of an episode of a Manga-style cartoon. All round brilliance, make no mistake. Not Soul Calibur by any means, and the in-game graphics are hardly stellar, but still...Tech Romancer is a highly decent game of robotic fisty-cuffs.


Hopefully, I'll be able to keep at least these two games in some sort of semi-complete state, and even retain the little plastic tabs that hold the cases together. Hopefully...


Finally, whilst perusing Google (utilising somebody else's unsecured wireless network, I might add) I found this rather nifty (read: Geekish) Dreamcast-oriented word search! Cool or what?!


Not that I can be arsed finding all the words, mind.

Adios!

Makeshift Philosophizing

Word, people. Christ - it's been a while eh?! And, as I've stated many a time in the anals (or is it annals?) of time, Father Krishna and The Gagaman have done a fucking amazing job of keeping the Dreamcast Junkyard the world's - nay - the Multiverse's premier source for Dreamcast related...erm...stuff. And to them, I doff my cap in a fashion not seen since, ooh, 1876. In London. With mist and shit swirling around gas powered street lamps. But ENOUGH!

In time honoured fashion I ask the question - WHY? Why do I grace these hallowed pages today? Today of all days? Well, the answer is like a fat bloke's stomach upon taking a seat after a particular strenuous trip to the fridge for more food - multi-layered. Firstly, I would like to announce that today - Thursday - is the day before Good Friday. And if you happen to be classed as Proletariat, tomorrow signals a day off work. Huzzah!

I understand there's also some religious guff that goes with Good Friday, but I'll be damned if I know what it is. Chortle. The point I'm trying to make is that with days off comes free time - and free time generally goes hand in hand with drinking more beer...and more time to play on your Dreamcast! See - I told you there was a point!

I don't know this Bob guy, but I like him already...

More importantly, yesterday saw something of a mini milestone for me - my first Dreamcast related purchase in over 6 months!!! Buying DC games used to be something of a formality for me - every time I stepped through the wierd portal on the front of the house (more commonly known as a 'front door'), I sort of knew that I'd be returning with something with a blue swirl on it. Even if I was going for a pint, I'd be on the lookout for Dreamcast shit, and those who remember the 'Dreamcast in pub toilet' episode can testify to that.

Sad? You bet you're ass.

However, In these turbulent times, such frivolity is no longer possible. And that's why yesterday's purchase of Stunt GP for the incredible price of £3.00 is so important. Have we mentioned Stunt GP before? Not sure, but basically it's Re-Volt on steroids. With Stunts. And not set in real-life locations. And without the joypad-smashingly frustrating controls.

OK, the only thing it's got in common with Re-Volt is that it's got RC cars in it:

See - they're doing stunts by driving round the curly T! Amazing!

If only all multi-storey car parks were such fun

Two wheels = more points

Whoever took these shots is shit - they're always in 6th place

Rather than have you racing through houses and super markets like in Re-Volt, Stunt GP's locales are limited to specially built tracks that look as if they're made from bits of scalextric, replete with banked corners, slaloms, tunnels and the obligatory jumps from which you gain 'air' and perform the titular stunts. All well and good. And that's not me being sarcastic either - Stunt GP is a brilliant game, with superb (albeit slightly sparse) graphics and highly manouverable vehicles. Put simply: It's a fun little game made even better by the fact that I only paid three quid for it. The only thing I thought strange though (and the same thing goes for Re-Volt), was that if these are supposed to be radio controlled cars...where are the people controlling them? Think about that one. It's a bit like that "if a tree falls and no-one hears it...does it make a noise?" thing innit. Or maybe just for me. Moving swiftly on...

I looked in my hotmail inbox this morning and saw an email from a familiar name. It was Gary from Dreamcasting. You may remember that we featured Gary's awesome collection of DC paraphernalia quite some time ago (probably about a year ago, actually), and also the fact that he's yer man if you want to play Half Life, Propellor Arena, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs (whatever that is), Flintstones etc on your Dreamcast.


Well, now he's set up an online photo album thingy where you can admire his artistic handywork when it comes to creating bespoke game boxes and manuals. And more importantly you can contact him and order the damned things. If anyone gets Cadillacs and Dinosaurs, be sure to let us know what it's all about. Cadillacs and...er...Dinosaurs, I'd imagine, but the only Cadillacs and Dinosaurs this gamer can remember is the one that was portrayed as a screenshot on the back of the Atari Jaguar console box. Very Intriguing indeed.

Email here for more information

Anyway, until December 2010 (probably), this is Tomleecee signing off.

Death Crimson OX Review

Well they say in this life you get what you wish for... And I wished for Death Crimson OX and I got it...

Universally panned in every review I've ever read, I felt undeterred and searched eBay for this coveted treasure.

In Samuel Beckett's frankly fucking depressing masterpiece "Waiting For Godot", the hopeless central charatcers, Estragon and Pozzo, trapped in a hostile limbo-like wasteland, resort to insulting each other... After exchanging swearwords, profanities and a variety of scathing comments about each other, the ultimate insult to be levelled is "CRITIC!"



"Yer fecking big CRITIC!!"

This was Beckett's way of replying to those who had poured scorn over his writing, because they had not 'got it', and often were so puffed up with their own smug sense of self worth, that they had missed the point of the work they were reviewing.



"Father Krishna!" I hear you cry "What the fuck is this? Some poncey, Open University, literary analysis, or a shitting games review for fucks sake?" (Ahem!) and to you I say, "Calm down oh reader...I'm getting to the point..."

It's the same with games reviewers.

Frankly I think a lot of games reviewers and 'experts' are:

a.) Up their own arse
b.) Overly critical of the genre
c.) Trying to score points with their smug sense of self satisfaction
d.) Very much in need of a good shag/An excursion away from their consoles and into the real fucking world....


















The game is a Light Gun game for fucks sake! A port of an arcade blaster! A mindless 'shoot'em up'! A lovely psychedelic slaughterfest, with a thinly veiled plot... there's no need to 'wax lyrical' about the finer points of frame rates, the subtelties of pixellation, the nuances of character or the profundities of the moral lessons learned throughout it's sub-plot...

Before I get any further on with my my soap box rant let's look at the (admittedly) poo storyline...
(This is the blurb off the back of the box...)

'July 29, 2010. The beautiful city of Saronica is destroyed by the mysterious SMO. Agents, known as Subliminers, are placed throughout the city to opress the populace. Survivors form the Resistance and fiercely engage SMO forces in battle. The Resistance is led by the elusive Lily, who also makes a mean dish of macaroni and cheese. (I kid you fucking not... FK)
Segue to Agent Kou Yanami, tortured with doubt over his employer's policies. he seizes two pistols from SMO's arsenal and joins the Resistance forces.His pistols are the Crimson, ancient super weapons,. lily attempts to shelter Kou, from his dogged pursuers but in turn falls prey to SMO. Now, Kou Yanami and Lily's daughter, Yuri, set out to free her... and blow away any SMO Subliminers who get in their way...'

So there you have it! Not fucking revolutionary, but not that much inferior to the plot line of HOTD 2 for example... Let's not forget, the game is about blowing away monsters, skeletons, zombies, robots and hulkng behemoths wielding swords... How much plot do you need? Did Asteroids need a plot ? (A lone ship in a barren Universe... Astronauts Chad Thwackerman and his latent homosexual lieutenant , Charles Blanchefort suddenly discover they are facing a hail of meteoric appocalypse... ) PUR-LEASE!




Similarly, the use of text representation of character's speech, rather than spoken word? Is that a massive problem?

Did HOTD2 scour the acting world for the cream of vocal excellence...HELL NO! Did bad voice acting affect the game? NO!

The graphics, whilst not the best, are vividly colourful and imaginative. The game has a good variety of villains to plug away at. Like HOTD2 and Virtua Cop, there are innocent civillians to avoid, weapon upgrades and 'life-ups' to discover. At the end of the level there are Bosses to defeat (one with a blob of shite on the end of his sabre - known as (LOL) "The Sword Of Stink"!

The one problem I have with the game is a minor one and I'm coming to terms with it quickly.
The shooting method is totally different to Virtua Cop, HOTD2 or Confidential Mission.
On my screen (though not on the video on the IGN link below) there is a moveable target. You use the D pad on the gun to aim it at your adverasies. Reloading is acheived with the a press of the B button, which means having to use both hands whilst firing... ho hum!





There are a number of modes in which to play the game, Mission Mode, Story Mode and Bullet Mode, the latter involving slaying your many faceted foes, with the minimum amount of ammo...
I managed in two attempts on 'easy' option on Story Mode to clear two stages, earning me a place on the leader board, and got to input my initials. Go me! Longevity of gameplay is not an issue for me, I like the odd game that I can just pick up and play, revisit when I want to and leave if I want... This little baby fits the bill. I won't play it to death, won't obsess about completion, or feel that I've been undersold as a result. The only two Dreamcast games which have had me hooked in that respect are Shenmue 1 & 2 and Soul Calibur (Mission Mode). As a devoted family man (!) I simply haven't the time to devote lots of hours to gameplay, so a half hour of blasting away at monsters, or a quick spin in a Crazy Taxi, are the sought of things that can provide a short burst of escapism. Plus I have too many games which I've bought and never played meaning I can discover a 'new' hidden gem at any time!

So, all in all Death Crimson OX is a winner for me.... 'it does what it says on the tin' ...it delivers the goods... And I'll award it a generous 7.5/10 for overall gameplay!

However if you want to read harsher reviews (and also look at some great CD-OX video) you can do so here, here and here. For all the boring specs and details you can look here...

And remember people the best review a game can get is the one you give it... If you are unsure of a current game rent it... A duff retro purchase can always be traded at your local Gamestation for something you like better.

Oh and BTW I've just found out that Death Crimson OX is the favourite game of alcoholic flange flasher Lindsay Lohan! Who'd a thunk it!?




Good night dear children wherever you are...