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DC games that need to be remade on Wii

Sorry I haven't posted for a little while now, but blogger has hated me for the last month, only letting me post small topics until now, it seems. Last month about this time, I waited at GAME from opening time for about an hour and a half with a collection of wifes. Finally, the boxes were sent in. For the first time in Southend for a while, the Nintendo Wii was in stock. A whole twelve of them, in fact. They sold out within the hour, but I was second in line, so it was all good. It's the first console to really excite me since the Dreamcast, to be honest. Everything in-between was pretty boring.

The Wii is now sitting pretty next to the Dreamcast. Don't they just compliment each other nicely? These two consoles actually seem to have quite a lot in common, actually.

1) Most obviously, they're both white and sleek, very nicely designed consoles. They both also have a lovely glowing light when you turn them on (Only the Dreamcast one actually stays on, whereas the Wii only lights up when you get messages, which is quite spooky when the room's dark).

2) They are both the first time either Sega or Nintendo have stripped their brand name from the name of a system. The Dreamcast (with the exception of America) was only officially known as the Dreamcast, not the Sega Dreamcast, and the same is going on with the Wii, making it a brand of its own. Maybe Nintendo took a leaf from Sega's book?

3) They can both play downloaded NES, SNES, Mega Drive and Turbo Grafix games. Of course, on the Wii it's legal and you have to buy them, and on the Dreamcast it's not and you don't. The Dreamcast has the advantage of being able to play (some) PSone games, and the Wii has the advantage of playing N64 games (without its infamous fog).

4) They both can browse the internet. The Wii's browser is compatible with Flash and YouTube, which is nice. Setting it up is a bit more complicated than the Dreamcast one was, though, when done wireless.

5) They both rock, and dare to be different. So there.

6) They both have Sega making games for them, although in the Wii's case, Sega haven't got enough going for it, hence why I'm making this topic...

Moving on, I've decided to put together a list of the top 5 games on the Dreamcast that I believe would work really well if remade for the Wii, control wise. I may even consider sending Sega some of these ideas, as I'd love to see them get off their lazy arse's and make some games for the Wii other than Sonic and Monkey Ball. The Wii has the potential to be Nintendo's Dreamcast, and I don't mean that by sales fiures, but I mean that by just how pioneering it can be, but if everyone just keeps porting PS2 games over, we will never know.

5: REZ

While I can't see anyone (let alone Sega at the moment) pulling off a sequel to this well, the Wii remote would suit this game mighty well. Pointing at the screen would be your aim, and the B trigger would be the shooter, which you hold down than let go of. Pretty simple control then, but where the remote would be great for this game is the built in speaker and rumble. The game is all about how it responds to your actions in both of these departments. Even if it was just a direct port of the PS2 version, this would be great, as the game is pretty darn rare now too.

4: CHU CHU ROCKET

A no brainier, this. The Wii remote pointer could be used as the cursor, the d-pad could be used to place the arrow blocks, and the B trigger used to remove arrow block. This would be a much faster and simpler control scheme than the system used on the Dreamcast, which would make the multi-payer mode much more frantic and fun. If not a full fledged retail release, this could be a direct port with these new controls available on the Virtual Console (The Dreamcast cast is a very small file size). From a financial point for Sega, this would be instant cash as it would be dirt cheap to develop and publish online. Also, use the online features, like the Dreamcast one did, to exchange levels and play against others, this time without that annoying delay.

3: SPACE CHANNEL 5

Before reading on, watch this Youtube clip of a dancing mini game in Wario Ware Smooth Moves, followed by this YouTube clip of how it's actually played. Now, image this, but with Ulala on the screen instead, with the quality 'Simon says' style game play. Is this not a Wii game just begging to happen? It'd be the ultimate "look-like-a-tit-and-love-it" game. Rather surprisingly, no one has yet tapped into the potential of dance and rhythm games on the Wii (although Konami do have a DDR planned for it). No longer will you need to buy dance mats or press buttons, when you could just dance for real in front of your telly with nothing more than a Wii remote.

Imagine the game with visuals like this artwork above. How sweet would that be? It wouldn't be impossible, just look at Monkey Ball on the Wii.

What's more, a new chapter of one of Sega's main unique and under used franchise is exactly what the market needs right now. The Dreamcast was Sega at their creative peak, and they really need to start using some of the franchises created during that time more. You have a lot more properties under your belt than Sonic and Monkey ball you know, use them!

2: JET SET RADIO

While this may not seem obvious right now to many, I've thought about an entire control system for this, using both the Remote ad Nun-chuck. The Nun-chuck analogue would be used to move your character, and flicking it upwards would make you jump. Once you land on a rail, the remote could be titled left and right to keep your character in balance. The A button on the remote would be a new punch button, that will help you slow down the police.

But the real fun would come from how you spray graffiti. When making small graffiti while grinding, you simply use the B trigger if they are at your right, and the Z button on the Nun-chuck if to your left. When you approach a wall where you want to make a big graffiti, both the remote and Nun-Chuck become left and right spray cans. That's right, two cans at the same time. Instead of the Dreamcast games' analogue rotating, patterns and shapes will be displayed on the screen which you have to create using either the left or right cans, or both at the same time. I've even made a mock up above.

The Wii is capable of better graphics than an X-Box, so a leap in graphics from JSRF would be no problem. We don't want realism though, Jet Set Radio (like a lot of the games in this chart) is all about style. Forget the futuristic anime style of JSRF, go back to the more cartoon-y style of the Dreamcast original, then take that cartoony-ness up to a new level. How about making everything bouncier, like an old Betty Boop cartoon? This is probably just a cartoon fanatic talking here, but I would really like to see more games really attempt to be cartoon-y, like Florigan Bros and Wind Waker, and Jet Set Radio could be a good place to start. While the other systems are trying to push for the most life like graphics, the Wii could be all about artistic style.

Speaking of which, this may be just me, but I wanna see a game use the fish eye lens effect that was being used in the canceled Sonc X-Theme. maybe Jet Set radio on the Wii could take advantage of it? Distorted perspectives would be very funky.

1: SAMBA DE AMIGO

This should of been obvious from the start. As soon as the controls were revealed for the Wii, this was one of the first games I thought would work for the system. hell, this game is perfect for the Wii. It simply must be done. Not only would the controls be exactly the same, but they may actually be more accurate with the Wii remote if done right. Due to it's high price of the maracas and rarity of the games, not many people got to experience Samba De Amigo, but on the Wii the game could be easily released as a standard £35-40 game that any one could play with the Wii remote. Even if they just directly port the game it could be a hundred times more popular than it ever got the chance to be on the Dreamcast.

While there's nothing quite as daft as shaking two bright red plastic maracas about, a Wii mote and a Nunchuck, or even two Wii motes so you don't get that pesky wire, would be the next best thing. Wih these, the game could be played exactly how it was on the Dreamcast. The built in speaker on the Wii mote could recreate the rattle of the maracas. Take the control system from Ver.2000, all the songs from the Dreamcast games, add bunch of new songs, and possibly even include down-loadable extra songs, as well as a bunch of mini games, and you already have the perfect follow up.

Simply put, Sega could have the new Guitar Hero on their hands with this. The Wii has given them the perfect opportunity to see the full potential of this forgotten franchise. If Sega really want to be seen as a great game developer again, they need to stop publishing out sourced crap and retro collections and make real games again (I won't even go into the recent Sonic 360 disaster). This one would hardly even take a lot of work to develop, and could be an instant profit for the flawing company. Three words, Sega: MAKE. IT. HAPPEN.

The Dreamcast Kid

This is a story I found whilst browsing for Dreamcast stuff on the Internet... It made me smile!

"Last night I got a visit from one of my favorite customers, the Dreamcast kid. Let me see if I can adequately put to words what this youngster is about:To start he's about 9-10 years old. To understand his personality, you need to feed a child that age a large amount of crack, then give him a six pack of Red Bull, a giant size Hershey bar, a 2-liter of Coke, and a bottle of maple syrup to wash it all down with. Yes, he's that hyper. There are two people browsing the store, and he opens the door and bolts in, cutting through the couple like a linebacker and saying "scuse me" after getting 5 steps past them. He's now at the back wall, literally bouncing up and down looking through the retrogaming racks. He then runs up to the counter and starts yelling at me "do you have any Sega Dreamcasts in?" No, I tell him. "Do you have any Sega Dreamcast VMUs?" No, I tell him, to which he then comes around the counter and points at a pile of memory cards I have waiting to be put out. "There's one! There's one!" Actually it's a N-64 rumble pack, but he swears it's a VMU. "Do you have any Sega Dreamcast power packs? I need one." No, I tell him, only a handful of Dreamcast games back on the wall.Then he does a few more laps around the store...and by now his dad comes in. His dad actualy buys something, but I can't remember what it was, becasue for the whole rest of the time the kid just rapid-fires questions at me, one right after another. "Is that a Plasma TV?""When's Halo 3 coming out?""Do you have any Wii's?""What's your favorite Sega Dreamcast game?" (he always says SEGA Dreamcast)."Can you order any Sega Dreamcast power cords?"I felt like I was on a quiz show - he wouldn't even give me time to answer any of the questions......I fear for my life the day when I actually HAVE some Dreamcast items and the kid really gets excited!"

I recently found this on a website called " A Day In The Life Of Video Games" which you can view here...


It makes no sense whatsoever, but I like it and want to know more about this young man...





I actually think it might be Cartman from South Park, who has a thing about the Dreamcast ... This is a synopsis of "The Dreamcast South Park" taken from Wikipedia...

"The tooth fairy has visited Cartman, leaving him $2. He rushes to the bus stop to share his news with the others. He then unveils his latest plan. If they all combined their lost teeth, the tooth fairy will provide them with enough cash to purchase a Sega Dreamcast. However, Stan and Kyle have lost all their baby teeth, but not Kenny. Cartman tries to get teeth out of his mouth, but it turns out Butters has a loose tooth, and is waiting for the tooth fairy. Cartman decides to steal Butters' tooth, disguised as the tooth fairy, and places it under his own pillow to get money. His mother gets suspicious of the number of teeth he has lost, and calls the local dentist, Dr. Roberts. She decides to come clean with Cartman, and admits that there is no tooth fairy. When Cartman tells Stan and Kyle, Kyle begins to question his own existence. Stan decides that they can still get money for a Sega Dreamcast: they place a tooth under a rich kid's pillow, and steal the money.
They soon find out that there are others who are in the business, and they are taken to the leader, named Loogie (played by Richard Belzer), who has been the leader of the business after his two brothers. His business is keeping track of which houses his gang hits, and having them put teeth under children's pillows, and leave a note for the parents to let them know that their children have lost teeth. Once they have finished the circuit of houses, they go back and collect the money. He gives the four boys a choice, either they work for him and get a 2% cut of the money, or have their penises cut off. They choose to work for him.
The American Dental Association is suspicious about the missing teeth and money, and the leader (Dr. Roberts) concludes that the culprit is a giant half-chicken/half-squirrel that steals either teeth or money from children as they sleep in order to build some kind of giant nest for its genetically superior and potentially dangerous offspring, and has at least a mild understanding of algebra. Tom Foley, another member believes that the missing teeth and money are due to a black-market tooth racket that he has seen before in Montreal, but nobody believes him, and even believe that Montreal is a fictional place.
The boys get rather wealthy from the tooth racket, but Cartman decides to form their own group and make more profits. When Loogie learns about this, he decides to murder Kenny by drowning him. A fake news report goes on about a child named Billy who needs $600 for a bone marrow transplant, and has recently lost a tooth, but his parents plan to leave him the money. This turns out to be a trap set by Dr. Foley, to prove the ADA wrong. Although the report was a trap, Billy did have the said illness, and did require the money. Cartman and Loogie fall into the trap, but eventually get caught. Kyle, meanwhile, disappears while questioning his own existence, but soon reappears and alters reality, scaring the police, the ADA and Loogie's gang away. Loogie decides that the fall of his empire is a good thing, and ends the tooth racket. Meanwhile, Billy is saved as he discovers the "Tooth Fairy"'s money under his bed, and happily takes it to his parents."



I'd post some video but the South Park people and Youtube are being a bit shit at the moment... They've taken all the South Park episodes off the 'net...

Father Krishna's Big One...


You know, ever since I've been writing on this esteemed Blog, there's been something I've been wanting to show you. I've kept it private so far, because sometimes I get a little embarassed about it's size. You see, I've got a big one. Really big. It just keeps growing and growing. Now there's nothing wrong with having a small one. It's better than not having one at all. Besides, I've heard it's not the size, but how you use it that counts.... But now for the first time I'd like you all to see it. So I'm going to show you some pictures of it. When you've seen it I know you're going to want to get your hands on it. But I'm the only one allowed to touch it. I asked my wife, Mrs. Krishna if she wanted to get her hands on it, but so far she's shown no interest...What? You thought I was alluding to my penis??? No!!! I'm talking about my Dreamcast collection! So here it is in all it's glory....
These are my import games... Capcom vs. SNK, death Crimson OX, Sega Smash Pack, Samba De Amigo (Did you get a glimpse of my maracas???), Typing Of The Dead and Caution Seaman... Nestled in the middle is brand new Dreamcast release Last Hope!!!!

So there you go! It's there in all it's glory! I've tucked it all away now, and I won't be getting it all out again for a while... Sorry the photos are shit, but I took them all on my phone. Anyway, if you're confused by any blurred image then I will be happy to clarify what that shit is... Also sorry about the squashed up nature of the post, that was Blogger not me!!! See ya!

Dreamcast Supporter Wronged By Next Gen Bullies!!!



Long time Dreamcast Junkyard supporter, friend, appreciator of Retro consoles and hard working blogger Caleb is also a fan of 'webcomics'. Recently he found this 'tribute' to our favourite console mentioned in webcomic 'Punks and Nerds', and featured it in the excellent Hunyak Blog. I then blatantly stole it and posted it here! Enjoy, and thanks again Caleb...

Dreamcast Delights... Daytona USA 2001 vs. SF Rush 2049



It's difficult to know where to start on this post. I wish I could bring you some earth shattering news from the world of the Dreamcast. Some undiscovered nugget of information about our favourite console. A secret development overheard in the Sega boardroom. I wish I'd found a whacky piece of promotional mechandise or some video of a never seen advertisement, but sadly... I can't.

Instead I'll just bring you up to speed with my most recent Dreamcast purchases. Some good, some great and some on which the verdict is still out....


O.K. here goes... first off Daytona USA 2001. As those three of you who regularly read this blog will know, this item was on my Christmas wish list. The last title in a longstanding franchise by Sega, this game originally started as an arcade favourite that was experienced in a double car shaped cabinet, replete with seats, steering wheels and pedals. The best way to play was to sit next to a friend and compete against them, eyes locked on the screen ahead.



Most racing sims are either Rally based or Formula One style competitions. Daytona transports us into the world of Nascar, a sport largely enjoyed by those Americans who's other favourite pastimes include playing banjos, square dancing, going to the rodeo and marrying cousins. Basically it consists of loads of high powered super-cars doing endless circuits of a fairly uninteresting track at high speed. The biggest excitement in Nascar, is caused by metal crunching fatalities, as one car smashes into another causing a multiple pile up.
In Daytona USA 2001, you can race up to 60 other cars, and tactical bumping and bashing give the game a combatative feeling.



Tomleecee has written a comprehensive review of this game, which you can read by clicking on the review section on the side bar of the page. My experience is that it's a nice little title, but is basically a polished re-hash of it's Saturn predecessor. The graphics are smoother, in fact I'd go as far to stay stunning. There are a few new extra tracks as an incentive for those who are loyal to the franchise, but basically there's not a lot that separates it from the original arcade experience. The cars have a little too much 'drift' for my liking and I slide all over the track unless I slow right down. Bah!





I'd waited for ages for this game, which I ordered from Chips, a nice little independent game store with branches dotted around these fair isles. I payed £10, which although a very decent price tag compared to it's seven year old £40 release cost, is still a lot to pay for a Dreamcast game these days. I like it well enough, but I'd hyped it up so much in my own mind, that it was going to inevitably disappoint, and if I'm honest I prefer it's Saturn predecessor. Oh well!




Now having moaned about having payed £10 for a game, I couldn't moan about paying £2...
Particularly as it was for the most excellent San Francisco Rush 2049. This title is quite a rarity, a futuristic racer set in that most hilly of cities. This is a truly fantastic title, one which shows the true potential of the Dreamcast, fabulous handling, breathtaking speed and is graphically amazing...

A nice array of futuristic cars is on offer which can be tweaked to the players tastes in terms of handling, paint job, mannual or automatic transition and so on. Several different circuits are available, all with almost vertical drops, as your car hurtles through the 'Frisco' of 2049. There are a variety of secret shortcuts to discover which are vital to shaving seconds off the car's lap times and a necessity if you want to beat the punishing A.I. racers you are competing against.



By accessing the secret routes you can also collect gold and silver coins, giving the game a nice arcade flavour. Now, I've mentioned that the cars really fly around the tracks. The speeds at which they travel could rival 'Need For Speed' in terms of velocity. But these cars really fly. Literally! As you come over a particularly steep hill, your car can literally 'spread it's wings' and fly for a certain distance and of course, without friction the cars can move faster, again giving the driver an advantage over his competitors...


As well Single Player racing, and Practise Mode, where you can race against your own 'ghost car', learning track layout and familiarising yourself with the secret routes, there is a multi-player option where you can battle up to four friends. But it doesn't stop there. 'Stunt Mode' inan arena that allows you to perform jumps, spins, somersaults and turns to gain as many points as possible against clock.





'Battle Mode' sees your car equipped with such things as battering rams, guided missiles, plasma cannons, rocket launchers, and so on. Racing against friends is fun. Blowing them up as they are about to pip you to the post is even better! If you ever see this game, buy it. Scour eBay, Gamestation or whatever trade in game shop is in your area. You won't be disappointed.
Plus let's not forget the on-line capacity of this game. Let's not forget that this essential feature of the Wii, XBox 360 and the PS3 was happening back at the dawn of this millenium, courtesy of Sega, courtesy of the Dreamcast.




O.K. what about a £1 Dreamcast bargain? This little baby is the MP3DC. It allowed the potential of the Dreamcast to be explored further, and back in the day if you had your Dreamcast up to your stereo, this neat CD would allow you to store up to a hundred tracks in a personal playlist, meaning that the Dreamcast could DJ at your party...


How fucking great is that?

He Gave His Life...So That The Dreamcast Could Live....

Now those of you who are aware of my other blogging endeavours will know that I completely plagiarised this great website by creating the 'Saturn Junkyard'. No more needs to be said about this blatant inferior copy, because it was a cowardly rip off of Tom's excellent idea. However, it has spawned one wonderful discovery... That of the man who gave his very life for the Dreamcast. Introducing Segata Sanshiro, the actual humanised form of Sega's next best console, the Saturn. Yes this living, breathing, greasy haired ninjitsu LEGEND, gave up his very being so that the Dreamcast might light up our dreary worlds.
What you see above is ACTUAL documentary footage of Segata Sanshiro saving the headquarters of Sega Japan on the eve of the launch of the Dreamcast. Those eagle-eyed watchers amongst you will notice the familiar orange swirl, which allows me the tangential link to post this video within these hallowed walls.
But for those of you who, like myself are moved to tears by the heroic act of this great man, need not worry.
For at the end of the video you will see actual footage of Segata Sanshiro in heaven, with the baby Jesus and Buddha.
Right now I bet he's chilling out with such departed loved ones as Jimi Hendrix, Ghandi, Plato, Lady Diana and Fred Elliot. We love you Segata Sanshiro, you will live in our hearts forever.

(P.S. For a full rendition of Segata's wonderful theme tune, visit the other Junkyard).

New games, new sticks, new buttons.

It's been quite a while since I've posted here hasn't it? That'll be because last week was give-us-all-your-coursework week at Uni, but now I have some time off, which = quality time with what is currently the most modern console in my household (since I sold my GameCube, and haven't got a Wii yet), along with the new bits I have brought back for it from my trip to New York over the last week of 2006.

So how did I even find any Dreamcast stuff anyhow? Pure luck, actually. Th 1st day we woke up in New York, after pissing about with the hotel who had lost our suite, we popped down to Greenwich Village, our favorite area of the city. Unlike the Rolex selling tramps and bright lights of Times Square, this lower down area is not only a lot quieter, but has a lot of great unique shops tucked away. After popping into an small Irish bar for a proper Breakfast, walking down one road I spotted a sign about an import retro shop, with a little map of where it had moved to. For those who may be interested, the address is 202 East 6th Street.

Anyway, we finally found the shop, which was rather small but very well packed with potentially thousands of games stacked up to the ceiling, and an old Mario statue standing out front, that some Japanese family were having heir photo taken with. The first thing you see as you walk in is NINTENDO WII ONLY ONE IN STOCK BIG FAT BUNDLE $500, but as soon as you went around one of it's many corners you came across a wall with about 5 shelfs of hundreds of American Dreamcast games. Yikes! On closer inspection, about half were 2nd hand and half were sealed, but a lot of them were multiple copies of the same game. For example, they must of had at least 50 copies of Coaster Works. Basically, most of it was junk. I did however fish out 3 games I did want which were cheap: Atari Anniversary Edition for $15 (about $8), Illbleed sealed for $10 (£6), and Floigan Bros for just $8 (about a £4).

They also had a shelf of DC games behind glass that were all gooduns, like Typing of the Dead and Outrigger, but were all $25, which is roughly more than I could get them on Ebay anyway. Lastly, there was a glass cabinet full of Japanese games, including one shelf for Dreamcast ones, which were mostly games you can get cheap anyway, like Sega Rally 2, or games that were pretty darn expensive, such as Under Defeat for $90! Ouch. I at least got one thing from this cabinet, and that was Puyo Puyo Sun for my Saturn for $20 (£12), because I wanted to try out that import cart I have had for years.

The shop had a lot of stuff I wanted (including just about every good Neo Geo Pocket game ever), but they were far too over priced with a lot of their games, obviously basing them on the highest prices they go for on Ebay.

One last Dreamcast thing I did actually pick up was a fighting controller for $15. It's third party, but the only time I had seen a controller like this for the DC was one released in Japan by ASCII, which sells for a lotta money. This one is pretty much the same thing, but a lot cheaper. Score!

For starters, it is laid out just like the arcade stick, with the shoulder buttons replaced with the Z and C buttons at the front. This makes the controller very useful for six button fighters like Street Fighter III,. hence the name. It also makes it look a lot like the controllers for Sega's earlier systems, especially thanks to the shape and size of it. Example below (sadly I don't have a six-button Mega Drive pad to compare with, but it's good enough):

Also notice how the VMU sticks out of it. It has one slot, so what about if you want rumble? It's built in! Oh yes. And if you don't want to use the rumble there's a switch to turn it off, if you like. There is also a turbo and clear button, although I haven't tried these out yet. The plastic feels a bit cheap, and the d-pad isn't on par with the arcade stick for fighting games, Also, games that use the analogue stick only won't work with it. It's still a good alternative if you can find one, and also quite nice for playing emulators. Reconfig the controls on Smash Pack and you could have the excat same layout as on the original Mega Drive controller!

Speaking of arcade controllers, I now have two of 'em. I didn't drag this 2nd back from America, however, but it was the first thing I saw in the window of GameStation as I visited it not long after arriving back home, and it was boxed for a measly £13. The one I've had since 2000 didn't have a box and cost me £30, but even that's cheaper than you'd have to pay for one online, because they're so heavy the postage goes through the roof. This new one isn't in as nice condition as mine, but at least it hasn't rusted up at all like mine. Here's a photo of the two sitting together in harmony:

Elaborating on the games I brought back, Atari Anniversary is a complication of about 13 of their old arcade games, all with plenty of options and features, and a bunch of artwork and interviews to round it all off. It's a very nicely made collection, with all the games perfectly recreated. Tempest is additive as hell, too.

Illbleed is a unique take on the survival horror genre in which you are in a horror theme park where you win money for not dying, which isn't easy as they throw just about everything they can at you, from mad chainsaw men to a huge, vampire Sonic that vomits rings. I'm NOT kidding. The game has you keeping track of all six of your senses (yes, you do see dead people), pumping yourself with pain killers, popping to the hospital now and hen and even listening to a cassette of whales to calm your character down from everything that's out to make you jump. It's pretty hard stuff, and features voice acting that rivals that of the first Resident Evil, but it looks great for it's age and is yet another reason why the Dreamcast is the most "dare-to-be-different" console of the last generation. Well worth a go, I've posted a video to give you an idea of it's awesomeness. You know, there was a plan for this to be remade for the Box, along with Blue Stinger, but they got canceled, so there both still Dreamcast exclusives! HA!



Oh, and that purple haired girl in the trailer? You play her wearing nothing but mud near the end of the game. ZOMG NAKED CHEAT. Again, I'm not kidding.

Floigan Bros, as Tomleecee has previously pointed out, is absolutely fantastic. Even now, this is probably the most cartoon like in game graphics ever produced. You can cel shade all you like, but if you really want that classical Looney Tune look in your game, make it bouncy, which this is in spades. In a medium where everyone is striving for realism, it's takes real innovation to do the opposite and take game visuals into a direction that has rarely been done in 3D without resorting to pre-rendered footage (as great as those cut scenes in Stupid Invaders looked, it wasn't ingame). Gameplay wise there is a lot to take in, and Moige is always craving for attention. I swear I've played that high five game with him too many times to count now. It still is, however, a must buy.

Remember that tutorial mode that Tom mentioned? Well, thanks to the game running at 50HZ (which is a first for a NTSC game), I've recorded it and plopped it on YouTube for you to see in all it's cartoon glory!



With those three new American games added, my collection of imports is looking rather healthy now, and almost filling a whole row on me shelf! I can fit 15 PAL games in a row on there, but 30 NTSC, because of tthe thinner, regular CD cases. Lovely.

DEATH CRIMSON OX IN THE HOUSE!!

This is the only clip I could find on Youtube of my newest favourite game... It's frankly shit, and does nothing to actually show the greatness of the game. For a true reflection of the graphics and gameplay check the IGN link at the bottom of the DCOX post underneath... However the Drum and Bass soundtrack is worth a post on it's own... turn your speakers up loud and enjoy!!

Death Crimson OX Review


Well they say in this life you get what you wish for... And I wished for Death Crimson OX and I got it...

Universally panned in every review I've ever read, I felt undeterred and searched eBay for this coveted treasure.




In Samuel Beckett's frankly fucking depressing masterpiece "Waiting For Godot", the hopeless central charatcers, Estragon and Pozzo, trapped in a hostile limbo-like wasteland, resort to insulting each other... After exchanging swearwords, profanities and a variety of scathing comments about each other, the ultimate insult to be levelled is "CRITIC!"



"Yer fecking big CRITIC!!"

This was Beckett's way of replying to those who had poured scorn over his writing, because they had not 'got it', and often were so puffed up with their own smug sense of self worth, that they had missed the point of the work they were reviewing.



"Father Krishna!" I hear you cry "What the fuck is this? Some poncey, Open University, literary analysis, or a shitting games review for fucks sake?" (Ahem!) and to you I say, "Calm down oh reader...I'm getting to the point..."

It's the same with games reviewers.

Frankly I think a lot of games reviewers and 'experts' are:

a.) Up their own arse
b.) Overly critical of the genre
c.) Trying to score points with their smug sense of self satisfaction
d.) Very much in need of a good shag/An excursion away from their consoles and into the real fucking world....


















The game is a Light Gun game for fucks sake! A port of an arcade blaster! A mindless 'shoot'em up'! A lovely psychedelic slaughterfest, with a thinly veiled plot... there's no need to 'wax lyrical' about the finer points of frame rates, the subtelties of pixellation, the nuances of character or the profundities of the moral lessons learned throughout it's sub-plot...




Before I get any further on with my my soap box rant let's look at the (admittedly) poo storyline...
(This is the blurb off the back of the box...)

'July 29, 2010. The beautiful city of Saronica is destroyed by the mysterious SMO. Agents, known as Subliminers, are placed throughout the city to opress the populace. Survivors form the Resistance and fiercely engage SMO forces in battle. The Resistance is led by the elusive Lily, who also makes a mean dish of macaroni and cheese. (I kid you fucking not... FK)
Segue to Agent Kou Yanami, tortured with doubt over his employer's policies. he seizes two pistols from SMO's arsenal and joins the Resistance forces.His pistols are the Crimson, ancient super weapons,. lily attempts to shelter Kou, from his dogged pursuers but in turn falls prey to SMO. Now, Kou Yanami and Lily's daughter, Yuri, set out to free her... and blow away any SMO Subliminers who get in their way...'


So there you have it! Not fucking revolutionary, but not that much inferior to the plot line of HOTD 2 for example... Let's not forget, the game is about blowing away monsters, skeletons, zombies, robots and hulkng behemoths wielding swords... How much plot do you need? Did Asteroids need a plot ? (A lone ship in a barren Universe... Astronauts Chad Thwackerman and his latent homosexual lieutenant , Charles Blanchefort suddenly discover they are facing a hail of meteoric appocalypse... ) PUR-LEASE!




Similarly, the use of text representation of character's speech, rather than spoken word? Is that a massive problem?

Did HOTD2 scour the acting world for the cream of vocal excellence...HELL NO! Did bad voice acting affect the game? NO!

The graphics, whilst not the best, are vividly colourful and imaginative. The game has a good variety of villains to plug away at. Like HOTD2 and Virtua Cop, there are innocent civillians to avoid, weapon upgrades and 'life-ups' to discover. At the end of the level there are Bosses to defeat (one with a blob of shite on the end of his sabre - known as (LOL) "The Sword Of Stink"!

The one problem I have with the game is a minor one and I'm coming to terms with it quickly.
The shooting method is totally different to Virtua Cop, HOTD2 or Confidential Mission.
On my screen (though not on the video on the IGN link below) there is a moveable target. You use the D pad on the gun to aim it at your adverasies. Reloading is acheived with the a press of the B button, which means having to use both hands whilst firing... ho hum!





There are a number of modes in which to play the game, Mission Mode, Story Mode and Bullet Mode, the latter involving slaying your many faceted foes, with the minimum amount of ammo...
I managed in two attempts on 'easy' option on Story Mode to clear two stages, earning me a place on the leader board, and got to input my initials. Go me! Longevity of gameplay is not an issue for me, I like the odd game that I can just pick up and play, revisit when I want to and leave if I want... This little baby fits the bill. I won't play it to death, won't obsess about completion, or feel that I've been undersold as a result. The only two Dreamcast games which have had me hooked in that respect are Shenmue 1 & 2 and Soul Calibur (Mission Mode). As a devoted family man (!) I simply haven't the time to devote lots of hours to gameplay, so a half hour of blasting away at monsters, or a quick spin in a Crazy Taxi, are the sought of things that can provide a short burst of escapism. Plus I have too many games which I've bought and never played meaning I can discover a 'new' hidden gem at any time!

So, all in all Death Crimson OX is a winner for me.... 'it does what it says on the tin' ...it delivers the goods... And I'll award it a generous 7.5/10 for overall gameplay!

However if you want to read harsher reviews (and also look at some great CD-OX video) you can do so here, here and here. For all the boring specs and details you can look here...

And remember people the best review a game can get is the one you give it... If you are unsure of a current game rent it... A duff retro purchase can always be traded at your local Gamestation for something you like better.

Oh and BTW I've just found out that Death Crimson OX is the favourite game of alcoholic flange flasher Lindsay Lohan! Who'd a thunk it!?




Good night dear children wherever you are...

Dreamcast Half-Life

The Internet...Bloody Marvellous! It allowed me to procure a lovely Treamcast. It allowed me to discover this wonderful 'Yard. It has lead me to discover more about gaming in less than twelve months, than I had known in the preceeding thirty years... and it allowed Tomleecee to procure 'Vapourware', cancelled Dreamcast games that were never released, including Half Life for the DC.(See October's Archive posts.)

Whilst posting a sterling review of this game with screenshots, I thought regular readers might enjoy the somewhat late addition of this little video clip discovered by Deitrix... which has got my Dreamcast juices flowing.

As Tom pointed out recently, it's getting increasingly difficult to find stuff to post about a console that has been 'resting' for 6 years... But we'll keep on trying...

Oh and I will endeavour to play Death Crimson OX enough to write a full review sometime soon.

Peace out! Happy New Year!

Beta Powered!

WA-HEY! It's 200,000,000,007! Have a look out of the window. Look at all the flying cars, houses on sticks (left) and Michael J. Fox on a skateboard with no wheels being chased by Biff Tannen and his mates. Oh, and the Junkyard has finally made the Quantum Leap to Beta. Cool eh? EH?!

Actually, it looks the same as 2006 to me - SHITE. Outside, that is - still cold, still grey and still populated by CRETINS. And on top of that, it looks like blasting around in a plutonium and/or garbage powered DeLorean has had some adverse effects of Mr J. Fox's nervous system. Ho hum.

Anyway, I'm temporarily back from my quite hideous trip into the realm of the World Police, and thought I'd swing by the 'Yard to see how FatherKrishna and The Gagaman(n) were keeping the side up in my abscence. Verdict: I can see that they've done a quite stirling job - HUZZAH. Cough.

Much like a post of old, this diatribe isn't really going anywhere Dreamcast related simply because I haven't been able to get my gnarled and almost root-like hands on any DC paraphernalia for almost two months. I did see a copy of Evil Dead: Hail to the King t'other day, but I didn't think it warranted putting my hand into the pile of dog shite it was encapsulated by. Oh, and that Dreamcast towel I was harping on about a few months back is actually more like a flannel than the beach towel it was advertsied as. Negative eBay feedback, how I love thee.

I did, however, swallow my big, blue, SEGA-sponsored pride and buy a PSP a few weeks ago, and I have to say that I'm thoroughly impressed with the quality of the thing, if not overly impressed with the selection of games on offer. But why wax on (or off) about the PSP on a Dreamcast blog? Well, I also happened to pick up a copy of Virtua Tennis World Tour, which is basically Virtua Tennis 2 with an updated roster of tennis stars and a few new mini games...and that's it! Even the 'career' aspect is i-fucking-dentical to the DC version's - yep, even the pointless and infuriating way you have to create both a male and female character to train. Sheesh. Not that I'm complaining about the similarities - indeed, Virtua Tennis 2 is still the best Tennis game availible on any system. I just thought that, you know, Sega would be good enough to make Virtua Tennis World Tour more of an update than a blatant port. Humph.

Quite why Tim Henman is still required isn't entirely clear...



I suppose though, that what I'm getting at is that the memory of the Dreamcast is still surviving in the technology of today! That residue of the Dreamcast is still...still...CONTEMPORARY, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Furthermore, a popular clothing store by the name of Republic is flogging a range of 'fashionable' bits of cloth under the brand 'Soul Cal.' Ring any bells? I'm penning a letter to Namco as I write this. I knew that third arm implant would one day come in handy (cue canned laughter).


In other Sony related news, I had a blast on a "PlayStation 3" (or something) earlier this week. What happened to the cool looking 'boomerang' style joypad?

"Cool!" I thought when I first saw it, "A pad that comes back and hits you in the face when you throw it at the telly because you've been killed for the tenth time IN THE SAME SPOT..." Ahem.

No - they've reverted back to the boring old Dual Shock!! WHY?! Anyway, I had a go on Ridge Racer. Nowt special I'm happy to report...and the console is fucking HUR-UGE! It makes the 360 look like a matchbox. If the current tred continues, consoles in the real future (as opposed to boring old 2007) will come with their own nuclear powerstations. Or in the Xbox 1080's case, sold seperatley. For the price of £YourSoul.99

Oh, and I completed Blue Shift on the Dreamcast. Go me!