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Showing posts with label Dystopia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dystopia. Show all posts

Convalescence

Alreet, hows everyone doing? Seems like aeons ago that I was last here, but then with the mesmerizing skillz of The Gagaman, Father Krishna and Caleb all now combining, it's not the end of the world. Just the beginning, oh yes.*Evil cackle*

I'm recovering from a heavy night on the piss, that incidentally included a good kicking from several 20 stone Neanderthals (see left). However, this isn't a bad thing. Looking on the bright side of being bequeathed lips that look like a pair of inner tubes and a re-modeled (albeit slightly bent) nose, last night's UFC has given me a reason to lounge around today like a man of leisure simply in order to recouperate and reflect.

And by recouperate and reflect, I mean play Dreamcast games. But you knew that already.

But before I dive into my usual blurb about what I've been up to on the virtual field, let me first congratulate The Gagaman for his stirling efforts to keep the Dream alive. Virtua Tennis with a fishing rod? Marvellous, bloody marvellous. In a similar vein, I thought it might be possible to really shit in the Wii's cornflakes and play Tee Off with the rod too, but alas that idea was binned when I remembered that you don't actually use the analogue stick to control your player's swing. That and the fact that Tee Off doesn't recognise the rod as a controller anyway. Bah.

To be fair, I am slightly guilty of neglecting my Dreamcast promoting duties of late but hopefully this will change shortly, and the resurgence is clearly noteable in the recent purchases made by my good self that have totalled nearly TWENTY QUID in recent days. Yes, £20 on DC related software. Shocking innit?

Several months of no buying action at all, and now this:

Head Hunter
The Rt. Hon. Father Krishna MBE waxed lyrical about Jack Wade's near future adventure several posts ago, I know, but let me emphasize just how good this third person adventure really is. Want stealthy sections? want fucking amazing shootouts? want a hair raising orchestral - almost Hollywood quality - soundtrack? want mind-melting, Dreamcast-pushing graphics? want GTA-style motorbike sections that make you tear your already thinning hair out? Then go out RIGHT NOW and get hold of a copy of Head Hunter. Unlike anything else on the console, Head Hunter is, for me at least, one of the highlights of the Dreamcast's catalogue and stands out due to it's outstanding production qualities

The whole package is just so well done - from the newscast style sections that move the story along, to the cutscenes and voice acting, to the loading screens that show mock-up adverts for in game fictional products from the sinister BioTech Corp., everything about Headhunter is silky. Unfortunaltey, Head Hunter is a PAL-only release (as I'm sure we've mentioned several thousand times in the past), so if you're not from Europe you're gonna probably have a hard time getting a copy, but you'd be advised to at least try to do so. Brill. And, again, sorry for banging on about a game Father Krishna spouted about earlier...it's just, y'know, FUCKING AWESOME.

Championship Surfer
Oh God. What the fucking hell is this shit?! I got it free with Headhunter granted, but Christ almighty - this dirge should never have been allowed to see the light of day. Well, maybe a really crap cloudy day, with thunder and brimstone and shit falling from the heavens. As you can probably tell, I don't really rate Championship Surfer. I'm all for trying a new style of game; we'd never have gotten NiGHTS if nobody ever tried new stuff...but Championship Surfer ain't NiGHTS. It's a lorry-load of decaying pig cadavers covered in puss from the ulcers of a million bed-ridden pensioners' legs. Basically, you pick your gnarly surf dude (cretin)...and do some surfing. On waves that look like they're made of Lego. Yep, Champo is yet another Dreamcast game that features water effects that Wave Race 64 laughs in the face of. How dare Krome Studios try to palm these waves off on us! Look at them!

Sorry about that. Got a bit carried away there. Of course, good graphics don't make a game (as PS3 owners will vouch), but when the graphics consist almost completely of water...surely it's a good idea to make them look something like water? Not fucking blue tack. Shit me, the water in fucking Dead or Alive 2 looks better than the wet stuff in Championship Surfer...and that's a fucking fighting game!!!

Oh, and the rest of it's just as pathetic as the waves. Just in case you were wondering.

Sonic Adventure 2
Yay! We all love Sonic, and y'know, he loves us too. Sonic Adventure 2 is the sequel to...er...Sonic Adventure and features more of the same really. You get to bomb around as Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and a few other characters collecting rings and generally kicking Robotinik's arse. Cool. One thing bothers me though. Why, if he's so good with a screw driver, doesn't Robotnik create a robot that doesn't fall to bits when a hedgehog jumps on it? Trial and fucking error my man. He's had about NINE freaking Sonic games before SA2 to figure that out, do a bit of Q&A and iron out the technical difficulties. Sheesh.

That niggle aside, SA2 is a wicked little game - a true showcase of the DC's technical capabilities. The visuals are excellent and the music, much as it pains me to say, is also rather good. A Dreamcast-ignorant mate of mine was round while I was playing Headhunter and then Sonic Adventure 2 and upon seeing the graphics being displayed couldn't believe that the DC was released 8 years ago. So that must surely go some way to explain how good these games look, even today.

But then I put Championship Surfer on and the magic was lost. DAMN THAT SHIT TO HELL!!!
I almost converted one of the ignorant and opened his mind, only to be foiled by the dystopian powers of Championship Surfer. Speaking of dystopian powers, my face hurts again so I'm off to swill down half a box of paracetamol with an 8 pack of Guinness.

And a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Oh, and don't forget to get those Fission rods out of the cupboard for a quick game of Virtua Tennis, y'hear?!