Well, my house is now looking like Santa's grotto, festooned up to the rafters with tinsel and other shiny stuff.
Hackneyed old decorations have been dragged out of the loft, and I've resorted to crying like a baby at nostalgic old favourites such as "It's A Wonderful Life" and "Scrooge".
Whilst I tried to pretended in my last post that I hated Christmas, it was just a thinly veiled tissue of lies.
In fact, like the executives and software developers at Sega, I love this time of year! Now before you throw rocks at your monitor and beseige me with hate mail, let me qualify this frankly 'puffy' post.I've decided to write a Christmas list. In the hopes that the old fat fucker in the ill fitting red suit, might somehow magically pick up on it, and drop the whole shitload down the chimney. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it...
So sit back, as I regail you with those things that would truly make my baggy, bloodshot eyes light up on Christmas morning, if my festive wishes came true...
No.1 on my wish list... Death Crimson OX. This light gun game was a U.S. only release, and the only game utilising my favourite peripheral, that I do not own. (As previously mentioned on this esteemed site the others are HOTD2, Confidential Mission and Virtua Cop 1&2 on the Sega Smash Pack...)A late entry to the Dreamcast's software range, D.C.OX was released in 2001, pretty much towards the end of the Dreamcast's life. It was also universally panned as being a load of shite. I've not read one good review of this game since I first heard about it. IGN gave it 4.3 as a score...four point fucking three!!
The screenshots and video I've seen look pretty good, however... and the way I figure it, it's a lightgun game... where you shoot swordsmen, monsters and living skeletons... WHATS NOT TO LIKE?At the end of the day you shoot things , on your telly, with a gun. You're going to have a laugh, however crap the game is... Or at least I will! Guns! Shooting! Monsters! Fun???? No shit, Sherlock!No.2 on the list is Daytona USA 2001. I love driving games. My all time favourite is SegaRally- the original Saturn version, although I also love it's successor SR2 on the Dreamcast.
Having played the original Daytona USA in a museum-like arcade over the summer, (you can't beat sitting in a static car seat, pushing fake acceleraotrs and trying to wrestle a heavily weighted steering wheel whilst staring at a video monitor...) I then purchased the 'home play' version for my Saturn. That too was an excellent experience, thundering round each track, knocking other cars out of the way, and staring at Mount Rushmore-like visions of Sonic carved into the rock face.
And according to my esteemed colleague Teeleecee, the Dreamcast version is even better!
Better graphics, better gameplay, beter features... It's his favourite game, and thats a good enough recommendation for me... Onto the next...
No.3 Fighting Vipers 2! Again another title I've secured for the Saturn, is the pre-cursor to it's Dreamcast progeny. The original Fighting Vipers had very innovative gameplay for a fighting game. It's characters hit each other with items such as a guitar or BMX. Buxom lady fighters rollerbladed about before opening a can of 'whup ass' and beating the shit out of you.
The best feature however, was that if you knocked your opponent out of the ring, they would land on the floor only to be blown up! Although this does not result in lots of blood and guts, you do get the double satisfaction of delivering the killer blow, then seeing your opponent launched into the air with a bang!
I'm waiting for the Gagaman(n) to write a full review of this title, 'cos he was lucky enough to have procured it recently... (Come on Gagaman(n) put me out of my misery!!)
I can only imagine that the Dreamcast FV2 offers more great gameplay with distinctly better graphics. Plus I like owning both Saturn and Dreamcast versions of great titles...
No. 4 Recently discovered is this beautiful leopard skin edition DC controller. Can't tell you much about this, but I've always had a thing for leopard skin. In fact, I'm currently posting this article, wearing only a very tight leopard skin thong.
Hey! Now that mental image is a Christmas treat for all you readers! Don't say I never give you anything...
No.5 'The Divers 2000' Dreamcast edition. This little beauty was discovered by Teeleecee a few posts back... I've never seen anything like it... A complete unit with T.V., DC, Keyboard, mouse and DC camera for internet video conferencing.
They're as rare as rocking horse shit and cost a fortune... So it's unlikely that I'll ever own one... But this is a wish list after all!
No.6 Huge chested, compulsive lying, Big Brother contestant and sad celebrity wannabe, mad African ex-nurse, Makosi.
Festively attired, with a stack of Strongbow Super and a big vegetarian fried breakfast. Well a man can dream can't he???Before I go, can I also mention the new collaborative blog produced by Gnome and featuring the odd rambling post by me... The most excellent 'Gnome's Gaming On The Go.' You can find it at http://pocketgaming.blogspot.com/
Well I'm off now dear reader, worrying about how I've turned Tom's baby into a sad version of 'Loaded'- featuring the Dreamcast.
He'll be back soon to see how he trusted me to look after the 'Yard and I've turned it into a wankfest for lovers of large chests. Oh well, I'll probably be drummed off the team soon...
But until then, Goodnight dear children, wherever you are...