Showing posts with label Dreamcast Holocaust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreamcast Holocaust. Show all posts

Lawsuit Imminent Part 4: Ker-azy Copyright Infringement

Went to the gym the other day. Not been for a while as I have recently discovered the liberating past time of long-distance road running. That, and the fact that 'working out' in a stifling mirror-filled room full of narcissistic, impossibly muscled grunting wankers makes me feel physically sick. Getting back to the point though - I went to the gym.

So there I was, sweating away with the rest of the cunts and when I could stand no more of the red-faced screeching buffoon checking out his bicep in the mirror next to me - I decided to leave. Now, you know how in gyms there's always a table near the entrance that is strewn with random pamphlets and leaflets advertising yoga classes, Indian takeaways, ultra-max beefcake shakes and all that sort of shite? Well, there was one in the gym I visited. And d'you know what? Upon that very table I found something Dreamcast related! YES! How fucking random is that?! Check out this flyer created and circulated by Somerset County Council that advises people not to use unliscensed taxis:

Notice anything strange? Apart from the obvious copyright infringement and image theft from the movie Taxi Driver, look a little closer. Look at the TAXI. Look crazily familiar?!

Here's a clue:

It's Axel's motor! And if you look closely at the back of the flyer, you can see that the photoshop wizards down at the town hall haven't even bothered to remove the 1NOM155 licence plate from the front of the cab. Interestingly, the helpful garb states that 'pirate taxis are unlicensed, uninsured and very unsafe,' yet makes no mention whatsoever of the shortcuts they take across rooftops, under the sea and through subway tunnels whilst expecting tips for not killing you in a multi-car pile up.

There are some slightly more sinister things on the flyer too - the 'issuer' on the mock-up taxi liscenses is 'SS,' and the driver I.D. has a little picture of Joseph Goebbels on it.*

If I were Phoenix Wright, I'd be on the blower to Sega HQ asap. Sadly though, I'm not a high-powered cartoon attorney with an improbable quiff. Sigh.

*This is a lie.

Next Gen? Bring It On...

Firstly - let me wish you all a rather late Happy New Year. I know we're 10 days into 2009, but I trust your Crimbo was good and your New Year piss-up was as much of a drunken, hedonistic blur as mine was. Anyway, back to the task at hand: Dream-fuckin-cast awesomeness, U-RAH!

Father K and マーティン's recent posts regarding the relevance of the DC in today's gaming environment really interested me, and so I thought I'd jump in with my own take on the subject. How so? Well, I recently purchased the sublime Race Driver GRID for a mere 20 quid from Game Station. Yes, I know they tattoo, starve and then gas Dreamcast games in their thousands, but I'll be fucked sideways if I ever spend a single groat in that corporate shit-hole GAME. Anyhow, upon sampling said 360 uber-racer, it became apparent that it features the world-famous Le Mans 24hr race.

There's also a Dreamcast game that features the world-famous Le Mans 24hr race.

After several hours sat in complete silence and dribbling into a cold Pot Noodle, a cog in my head switched position and an idea was borne: How does the 360 representation of the Le Mans course compare with the Dreamcast incarnation?

Wonder no more peeps:

Of course, I'm not a complete bell-end (only 76% at last audit) so I won't even contemplate suggesting that the visuals in Le Mans 24hrs are even half as good as those in GRID, but when you see them side by side it's hard not to notice that the DC's attempt still looks fairly decent. And it's TEN YEARS OLD!!!

So, to reiterate FK and マーティン's point - if Sega had had the resources and the PS2 buying zombies hadn't come and shat/vomited on the party, I'm pretty certain that the DC technology could have been en-vogue for a lot, lot longer than it was. Sigh. Just think of the games we could have had if the DC had survived for a few years longer...

Hopefully, Sam Beckett will one day quantum leap into the body of a high ranking Sony exec, circa 1999, and get Al to shoot him in the neck with a shotgun therefore setting into motion a series of events that leads to the cancellation of the PS2 project and ensuring the creation of an alternative reality where the Dreamcast conquers the world.

In other news, I recently visited Gloucester - a deeply historic medieval city now overrun by Corsa-driving tracksuit-clad 17-year-olds. With shit accents. But I digress . I was there to see a Feeder gig primarily, but took a walk around the main shopping district just to kill some time...and found TWO game stores within 40 FEET of each other...that both stocked DREAMCAST GAMES!!!

The City of Gloucester: an official ally of The Dreamcast Junkyard.

Dreamcast: The Novel

You know, it's amazing the amount of bollocks you can dig up on the net if you look hard enough. And by 'hard enough,' I mean trawling Amazon for cheapo Dreamcast games. During this morning's epic journey, I happened across this little gem:

"Wow!" I thought - someone's written a hard hitting novel documenting the rise and meteoric fall of our favourite dead console! Just think - the intrigue! the espionage! the blood, sex and tears played out against a backdrop of hardcore business meetings and mass redundancies! DREAMCAST - A NOVEL!!!*

Alas, upon reading the actual synopsis...

"What really goes on behind the scenes in the mysterious world of community theatre? Dreamcast is a look at the most underpaid volunteers on the planet, those who serve the muse of live theatre in the small towns and suburbs of America."

...I came to the conclusion that it actually sounds like a load of shite.


* Once again, I apologise for wanton over-use of apostrophies.

Dramatic Gamestation U-Turn!

Well, not quite. You may recall Father Krishna's post a few weeks back documenting Gamestation's outrageous (but unconfirmed) policy of incinerating unsold games of yesteryear in some sort of macabre retro holocaust. Imagine my suprise then, whilst having a nose around a local branch of Gamestation I noticed the tiniest of Dreamcast 'sections' peeping out from under a load of Gamecube titles:

This 'section' comprised dog-eared copies of Ready 2 Rumble and MSR (sans box cover) but also contained Jet Set Radio and Shenmue. I also found it quite apt that several of the Gamecube games above were ports of Dreamcast games.

And you thought mobile phone cameras were useless!