Four score, and several posts ago, I introduced many of you to the delights of the Dreamcast Gallery. Like a true web-based Indiana Jones though, I have been doing some digging around to unearth some more information on one of the more intriguing items featured in that very post: The Sega Swatch.

Contrary to my earlier postulation surrounding said dish-like device, I have discovered that it wasn't a prototype motion sensor masturbation aid - infact, it's something even more interesting.
It seems that with the Dreamcast, Sega not only had machinations to create the greatest videogaming device known to man, but also a sort of information hub that could deliver movie show times, restaurant table booking, online diary management and a whole host of other 'lifestyle' features.

Is that Doc Oc holding the pad?

HA HA HAAAAA...sigh.

How so? By hooking up with swiss watch firm Swatch, who were pulled in to create a sort of data-bank wristwatch that was capable of communicating with the Dreamcast console and the internet through the joypad add-on, and the console's internet connection.

Clearly, the blueprints and infrastructure for Sega's domination of the videogames market was already in place before the Dreamcast was flushed down the toilet - it appears they were planning on installing 'connection point' type things in cinemas, museums and the like so you could connect to your DC via the net - from anywhere!

A bit sinister methinks - but hey - I bet there'd be no 'terrorism' if Sega could keep tabs on all of us, all the time!

We could be living in a Sega created Utopia if this had come off - and we could have renamed Europe 'Mobius.'
10 out of 10 for effort, Sega. And 0 out of 10 for attainment, CRETINS.

Tell me more.

Also, as today marks the opening ceremony of World Cup 2006, may I wish your country the best of luck in the tournament. Unless you come up against the mighty England, that is. At which point may your soul be fermented into the elixir of the damned, and your body decay to such an extent that is is indistinguishable from a Donner kebab - That cup is OURS!


Animated AF said...

Thismakes you wonder even more why Sega decided to quit the Dreamcast, as they really did spill everything they had into it. I reckon they overdid it and ran out of money, myself,.

The only thing to really materialize from the Sega-Swatch deal on Dreamcast is a Swatch logo constantly popping up in MSR. Sigh.

Tom Charnock said...

You're probably dead right - the money ploughed into the Dreamcast, all the wierd add-ons, the R&D, the Shenmue games...jeez - I'm suprised the whole Dreamcast thing didn't bankrupt sega!

gnome said...

Hilarious post! Even though, everyone knows Italy will win the World Cup...

Tom Charnock said...


gnome said...

Sorry... I dared... Just a bit though...