This is just a Tribute...

I feel I have been a little negative of late in my posts so I will dedicate today's to being a little more positive. However when the clock hits midnight I'm putting Linkin Park back on at maximum volume and pulling out the Kalashnikov to take pot shots out the window at the little cunts who shoot fireworks at the house. That'll learn em.

Until then though, let's rejoice at the some of the marvellous examples of Sega-powered gaming that have made it into the Junkyard thus far...

Daytona USA 2001
The ultimate NASCAR game. I had both of the originals on the Saturn and was something of a fan back then, but it's so much better being able to race around Three Seven Speedway and be able to actually see the Sonic wall when you're more than 20 feet away from it (the pop up in the original was horrendous and not massively improved in the pseudo sequel Daytona USA: Championship Circuit Edition). The car handling leaves a lot to be desired, but for all out arcade style action you can't beat Daytona for thrills a minute. And the graphics...Oh God the graphics...Dreamcast underpowered? Have a look at Daytona then come back and say that. Cretin.

The 2K Sports games
By '2K' I mean NBA2K and NHL2K. The 2K2 updates were never launched in the PAL territories I presume because Sega didn't think they'd sell enough to warrant it. However, the original 2K Sports games really are spectacular renditions of their subject matter. I'm not a big fan of US sports (for the most part they don't make much sense...what the hell is NFL all about?!), but basketball and hockey are pretty simple sports to game-ify and when you add presentation like that seen here, you're onto a winner. Both games look awesome and the attention to detail is astounding. Commentary is very life like and there are lots of options to tinker with...I don't even like basketball but I play NBA2K quite often simply because it's such a good game.

Virtua Tennis 1 & 2
The best tennis games ever created and that's a fucking fact. Graphics are unbelievably good, the sound is perfect and the gameplay...well that's perfect too. Virtua Tennis 1 doesnt have that many play modes, but Tennis 2 has a full blown career mode built in and you can kit your tennis player out with all sorts of tennis based guff, from head bands to new shoes etc. As with most Sega games, the attention to detail is astounding - watch the ball boys/girls dodge a wayward volley or the shadow of the clouds create changes in lighting on the tennis court. Amazing stuff.

F1 World Grand Prix 2
This F1 game is, in my very humble opinion, one of the best ever made. It's not as indepth or as good looking as some of the later F1 games on the Xbox for example, but for pick up and play handling and tight gameplay you can't beat it. It's also got PlayStation advertising in it, but I'll forgive and forget.

Jet Set Radio
One of the Dreamcast's defining games. A truly unique title at the time it was released (since then everyone and their mum has done cell shading), and a true genre definer. The soundtrack is fantastic - I could actually listen to it while not even playing the thing...it's that good. In an age where originality is lacking in games, Jet Set Radio is a prime example of Sega's unrivalled greatness when it comes to new ideas.

18 Wheeler
Not a big hit with everyone, but I think its an often overlooked title. Sure, it's got a few problems (scruffy graphics, not a lot of replay value), but who else could make trucking into a game - and make it fun?! Since this came out there's been the apalling mess that is Big Mutha Truckers, but that pile of shite doesn't come close to 18 Wheeler.

There are a host of other titles that the Dreamcast Junkyard would like to give a special mention to and I urge you to seek them out and play them...and witness true greatness...

Space Channel 5, Out Trigger, Crazy Taxi 2, Code Veronica...

Just thinking about all the FUCKING KICK-ASS games on the DC is making me Dr David Banner style angry...can't control hands...things becoming hazy...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!...SHOW THE NON BELIEVERS WHAT THEY ARE MISSING!!! PS2? FUCK THAT SHIT! DREAMCAST IS KING!!!

Now where's that Kalashnikov got to...

Tomleecee: Big Game Hunter

Yesterday I took a little bus journey away from Manchester to quaint little village called Stockport (see picture). And a very nice place it is too. My main objective was to see if I could get a cheap coat as my current one is no match for the British summer - continuous torrential rain. As ever, my Dreamcast scanner was running in background mode just in case something good turned up...

The initial outlook was bleak. After nearly an hour of aimless wandering around boring twatting clothes shops, I hadn't spotted a single games emporium...and then I turned a corner and saw a 'Gamestop.' Now, I now that this is an American chain of shops much like our own Gamestation so I literally sprinted into the place with high hopes of Dreamcast-related bargains aplenty. Alas, after clearing his greasy mop of hair from his eyes, the oil slick behind the counter grunted that they didn't stock Dreamcast stuff. Fuck, Fuck and indeed Fuck thrice.

A few minutes later I spotted a sign that marked the entrance to the promised land: Gamestation! Guess what...1 Fucking Dreamcast game!!!! I shit you not. That is the first time I have ever been into a Gamestation and been shocked at the lack of DC stuff...they didn't even have a customary ball of tangled up control pads hanging out of a dead tramp's pocket like they do in the two Gamestations near me. I left, dejected...walked straight past GAME (the mortal enemy of all Dreamcast owners), down a strange alleyway in search of a Chippy...and lo and behold there was a tiny independent games shop with no sign! I slowly pushed back the door to find a Gremlins curio shop-esque interior full of Xbox and PS2 stuff.

I ventured in deeper and found the tiniest selection of DC games imaginable...however as the old phrase goes - it's all about the quality and not the quantity. You see, what greeted me was Virtua Tennis 2, Daytona 2001, Crazy Taxi, Ecco, NBA 2K and Sega Bass Fishing. I picked up VT2, Daytona (both modelled by my friend, Mr Scribblehead - he's a real hit with the ladies by the way), NBA2K and Bass Fishing for under £20. Oh, and a rumble pack thing for a quid (modelled by a Gamecube - a friend of Mr Scribblehead and a bit of a useless waster). Bargainous I think you'll agree.

Tabloid in Bullshit Scandal!

Now, while this post isn't strictly about the Dreamcast (it isn't...at all), I just had to share something I spotted in today's edition of The Sun. On page 63 there is a section on games written by a complete cretin called Jonathan Weinberg. His 'review' of The Godfather is about as probing as you'd expect from something that appears in a British tabloid and makes gratuitous use of the phrases 'polished gameplay,' 'blood soaked violence' and 'Grand Theft Auto school of gameplay.' It makes me want to vomit that twats like this are actually employed to do a job that we all want to do...but with no knowledge of games whatsoever.

But it gets even more embarrasing! Oh yeah, baby! The bottom half of the page is taken up by an interview with the 'Steven Spielberg of games,' Mr Shigeru Miyamoto. Apart from the fact that the interview reads as if it were copied and pasted together from seperate articles found on the internet, Mr Weinberg tells us that:

"Making games mainstream through innovations in technology has always been Nintendo's ambition - from humble beginnings with Space Invaders to the million-selling Nintendo DS..."

Er...WHAT?! Space Invaders was created by Nintendo? Funny...I always thought that accolade went to Taito. And naturally, there's no mention of the complete disasters that were the Virtual Boy and 64DD...

Totally Ridiculous Comparisons: No. 2

In the last instalment of Totally Ridiculous Comparisons, The Dreamcast Junkyard promised that the next episode would feature a face off between V-Rally 2 and Rainbow Six. This has been changed at the last minute due to 'technical difficulties' (i.e. I have as much interest in either game as John Prescott (pictured) has in a Salad. And no, that doesn't count as mentioning politics because John Prescott isn't politics per se - he is merely an obese Yorkshireman with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp). Enough of this dilly-dallying!

"LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!" (TM 348B.C. - Michael Buffer Enterprises Inc.)

Super Runabout Versus Charge N' Blast

Graphics

Super Runabout isn't too shabby when it comes to looks. The pseudo free roaming environment is a real showcase of what can be achieved on the Dreamcast hardware. It isn't as good looking as say, Crazy Taxi 2 - but then, it's still not going to melt your eyes out of their sockets like at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where the Nazis open the Ark of the Covenant. There is a fair bit of pop up though and whats going on with the damage models? When you bash your car up, it takes on the appearence of a scrunched up crisp bag...but not. Play it yourself and you'll know what I mean.

Charge N Blast on the other hand does nothing really spectacular. Everything is nicely modelled, but the effects aren't exactly "Oh shit - how good does this look?!?!?!" A bit like the Martine McCutcheon of games - you would...but stunning? More functional. And that's Charge N Blast I'm talking about. There are some nice explosions thrown about, but it all looks a bit Lego.

Winner: Super Runabout

Sound

Oh dear, dear Lord. Is there a single game on the Dreamcast with a decent soundtrack? Super Runabout is bargain basement when it comes to sound. The cars appear to have 800 gears judging by the FX and the music is definatley of the supermarket-background-drone variety.

Charge N Blast has sound? In the immortal words of the DOOM manual when describing the Lost Soul: Nuff Said.

Winner: Super Runabout (barely)

Gameplay

You can choose to be either the cops or the...erm..delivery drivers. If you choose to play as the filth (local constabulary) you'll be asked to carry out such real life police work as collecting ingredients for hotdogs, smashing into bombs in order to 'safely' detonate them, and beating up innocent black people simply because you can. Actually - that's a lie. There is no hotdog collecting. Vehicle handling is best described as 'vague,' as you careen around the city in an almost uncontrollable manner destroying market stalls and shops fronts. Quite fun.

Charge N Blast is really just a fancy 3D update of Space Invaders - your robot can only be moved left and right along the bottom of the screen while you shoot the big nasty aliens with a 'myriad' of chargeable missiles, lasers and water pistols. You can also use harsh language if you wish, but that will just make you look like a retard. Before you think "Hmmm...He's likened it to Space Invaders...it must be alright..." IT'S NOT.

Winner: Super Runabout

Longevity

As mentioned, Runabout has two different scenario modes which in effect doubles the amount of time you can spend with it. There are 'emblems' to collect that will open up mini games and the like. I've been a bit hard on Runabout - it's actually a pretty good game. The missions do get a bit annoying as you get further into them because tighter time limits are imposed and the vehicle handling is frustrating, but overall there's quite a bit to see and do.

Once you've got to grips with the abominable controls (about 5 minutes), it'll become apparent that you are actually wasting precious seconds of your life. Imagine the Dreamcast swirl layed flat and then picked up from the centre so it hangs down like a particularly disgusting Christmas decoration from £-Stretcher. That is your Mortal Coil, and you are hurtling ever closer to the end...until eventually, you fall off.

Winner: Life outside the window.

Overall - Runabout: 3 Charge N Blast: 0




So there it is, my uber-cool Dreamcast loving Amigos. An FA Cup 'Liverpool 7 - Birmingham City 0' style routing of Charge N Blast by Super (De-dooper) Runabout. But with the added bonus of not having to look at Steve Bruce's appaling excuse for a face at the final whistle. GONCH*!!!

*This word has no actual meaning.

Tom Cruise, please DIE.

Yes, I've been away for several days in a land of pink dogs, talking clouds and various mushroom shaped things. It's called drugs, beer and bunking off boring 'work'. Amen.

In my absence, GT2 arrived - so this evening I decided to bother putting it in my drive and it predictably worked. It's very, very, very good - about 26.9% better than the F*CKING BORE-ATHON that is Sega's answer to the Polyphony Digital masterpiece, Sega GT. As a 100% Segaphile (that is, looking through PUB WINDOWS for OLD PEOPLE playing on GameGears/Nomads and wanking off*), I must admit that Sega GT is still a fairly passable 'GT' game, what with it's tuning and build a car options...but it just don't compete with Gran Turismo 2. Sad, but Christmas-destroyingly true.It only cost me £2.50 and I suspect my debit card actually bounced before the seller could get my cash, so I have the sneaking suspicion I got it for free. Therefore, I'm not complaining about the polygon tearing and full VMU for a save file...

I also nearly bought MDK2 and Record Of Lodoss War today, but realised that they were both a bag of shit so instead got myself a Big Mac Meal. In yo' face Morgan Spurlock. Incidentally, Record Of Lodoss War looks nowhere near as impressive as this image:
Last night I attempted to play Army Men: Sarge's Heores without breaking down into a tearful mess of a man. I managed to get to the third level before I seriously thought about picking up my SA80 and shooting my commanding officer...

Lastly, War Of The Worlds...Oh my FUCKING God. What the HELL is going on there? Tom Cruise rescuing his brattish kids from a war you never acually see? Do me a favour...
The original was ABOUT A WAR between Humans and Aliens. In that obscene waste of celulloid there is ONE scene where mankind fights back. And we get twatted (I presume, considering we NEVER ACTUALLY SEE FUCK ALL). Have a word with yourself Steven, you fucking Hollywood cunt.

*Disclaimer -this has been edited due to moral outrage.

Doppelganger

I've recently been trying to get into Shenmue after a friend raved about it to me for literally 3 minutes. I've been giving it a chance and have discovered the mystery of the '3 Blades' and am now wandering around the picuresque 80s town of Dobuita asking perfect strangers where Sailors hang out. Hmmm. Anyhow, Ryo was being a pestering nosey bastard in a barber's shop when I noticed a familiar face festooned on the wall...It's non other than injury prone, semi-decent nineties Tottenham Hotspur & England footballer Darren Anderton!

Illuminati

Enough of this emulation of inferior consoles. The PlayStation was a fine console for it's era and some would argue an icon of the nineties. But now it belongs in the bin, so let's move on eh? Oh, and I'm in the process of downloading a Sega Saturn emulator...NOW WE'RE TALKING!!! I can't convey in words my excitment levels...the promise of being able to play NiGHTS on my DC is the only thing currently keeping my life systems active.

Elsewhere...
The lying illuminati controlled puppet reading the BBC Early Evening News (George Alagiah, pictured) has just gleefully announced that inflation has risen 2% for the first time in five months due to the rising prices of games and books. Well it's obvious from that, that George Alagiah doesn't own a Dreamcast because yesterday I picked up Space Channel 5 and Army Men: Sarge's Heroes for under a fiver. If however, George is reading, and does actually own a Dreamcast - don't hesitate to get in touch and all the appropriate corrections will be made.

Being recognised as the campest thing since the Beatles released Penny Lane is no mean feat, but Space Channel 5 manages it with ease. In fact, it's camper that Graham Norton and Julian Clairy doing a duet version of Penny Lane, but the graphics are amazing so I'm prepared to risk the continued ridicule of my housemates for the pleasure. And that dancing...Ooh La La (geddit?! No, I've not turned gay and/or French - it's the name of the super chic future reporter who starts in Space Channel 5, Ulala). To be honest, Space Channel 5 is nowt more than Parappa the Rapper with flash visuals but in contrast to Sarge's Heroes it looks like the best thing since sliced bread.

I could go on to say that Sarge's Heroes tries to be so matcho that it actually goes full circle to usurp Space Channel 5 as the world's campest 'thing,' but it doesn't - it's just plain shite. Here's a snippet of the fun you can have in Sarge's Heroes:
And the tanks dissappear if you get too close to them!! Awesome! Good job it's not that easy in real life to make a tank vanish...master magicial Lance Burton would be out of a job and the Coalition assault on the oil markets - sorry 'terrorists' - in Iraq would be a be a little harder on the taxpayer's pocket. But politics has no place in the Dreamcast Junkyard and is henceforth banished! FOREVER.

Bleem! Update!

I managed to borrow some PlayStation games from a mate...and they work...to some extent.

Here are some shots of Tomb Raider 3, Driver 2 and Metal Gear Solid for your perusal. Apologies for the quality - as I've mentioned before, my camera only cost £40 and you really do get what you pay for when it comes to photographic equipment.

Back to Bleem! though - it even runs back up copies of PS games too, although naturally some work better than others. Tomb Raider 3, for example has the tendency to replace all the wall textures with a plain white gloss untill you get near to them and Driver 2 has a similar problem. Die Hard Trilogy is perfect until you get into the game proper and it's just a mess of polygons and odd textures - although the sound seems to be perfect.

The joypad is mapped pretty well to the Dreamcast one - X is A, Triangle is Y etc but due to there only being one trigger on the tops of the DC pad, you lose the L 2 and R 2 functions. Also, the analogue seems to work with some games but not with others.

The actual Bleem! interface is pretty non existent - when you put the disk in and it loads up, all you get is a flashing Bleem! splash screen. You then open the drive, pop your PS game in and it loads up. Simple but effective.

I do have a list of games that I am assured work perfectly with this version of Bleem! (including Colin McRae 2.0, Gran Turismo 2, Tekken 3, Ace Combat 3, Time Crisis, Ridge Racer Type 4, Quake 2 and ISS Pro Evolution 2) and I'll be trying them out at some point in the near future.

Even though there are a few graphical glitches with the games I have been able to test thus far, it is pretty cool to witness a Dreamcast displaying games for a totally different rival machine. The graphics on the whole are much shaper and pixellation is erradicated, but I don't see this as anything other than a novelty - who the hell wants to play Driver 2 when you can play Crazy Taxi 2?!

But if you'd like to download of a copy and try it out for yourself, click here

Legal Notice:
The Dreamcast Junkyard doesn't know how legal/illegal any of this shit actually is, so if you end up behind bars just because you love the Dreamcast - respect Brother (or Sister).

OMG!

Just thought some of you would be interested in this...

Yes, The Dreamcast Junkyard has managed to 'aquire' a copy of Bleem! For Dreamcast. Not just the plain old Bleemcast! for Gran Turismo 2 bullshit either...It's actually proper Bleem! as it was intended. In theory it will play any PlayStation game on my Dreamcast, but for the time being I can't actually do anything with it simply because I don't have any PSX games! I'll certainly buy something cheap this week though to test it. If it works, you'll be the first to know.

The Dreamcast Junkyard: at the cutting edge!

Subliminal Mindfuck

As quite possibly the World's Saddest Person (tm) and also the caretaker of the Dreamcast Junkyard, it's part of my job description to keep my eye out for ALL Dreamcast related things. Yesterday, I spotted something else and here I present it for your viewing pleasure.

I was on the bus reading the newspaper (Daily Mirror) when this Argos brochure fell out from betwixt the pages:
It's only advertsing cookers and fridges and stuff so I didnt take much notice of it at first but after exhausting the drivel filled pages of said tabloid, I had a quick flick through the brochure. Page 8 was as exciting as evey other kitchen appliance stuffed page, but something caught my eye...Yes, next to the BEKO and Indesit oven/stove combos (retailing for a rather excellent £279.99 and £399.99 respectively, I might add) was ANOTHER DREAMCAST SWIRL! LOOK!So that's one in the toilets at a pub; one on page 8 of the Argos sale catalogue...they're everywhere!! Could this be part of a secret subliminal advertising campaigne by Sega? Probably not, but we can all dream can't we?
If you spot any suspicious swirls whilst out and about and can be bothered taking a picture with your phone, email it to the Dreamcast Junkyard and Ill put it up. The challenge has been set, my friends...

To round off these mobile phone based escapades, I was on my way home from the Gym earlier today and I happenend to spot this:It's a PS2 box lying destitute in a pile of rubbish next to a disused railway line. How apt :-)

Deathmatch Frenzy!

Due to yesterday's one-man boycott of St Guinness Day, I spent Friday night alone, cold and hungry. There was some solace to be found in my new Dreamcast aquisitions though - namely Out Trigger and Heavy Metal Geomatrix. By about 7pm I had stopped hyper-ventilating over the thrift-tastic price I payed for them (see previous post) and was in a stable enough state to play through them.

Heavy Metal Geomatrix
I'd never actually heard of this before yesterday and the guy in the shop told me that this was a bit like Power Stone but 'not as good.' Er...'scuse me mate - Geomatrix is freaking awesome! It's not really anything like Power Stone, but rather more like a cross between Quake 3 and Spawn: In the Demon's Hand, in that it's a third person deathmatch game where you chase another character around a themed arena and use all manner of weapons to win the round. These range from projectile weapons (like impossibly large rocket launches) and punches and kicks to suspiciously familiar 'laser swords.' Lets just pray for Capcom's sake that a certain Mr Lucas doesnt get to play this. But what the hell am I saying? As if - even in the infinitesimaly small chance he did, he'd probably be too busy wiping his arse on Rembrandts to care.

Geomatrix has amazing graphics by the way, and that soundtrack...boodiful. Capcom - you've scored with this one guys. Just one gripe though - the arenas are a tad small...but thats just me being picky.

Out Trigger
No, not a game set on a stricken oil rig in the North Sea (for that see Street Piper Alpha...HA! - I JUST THOUGHT OF THAT!!!), but a game much like Geomatrix only this time done by the meastros at Sega Software R&D #2. That's AM2 to the layman...the collective genius behind Out Run, Daytona, Virtua Cop, Virtua Fighter, Virtua Racing, Hang On...and, erm Ferrari F355 Challenge.

You can play from either first or third person perspective and its actually a very accomplished true arcade take on the deathmatch game. Brightly coloured graphics, big guns and appaling voice overs...all present and correct! Top fun too...although I must raise a MAJOR gripe:

The keyboard setup cannot be changed so instead of usin the W, A, S and D keys to move (like you do in pretty much every shoot 'em up ever created), you have to use the frigging arrow keys! Disgraceful - especially when you're trying to balance the keyboard on your knee. Why Sega, eh?! Why you fuckin' wit us?! Shit, dawg...etc.
Now, In retaliation to Guinness's blatant bastardisation of a genuine Patron Saint's day, I'm off to drink a firkin of The Cream of Manchester.

50 Today!

You may recall a few weeks ago that I told fanciful stories of a not-to-distant land that goes by the name of 'Salford.' Tis a strange place full of rat faced children who roam the destitute and derelict streets looking for elderly people to harass; and drunken louts who enjoy nothing more than throwing bricks at you if you look in their general direction. It's also home to the mighty Manchester United, so it's not all bad.

Anyhow, today I made a return trip to seek out that branch of Gamestation that somehow manages to always have an abundance of the rarest Dreamcast games on the planet. I was not dissapointed. Not only did they have three (yes, THREE!) boxed copies of Shenmue 2 - all in mint condition I might add, but they also had a superlative selection of other games for sale at hideously fair prices. Not wanting to break into my weekend beer money stash, I limited myself to spending only £10 - but ended up going slightly over budget. Here's why:

Out Trigger
Heavy Metal Geomatrix
18 Wheeler
Virtua Tennis.

The total cash tendered?


TWELVE POUNDS AND NINETY EIGHT PENCE!!

What the hell can you get for £12.98? Not a lot in this day and age...but I got four awesome Dreamcast games, all in literally brand new condition. They had many more games too (Record of Lodoss War, Street Fighter Alpha 3, Jo Jo's Bizarre Adventure, Zombie Revenge, MDK2, GTA 2, Giant Killers...), and I'll be back there next week without a doubt. But the reason for that title is simple - today's buy has brought the Dreamcast Junkyard's total number of games up to a mind splintering 50!

Oh happy day.

You may be wondering why I'm actually bothering to write this shit when I should be out 'celebrating' St . Patrick's Day like everyone else. Well, I'm not. The reason? Well, it's nothing more than a huge marketing scam by Guinness is it? They can shove their disgusting brew...this gamer (as you probably already knew) doesnt fall for clever marketing slogans...

Jumping Jehosephat

Allow me to introduce The GagaMan, a 'stereotypical British wannabe animator,' fellow Sega fanatic and owner of an impressively extensive collection of Dreamcast paraphenalia. This is the kind of thing the Dreamcast Junkyard actively encourages - intelligent people sharing their love for all things DC related with other likeminded gamers...It almost brings a tear to my single, unblinking glass eye (pictured).

Without further ado, here's an illustrated run down of The GagaMan's superb collection:

PeripheralsToys

Games...

Games...

And more Fucking* Games!!!

but wait, that's not all...HOLY FUCK* IN A BUCKET...HAVE A BUTCHERS AT THIS LITTLE LOT:

And it continues...Mags, Demos, Videos, Posters, Toys, a MULTIMEGA!!...stunning.

As is the norm in these special circumstances, The Dreamcast Junkyard salutes you - The GagaMan!

And if being privy to possibly the world's greatest Sega collection isn't enough and you want to discover more about The GagaMan's artistic talents, visit his blog here.

*The Dreamcast Junkyard would like to take this opportunity to apologise to readers of a nervous disposition for the high frequency of foul language in this post.