Everything isn't Illuminated

Last week I made some very bold claims about (maybe) having discovered a new Dreamcast input method, similar to the Soul Calibur fishing rod malarkey. It's taken until now for me to try my theory and realise, like most of you will probably tell me via the comments function, that it was a fanciful and brave research project, but one that was ultimatley flawed due to being fucking ridiculous. It's like this:

While playing Confidential Mission I inadvertantly shot the 'CMF Headquarters' option on the title screen. For the uninitiated, this is the option that dumps you out of the game and tells the console to connect to the Hitmaker website. With my Dreamcast unconnected to the net and the option to do so dead in the water due to my somewhat overpowering lack of interest in the DC's internet capacity, the game loaded up the 'hub' screen for Confidential Mission's web pages - with a pointer on the screen. Imagine my idiotic delight when I discovered I could move the pointer around with the gun and select stuff by firing at it! My eyes glazed over and a smile usually reserved for inmates at Arkham Asylum crept across my face - for somewhere deep inside the shrivelled walnut I laughingly call a brain, a cog turned and a light bulb blazed into illumination:

"If the lightgun can register as a mouse-type device," I thought, "maybe I can use it as a pointer in OTHER GAMES!"

And so the touch paper was lit, an idea was formed...and then I did nothing. For a week. Because I couldn't be bothered. But yesterday I mustered the mental strength to dig out Quake 3 Arena and Outtrigger (I'm still convinced that should be two words, btw), loaded them up, and attempted to play them using a Keyboard and Lightgun set up!

Alas, it didn't work - but, just imagine how cool it could have been! Another Dreamcast shaped punch in the eye for the Wii. I had visions of controlling movement with the keys and aiming around with the gun: INSPIRED! Both have net options and stuff, and are mouse compatible so theoretically...you get the idea.

But it failed, and with hindsight it's not hard to see why. PLEASE NOTE: All smug/smart-arsed/stating the fucking obvious comments will be ignored with extreme prejudice. Cough.

Apart from that, this week has also seen me usher several new items into the 'Yard's ever growing collective...erm...collection:

A Fission Fishing Rod
Bought for the bargain price of 5.95 from an independant games shop in Stockport, the Fission Fishing Rod is perfect for, well, Sega Bass Fishing. Not the biggest fan of fishing I must admit, but it's a great curio. Not new to the Yard by any means - The Gagaman's aforementioned Soul Calibur stuff has given the rod as much attention as it probably warrants, but it's still great. Oh, and it was boxed in nearly perfect condition, so that's nice.

Shadowman
Got this off eBay for about 70p. Bit of a mixed bag really, this Dreamcast port. I originally played it on the N64 some 7-8 years ago and was awe-struck by the great visuals (with the Expansion Pak) and very un-Nintendoish story line (voodoo, murderers, violence etc). However, this Dreamcast version fails to impress really. For a start, Acclaim have taken out the brilliant menu music (why?!) and the graphics just don't do the system any kind of justice as it's little more than a direct port of the N64 game, albeit one with a higher resolution. The game engine seems to jerk about quite a bit as the console accesses the the disk, too. A bit of a dodgy one, if truth be told. If you really must play a dark, sinister adventure - go for Soul Reaver. And yes, these really are the lowest quality screenshots on the net:


Maken X
Very wierd. It's one of only a handful of story driven FPS games on the Dreamcast (Infact, only smelly old Soldier of Fortune springs to mind as another non-deathmatch FPS) but doesnt really feature any guns - just swords. The story is a bit fucked up and revolves around an ugly as sin AI creature that lives inside a sword (!) and you have to travel around various stages 'brain jacking' peeps and kicking ass with combinations of jumping about and stabbing them. It gets a bit dull after a while, but it looks really good and is one of the rarer DC titles floating about at the mo. All in all, a fairly decent game - and I only paid a fiver for it.


Scart Lead
Not a major haul, I know. But it's summat I've been looking for for ages: the standard RF cable is horse-shit and VGA boxes are ridiculously overpriced. So Scart is the answer and it does what it says on the tin. Simple.

I wonder if I can play Maken X with the Fishing Rod like a sword?! Red Steel? Pah! On second thoughts...

...that's enough random bollocks. For now at least.

9 comments:

The GagaMan(n) said...

Ooh, I like the idea of browsing the internet with a GUN. Nice find! Wish I had discovered it back when I had my DC online XD

Son_et_lumiere said...

Have you got an arcade stick? You should do something crazy like play things...that aren't fighters...with it. Or something like so.

fatherkrishna said...

Have been waiting somewat intrigued since the Confidential Mission post to see what revelations you had in store.
Shame the theory never worked out. Despite having a more than adequate broadband connection, I am right up for seeng the DC's Internet ability simply because in its glory days I was messing about on the PS2 in rare ventures aay from my still loved Saturn. How I regret not buying into the Dc back then. Still, if I had, would it still hold the joy that i am getting in rerospect from it now?
Need to get the relevant lead to plug into the DC and phoneline. Is it just a regular one you would get from a PC shop? Do you need the mouse set up as well as the keyboard? (another feature of the DC I have never used although I have two...)
You need a Treamcast TLC, to add to your collection... Ah, I feel a post coming on...

Tomleecee said...

Son et lumiere: I have no need for an arcade stick as you can only really play 2D fighters with them...and I abhore 2D fighters with a passion.

The GagaMan(n) said...

I have the arcade stick, because unlike Tom 'ere I lijkes me 2D Fighters, although it works well with 3D fighters, scrolling shooters and oher kinds of arcade games well too.

fatherkrishna said...

Does anyone know why my scart lead turns my TV pink - thus rendering any game unplayable without vomit inducing nausea and a severe migraine? It,s happened on three separate TVs....

Tomleecee said...

Maybe the scart lead is bollocksed? Or you have the fabled '3 Pink Tellies of Sasragoon,' which give the owner the power to control the hearts and minds of Men, Dwarves and Orcs alike?

fatherkrishna said...

Ah... I think it was the second one...

demurekitten said...

Just curious if anyone here knows how much a Dreamcast Dream eye goes for online?