Death Crimson OX Review


Well they say in this life you get what you wish for... And I wished for Death Crimson OX and I got it...

Universally panned in every review I've ever read, I felt undeterred and searched eBay for this coveted treasure.




In Samuel Beckett's frankly fucking depressing masterpiece "Waiting For Godot", the hopeless central charatcers, Estragon and Pozzo, trapped in a hostile limbo-like wasteland, resort to insulting each other... After exchanging swearwords, profanities and a variety of scathing comments about each other, the ultimate insult to be levelled is "CRITIC!"



"Yer fecking big CRITIC!!"

This was Beckett's way of replying to those who had poured scorn over his writing, because they had not 'got it', and often were so puffed up with their own smug sense of self worth, that they had missed the point of the work they were reviewing.



"Father Krishna!" I hear you cry "What the fuck is this? Some poncey, Open University, literary analysis, or a shitting games review for fucks sake?" (Ahem!) and to you I say, "Calm down oh reader...I'm getting to the point..."

It's the same with games reviewers.

Frankly I think a lot of games reviewers and 'experts' are:

a.) Up their own arse
b.) Overly critical of the genre
c.) Trying to score points with their smug sense of self satisfaction
d.) Very much in need of a good shag/An excursion away from their consoles and into the real fucking world....


















The game is a Light Gun game for fucks sake! A port of an arcade blaster! A mindless 'shoot'em up'! A lovely psychedelic slaughterfest, with a thinly veiled plot... there's no need to 'wax lyrical' about the finer points of frame rates, the subtelties of pixellation, the nuances of character or the profundities of the moral lessons learned throughout it's sub-plot...




Before I get any further on with my my soap box rant let's look at the (admittedly) poo storyline...
(This is the blurb off the back of the box...)

'July 29, 2010. The beautiful city of Saronica is destroyed by the mysterious SMO. Agents, known as Subliminers, are placed throughout the city to opress the populace. Survivors form the Resistance and fiercely engage SMO forces in battle. The Resistance is led by the elusive Lily, who also makes a mean dish of macaroni and cheese. (I kid you fucking not... FK)
Segue to Agent Kou Yanami, tortured with doubt over his employer's policies. he seizes two pistols from SMO's arsenal and joins the Resistance forces.His pistols are the Crimson, ancient super weapons,. lily attempts to shelter Kou, from his dogged pursuers but in turn falls prey to SMO. Now, Kou Yanami and Lily's daughter, Yuri, set out to free her... and blow away any SMO Subliminers who get in their way...'


So there you have it! Not fucking revolutionary, but not that much inferior to the plot line of HOTD 2 for example... Let's not forget, the game is about blowing away monsters, skeletons, zombies, robots and hulkng behemoths wielding swords... How much plot do you need? Did Asteroids need a plot ? (A lone ship in a barren Universe... Astronauts Chad Thwackerman and his latent homosexual lieutenant , Charles Blanchefort suddenly discover they are facing a hail of meteoric appocalypse... ) PUR-LEASE!




Similarly, the use of text representation of character's speech, rather than spoken word? Is that a massive problem?

Did HOTD2 scour the acting world for the cream of vocal excellence...HELL NO! Did bad voice acting affect the game? NO!

The graphics, whilst not the best, are vividly colourful and imaginative. The game has a good variety of villains to plug away at. Like HOTD2 and Virtua Cop, there are innocent civillians to avoid, weapon upgrades and 'life-ups' to discover. At the end of the level there are Bosses to defeat (one with a blob of shite on the end of his sabre - known as (LOL) "The Sword Of Stink"!

The one problem I have with the game is a minor one and I'm coming to terms with it quickly.
The shooting method is totally different to Virtua Cop, HOTD2 or Confidential Mission.
On my screen (though not on the video on the IGN link below) there is a moveable target. You use the D pad on the gun to aim it at your adverasies. Reloading is acheived with the a press of the B button, which means having to use both hands whilst firing... ho hum!





There are a number of modes in which to play the game, Mission Mode, Story Mode and Bullet Mode, the latter involving slaying your many faceted foes, with the minimum amount of ammo...
I managed in two attempts on 'easy' option on Story Mode to clear two stages, earning me a place on the leader board, and got to input my initials. Go me! Longevity of gameplay is not an issue for me, I like the odd game that I can just pick up and play, revisit when I want to and leave if I want... This little baby fits the bill. I won't play it to death, won't obsess about completion, or feel that I've been undersold as a result. The only two Dreamcast games which have had me hooked in that respect are Shenmue 1 & 2 and Soul Calibur (Mission Mode). As a devoted family man (!) I simply haven't the time to devote lots of hours to gameplay, so a half hour of blasting away at monsters, or a quick spin in a Crazy Taxi, are the sought of things that can provide a short burst of escapism. Plus I have too many games which I've bought and never played meaning I can discover a 'new' hidden gem at any time!

So, all in all Death Crimson OX is a winner for me.... 'it does what it says on the tin' ...it delivers the goods... And I'll award it a generous 7.5/10 for overall gameplay!

However if you want to read harsher reviews (and also look at some great CD-OX video) you can do so here, here and here. For all the boring specs and details you can look here...

And remember people the best review a game can get is the one you give it... If you are unsure of a current game rent it... A duff retro purchase can always be traded at your local Gamestation for something you like better.

Oh and BTW I've just found out that Death Crimson OX is the favourite game of alcoholic flange flasher Lindsay Lohan! Who'd a thunk it!?




Good night dear children wherever you are...

17 comments:

henzenmann said...

Incidentally, I just watched the new episode of Retro Core, where Yakumo features Death Crimson OX, along with the original Death Crimson.

fatherkrishna said...

Thankyou for that impressively quick response Henzenmann and thanks for the heads up on Retro Core... To me any way a completely new discovery. Nice one!!!

gnome said...

A brilliant review Father, just brilliant and the first one ever (I'm quite sure really) to feature an Ionesko joke.

Bloody amazing writeup and quite an interesting if slightly generic game. The graphics looked fine. Oh and you did proove you can actually get your hands on all this quirky gear!

Cheers!

Thanks!

(Retro Core is quite great too, really)

DEITRIX said...

aahhh, so this is the game the wife bought you for christmas..?

Looks fun.! Like I said before- I can't wait for the Wii to release its gun and some new games... miss the guns!!

fatherkrishna said...

Ah deitrix and Gnome!
welcome my blogging buddies and thanks for dropping in!
Gnome! what is an Ionesko joke? I didn't even know the post featured one! LOL!

Deitrix... absolutely right it's my xmas pressie off the Mrs... and a damn fine one at that (both wife and present!)

I await your reports on the Wii gun potential... ;)

The GagaMan(n) said...

Colourful graphics? Yeah, I see a lot of brown and Grey..*kicked*

I wanna grab a copy of this myself, if only so I can dust off that underused pair of light guns I have. The DC really didn't get enough light gun games, did it? We only got 2 in the UK!

As for the control system....that doesn't make much sense. Are you saying you have to move the d-pad to target when you're using the light gun? That kind of takes away the whole point, doesn't it? Or am I completely misreading that paragraph?

fatherkrishna said...

No Gagaman(n) you haven't misread the paragraph, as it appears on on my TV there is a target on my screen. The only way you can kill your foe is to direct the target using the D pad. This must be done with the other hand from the one holding the gun, unless you have very dextrous and flexible digits!

Now, before the game starts, there is a message that flags up the fact that the Light Gun peripheral is not compatable with the game... and this bizarre aiming process maybe our punshment for daring to use Light Guns after Columbine... (which is why this particular US only release was not light gun compatable...) If any of you guys can pour more light on the subject I'd be extremely grateful...

gnome said...

Well, Ionesco -and definitely not the misspelled Ionesko- is Godot's writer, so an Ionesko joke is.. well.. you get it, right? :)

No light from here though... Cheers!

The GagaMan(n) said...

So...it's not a light gun game at all, then? You don't actually need the light gun for it? It's not COMPATIBLE? What a crock of shit.

Caleb said...

*I already typed up a long response that was awesome but blogger decided to eat it.*

I don't remember having to use the directional pad to play the game when I played it...that was like four years ago though. I remember I always lost the most points because the goddamn civilians refused to get outta my way when I had the machine gun...*Dumbasses* You have inspired me to get out that game and try again.

umm...I still don't remember the thing about the directional pad.

Anyways good review. I have long distrusted most reviews and such.

D2 for example is a game that I still like playing every once in awhile and I keep up with the story and stuff. Combat sucks ass but the game was alright in my book. (Except that it was set in Canada) And the damn pauses in the gameplay when you find stuff. But come on. People mutating into plant monsters in the snow. Pretty cool visual stuff.

I gotta write up a review of that game.

fatherkrishna said...

Right G-Man(n)! don't get your knickers in a twist! It IS a light gun game otherwise it wouldn't recognise the flashes of light the gun fires at the screen. Whilst it was not politically correct to be mentioning anything to do with guns in the US after Columbine (ironic I know) the arcade version as pictured in the post shows two guns resting and ready for use! Plus the game was released in Japan where guns were not so taboo, plus third party light guns were available in the US, just not SEGA official ones... All Light Gun games can be played with standard controllers so none are specifically or only for light gun use, just enhanced by them. I played Virtua Cop on the Saturn for years before I had a light Gun and still loved it... Don't let my poor reviewing skills deny you the chance of experiencing a good game...

A 'crock of shit' it most definitely is not. Besides I know you are a Dreamcast collector, so presumably you'll want it to fill the gap in your collection at some point... It's a shame you didn't pick up a copy stateside.

Right I've just palyed it again mid-reply and it fucking kicks ass!

The actual message that flashes up is...

"Peripheral at Port A is not supported in North America"

When the Light Gun is inserted a 'Gun Option' appears... However, this only invites you to 'Start game' or return to main menu...

Page 5 of the mannual is devoted to Gun Sight setting...

SO IT DEFINITELY IS A LIGHT GUN GAME!!! Phew!

On the options page you are invited to set the speed your sight can be moved at.

You know, it's up to you G-Man take it or leave it... as I said in the post, the best reviewer of a game is yourself... Having to use the D Pad is another challenge, it actually adds something different to games CM, VC and HOTD2...and it makes you hold the gun in a macho Dirty Harry way... I'm sold!

I'm going off to check the exact wording of the message right now, 'cos it may say something completely different to what I said and it might not say compatable

fatherkrishna said...

Caleb glad you are inspired to check it out! I would definitely give it a go if I were you... nipping over to Hunyak to check you this evening...
Thanks for the long and considered reply...

fatherkrishna said...

Gnome you have blown my cover as a literary novice by not knowing that... I bow to your superior knowledge all seeing one...

The GagaMan(n) said...

Ah, good to hear, it's just the pissy American stuff about guns that is making this sound like it's not a light gun game. Phew. It's just when someone says it's a light gun games then says you have to play the game without actually shooting with the gin like in your standard light gun game, you get confused. Sorry about that =D

fatherkrishna said...

Yes I understand that my initial ramblings were confusing, hope its cleared up!

However, the intrigue grows... The DCOX manual advises the shooter to point away from the screen and fore to reload... Just like Virtua Cop, Confidential Mission and HOTD2...

However the only way I have been able to reload is by pressing the B button on the gun.

Tomleecee said...

How thick do I look? If I'd read your review before commenting on the next post, I wouldn't look like a KNOB. Ah Well.

fatherkrishna said...

Tom great to see you there, could do with you dropping me an email if you get the time 'cos there are a couple of things I wanted to check with you... Cheers!