Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Dream machine. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Dream machine. Sort by date Show all posts

Stick It to the Man: Playing Games That Aren’t Fighters With the Dreamcast Arcade Stick

As with everything Dreamcast, the official arcade stick is something I have noticed has increased in price in the last so many years. Having been looking to add a second stick to my setup, I've discovered its average listing price on eBay now clocks in at well over £80 (close to double what I paid for mine back in 2018 when I finally decided I should get one for my beloved white box), although at the time of writing, it appears UK second hand retail chain CEX are currently selling them at a much more respectable £65!

Despite being a fighting game fan, I am the sort of fan that doesn’t actually fully understand the concepts of blocks, cancels, charge characters, spin characters or laser tappers. Okay, I made those last two up, but they definitely sound like the sort of things I imagine people on modern online fighting lobbies mutter to themselves as I lose my 115th game in a row: ‘this guy is trying to play a spinner like a lazerT, the idiot!’ Probably.

Anyway, I do own a number of different sticks - mainly for Xbox consoles, but also for some others - but not because I'm some sort of fighting purest as evidenced in the intro. It’s mainly because of my love for arcade games, which leads me back to the Dreamcast. With its focus on arcade conversions or at least arcade-style home gaming, I decided to bypass the merit of discussing the DC's fighters and go straight to discussing the games of other genres in my collection that offer arcade stick compatibility, which is normally indicated by a handy logo on the back cover of the game (thanks, Sega). However, this isn't always the case, I'm looking at you, Midway. Come see me after class, please...
I hope this piece proves to be useful for anyone who hasn't yet purchased an arcade stick and wants to know if it's 'worth it' for games other than fighters. Or maybe if you have one sat in a cupboard collecting dust, hopefully this article will give you the drive to get it out and give it another go, as it's frankly a glorious piece of kit.


Virtua Tennis 
This was one I was instantly drawn to try when I first got my own arcade stick. Its inclusion here offers a rare chance for me to give a shout-out to anyone who ever played the Virtua Tennis arcade machine that was in the Scream pub "The Pulpit" in Cheltenham during the years of 2001 and 2003. Unless you are the person who broke the lob button on the player two side, in which case I hope all the hinges fall off your PAL Dreamcast cases because you are a monster.

My first ever experience of Virtua Tennis was on said arcade machine, and I remember actually being disappointed when it appeared in the pub, as it was a replacement for my beloved Virtua Striker. I reluctantly had a go anyway, and then another, and then the next thing I knew, I'd bought Virtua Tennis for the Dreamcast (later that day, if my memory is correct).

The arcade stick is obviously perfect for this game. I’ve always felt the standard Dreamcast controller was a tad unwieldy for the game and that this is one of the very few drawbacks that the Virtua Tennis series has against it. But with the arcade stick, the smooth movement of the stick and the really effective yet simple amount of buttons offers a perfect way to play, to the extent I now want a second one for the rare chances I have a second person in the house willing to play Dreamcast. The arcade stick also has the added benefit of not causing D-pad indentation on your hand like the standard controller can. Surely that alone makes it worthy of purchase?

Final verdict: Get your stick on! Stick > Controller > Fishing rod (in that order).

Virtua Striker 2 ver 2000.1
I am overly fond of this game. Even though it has numerous flaws and actually plays a terrible game of football, I still love it. I love playing it on the arcade stick even more than the standard controller as it controls in the same stuttering and janky way that the arcade did. Oddly, the game itself would only let you use the D-pad when using the standard controller and not the analogue stick, so getting to control the game with the stick is a much nicer feeling all round, and is a clear improvement over the controller, as long as you can forgive the game for all its other issues.

Final verdict: GOOOOAAAALLLLLL!!! *ba da bum ba*
DIRECT SHOOT!

Virtua Athlete 2K
Those who know me, know I love track and field games. I can see that they are ultimately dumb and shallow, yet still they have been responsible for some of my best competitive and multiplayer memories on virtually every console up to the Xbox 360, which was when those kinds of games (and the people who’d play them with you in person) all seemed to vanish.

Prior to officially joining the staff for the Junkyard, I made an overly elaborate comparison of the three athletics games that found their way onto the Dreamcast and that was actually the first time I ever played Virtua Athlete 2K.

I was not overly surprised to see it had arcade stick support, as it is effectively a more serious reskin of the Sega Saturn great Athlete Kings/DecAthlete (originally of the arcades). So is it any good with the arcade stick? Well, not really no. The button mashing is more satisfying on the arcade stick due to the larger buttons, but the game is significantly harder with this control method. I tried to adjust to compensate, thinking this might be from my many years of using the standard controller for these kinds of games, making me unfamiliar with the arcade controls, but it isn’t. For the quick precise nature of this sort of game, the wider spread of the buttons and control on the arcade stick isn’t ideal.

Final verdict: Controller or bust if you want to go fast.

Mellow Yellow

I went to a gaming event this past weekend. It was Play Blackpool in...erm...Blackpool. If you've never been to Blackpool, try to imagine a slightly shitter version of Las Vegas and you're half-way there. Actually, that isn't really fair on Las Vegas - probably the only thing the two locations have in common is a worrying penchant for neon lights. Joking aside, Blackpool is a bit of a dump. No, seriously, joking aside - it is*. But I digress. So Play was held in Blackpool this weekend and I was there. And to be honest the event was really, really good. There were loads of consoles and arcade games to play on, and a few minor Youtube celebrities were knocking about too. Oh, and Clive Sinclair made an appearance (riding around on that three wheeled mistake he pulled out of his ass a few decades ago, if I recall. I'm trying very hard to un-delete the whole unfortunate sequence from my memory banks as I type this so please forgive the vague description). I also met a whole load of really cool fellow gamers and made a lot of new friends, which is always great and basically what gaming events are really all about. But look, we're here to talk about Dreamcasts right. Dream. Casts. Guess what? I got one!

Toejam & Earl 3

The main gaming hall

Before you reach for your mobile and start to look through your phonebook for the local psychiatric ward's number, I do already own a Dreamcast. How else do you think I managed to stretch this crap out for nearly nine years?! The answer is that I had a lot of help from some very talented DCJY team members...and I already had a Dreamcast. But the thing is, that Dreamcast has gone yellow. Very yellow. I like to think that a yellow Dreamcast is a Dreamcast that has lived a full life: a life of Soul Calibur battles, Power Stone multiplayer sessions and House of the Dead 2 marathons. A yellow Dreamcast has been out in full view and had beer spilt on it, pizza fumes sucked into it's vents and the weapons-grade bacteria of a thousand student hands smeared across it's joypads. That is my Dreamcast. It's been with me since before I started this site and it still works great to this day, complete with that bit of speaker wire still bypassing the blown fuse on the controller board. But as a bit of a perfectionist and also a collector at heart, I knew that owning a battered and discoloured console simply wouldn't do. Sure - I have the box, but that's besides the point.

So (getting back to the point), when I spotted a rather nice-looking totally white Dreamcast console at Play this weekend, I knew it would have to be mine. I paid a little over £20, and even through the cellophane that it was bound in, I could tell that it was a nice specimen. My initial impressions were confirmed when I was able to get it home and unwrap the system and compare it to my other Dreamcast:

Left: White. Right: Yellow

The modems show the most contrast

The images don't really convey just how yellow the old system really is, but trust me when I say that the recently purchased one looks practically new when compared to it.

I was considering putting a vinyl cover on the older system just try to preserve the plastic in it's current state but now I have the whiter one I don't think I'll bother. I understand that the yellowing is down to sunlight reacting with the chemicals in the plastic so I'm planning on putting the recently bought console inside the older machine's cardboard box in order to preserve it's colour.

In other news I have managed to acquire some new DC games in the last few weeks, One of which is Bangai-O; the other of which is Skies of Arcadia. As soon as I get a minute to sit down and play them both for an extended period of time, I'll be plastering my thoughts and opinions up here. Stay tuned...

*Disclaimer: No part of Blackpool was harmed or offended by the production of this post. And it was a joke, so there. Blackpool is full of lovely, friendly people, has a great nightlife and is full of great attractions. Well, the seafront is. Actually...no - it's a dump. Sorry.

Upcoming Dreamcast Indie releases - 2021 and beyond!


We're quite lucky to be Dreamcast fans at the moment, living through what feels like a renaissance for the machine -  with Sega giving a little bit of merchandise love to the machine, a proliferation of hardware mods that allow access to older titles, full HDMI support, new controllers, a growing collection of Dreamcast related literature, ports of Atomiswave arcade titles, and an ever impressive indie library. There's a remarkable amount of activity around a machine which is approaching 23 years of age, and we here at the Junkyard are embracing it with a smile on our face, a VMU in our pocket, and a dwindling bank account as we welcome the second coming of our digital dream box. And long may it continue!

The year 2021 is set to be the biggest - by some way - year for indie releases in the systems history though. There is a quite staggering number of titles on their way - more than 30 by some counts - and a fairly large number of those will be in our hands sooner, rather than later. Whilst most of you will have already backed the titles you've seen, there's a good chance some may have slipped you by, or maybe you've just not been aware of the tremendous indie barrage about to assault the console. Fear not, for we're hopefully going to set that straight today.

Before we list all the indie titles on their way, we want to make a couple of observations. This list only includes titles that are set for a physical release. That will preclude some of the homebrew software being developed, and of course won't touch on any ports being developed. We're also not going to include anything which is *only* based on rumours. As you can imagine, we have heard several of these! Furthermore, expect some *big* announcements of titles in the coming months - we can't say anything about them at the moment (we're such teases), but this article will be updated as new titles are announced!

On with the list!

Alice Sisters

Published by JoshProd - set for release early 2021

The first of numerous JoshProd titles in this list, Alice Sisters is a follow up to previous indie platformer Alice's Mom's Rescue, a quite charming little game from prolific previous indie developer Orion. Like the original, this appears to be a 2D platformer, but with the interesting addition of co-op mechanics. Each player guides one of the sisters (or a single player can switch between them) through a promised 28 stages, each using different abilities to combat the games puzzles. 4 game modes are also promised, and screenshots show a charming, colourful world, very much in the style of Orion's previous titles.

A DC release was hinted at in the summer of 2019, but little was revealed for this cross-platform release (a Steam and Mega Drive/Genesis release are also on the cards), but the trailer dropped by JoshProd in February 2021 has the game running and looking as charmingly fun as I hoped it would. I'm looking forward to this one, a proven developer, a genre we've not seen much of, and an intriguing co-op mode which could be very enjoyable indeed.

You can pre-order the PAL version here, the US version here and the Japanese version here.
You can also download the PC version of the game from Orion's itch.io page here.

Andro Dunos 

Published by JoshProd - set for release September 2021

Whilst Pixelheart / JoshProd made a big deal about the release of a brand new sequel, going as far as presenting a special event on Youtube for it's launch, the pending release of the original Andro Dunos went a little under the radar. It's perhaps not surprising though that this early 90's horizontal shooter is making it's way to the Dreamcast. It'd been rumoured for months, the acquisition of Visco's library by the publishers made it an obvious choice, and for many DC players, they've been enjoying the game via emulation for some time anyway. A decent, colourful example of the genre, it's become a minor cult favourite with some fans, and certainly won't be out of place in the plentiful supply of indie shooters the system is home too. There are possibly a few issues regarding how the emulation (presuming it will be played via emulation, like other Neo Geo ports from JoshProd) will work, and it's own sequel is now taking much of the attention away from this release, but it's a welcome addition to the library.

You can pre-order the PAL version here, the US version here and the Japanese version here.

For Whom The Bell Tolls...

Question: What is the greatest piece of video game music ever written?

Answer: The Justice Ray, by Hyakutaro Tsukumo
This is the face of unparalleled musical genius. Truly.
What do you mean you've never heard of it? It's Tsukomo-san's magnum opus, and its legacy is entwined with Sega's own destiny. Before we skip ahead though, lets start at the beginning - the very beginning.

Dreamcast Vs Wii U: Which Failed Harder?

Nintendo has finally revealed that the successor to the Wii U will be released worldwide in March 2017. This is good for two reasons. The first is that my birthday is in March so I might try to coerce my nearest and dearest to contribute some cash towards an NX as a present. That said, I usually don't get much more than a card written in feces/blood and a voicemail reminding me that I owe somebody a tenner when the anniversary of my birth rolls around, so I won't get my hopes up too much.

Update: we now know this console will be called Switch, so probably ignore the NX logo below. Ta.
The other good thing about this announcement is that finally, the Wii U has been handed a respite and the agonisingly slow death of the console looks to be coming to an end - euthanised, even.  Let's not beat around the bush here - the Wii U has been a bit of a disaster for Nintendo in comparison to past hardware releases, and while the system does play host to some fantastic games that simply ooze typical Nintendo quality, no-one can deny that the thing clearly occupies the 'also-ran' spot in both of the console generations it straddles.

For me, the Wii U was cursed from the start simply because it confused the fuck out of the casual market Nintendo was aiming it at; those people who bought the original Wii thought it was an add-on, and those who had Xbox 360s and PS3s were shown a system with a dinner tray for a controller and a bunch of launch titles that were already available (for the most part) on the console they already owned. Now though, Nintendo has pretty much signalled its intent by announcing the NX (or whatever it ends up being called) and so, just four years after introduction the Wii U looks like it'll be put out to pasture quite soon. Inevitably this has lead to forum threads such as this one, where the question is asked: which system enjoyed a better time during it's contemporary lifespan - the Sega Dreamcast or the Nintendo Wii U?
Source: ZhugeEX Blog
The news came out recently that it took the Wii U nearly 3 years to match the 10 million Dreamcasts Sega flogged in 18 months, and there have been many, many comparisons drawn between these two glorious console failures. However, we wanted to go step further and take a more in-depth look at the Dreamcast vs Wii U topic. While it's obvious that the Wii U hasn't really made a dent in Nintendo's $10 billion fortune (whereas the Dreamcast pretty much killed Sega), the question remains: which console pushed more boundaries, had a better games and excited the gaming world the most?

The Top 200 Dreamcast Games: Voted by you!


Happy 15th anniversary of the Dreamcast! The votes have been counted so now here is the final Top 200 Dreamcast games! Thanks to everyone who joined in on the voting!

Before we get started, some random facts about the final list:

- There is a total of 235 releases within this top 200: that's because in many case and game and it's sequel is one entry, and in the cases of a few, 3 or 4 games in the same series (NFL 2K, Pop n. Music) are one entry. The bottom 18 entries would have missed the list if I had not done this.

- Of those 48 were Japan only, 10 America only, 2 PAL only and were 11 indie releases.

- Release years are based on where they debuted.

- Of these 4 were released in 1998, 49 in 1999, 107 in 2000, 39 in 2001, 9 in 2002 and 20 in any year beyond that.

- Sega Smash Pack is not included, but Sega Swirl and Virtua Cop 2 from that collection are listed.

- I own 165 of the games featured, yikes!

Just a note: the article is a bit incomplete at the moment. All the poll positions are there but a few of the games do not have descriptions yet. I'm out all of today (in fact I'm celebrating the Dreamcast anniversary in style!) so I will be coming back to finish it off tomorrow.

So without further ado, beyond the jump is the complete list from last to first. Enjoy!

A Different Type of Football: NFL on Dreamcast

With the Euros just around the corner (for our American readers, that refers to a soccer competition, not piles of European cash...although both definitions have some validity), and with our finger on the pulse of the public as always at the Junkyard, what better time to look at one of the worlds most beloved sporting activities than now?

Actually though, the Dreamcast's 'round ball' football output is particularly laughable. I mean, there are only so many articles you can read which basically state they're all crap, with the familiar "oh why couldn't we be blessed with a PES or FIFA?" thread running through them. Instead, allow me to take you on a tour of the very best examples of a sport played in one country, whose very name makes no sense to those raised passing a ball around a muddy field at school lunchtime. Allow me to present, on the eve of the European Soccer Championships 2016...The Dreamcast Junkyard's ultimate guide to American hand egg, American carry-the-rugby-ball American football!
The England defence was no match for the Italian striker...
Unlike many of my compatriots, I do follow the noble sport of American football (henceforth to be referred to as 'football'), and when I'm not following my beloved New York Yankee Men or the fearsome Denver Buffalo Bill Packer Patriots, there's nothing I like more than to indulge in a bit of rugby-for-cowards in digital form (last joke, honestly). And my word - doesn't the Dreamcast have a solid line up of games representing the sport? A total of 8 titles replicate NFL on Sega's little-machine-that-could and whilst the quality varies, US gamers could at least take solace that none of them was quite as poor as 90 Minutes and it's butchering of our beloved Association Football code...right?

The Death of the Dreamcast in Press Releases

It's a funny old world. I say that not because I've just inhaled an entire bottle of laughing gas (I have though, anything to get me through the day). No, I say it because it seems that every time I fire up my creaking MacBook and open Safari I discover something new about the Dreamcast. Well, not new as such...but new to me and probably to you too. New in the sense that you've probably not seen it and now you will, thus making it 'news.' See? Not in the same sense that the shite printed on the front of any random tabloid is news, but news nonetheless. Am I rambling? Thought so. Excuse me while I open the valve on this gas bottle a little wider.

Right, what I'm waffling about is this: I found a website that basically appears to list the Sega press releases in a sort of creepy chronological order, unwittingly documenting the death of the Dreamcast like some kind of obituary locked in time. The best bit about this is that the website isn't actually online anymore and can only be viewed by using our old friend the Way Back Machine.
I swear this blog isn't sponsored by Internet Archive by the way - I realise how often I've mentioned the thing recently but it really is an invaluable tool when trying to preserve lost Dreamcast-related stuff. Stuff the average person wouldn't give a shit about, but that us Dreamcast obsessives find totally fascinating. Most of this stuff has slipped into the past, forgotten and barely ever looked at since it was written by unknown fingers on long-lost keyboards (probably attached to a P90 with 128MB of RAM), and due to hardly anyone having the internet back at the turn of the century (yep, that's technically what it was called) I doubt many people gave much of a toss back then either. Happily, I'm here now so don't worry - I won't let this rubbish pass into antiquity without spamming your Facebook/Twitter/Reddit timeline with it first! Huzzah!

Warning. I feel it is my duty to announce here that this post is quite text heavy, so if you don't like reading stuff (reports show only around 9% of internet users actually like reading articles as opposed to sharing pictures of cats and burgers on social media), you should probably skip it. Still here? Excellent, let's go!

Top 12 Disney Games on the Sega Dreamcast

The Sega Dreamcast's short lifespan (relatively speaking) didn't lend itself to a large number of "big" licenses coming to the console. Alongside Sega's own franchises, we received a third-party lineup that was - again, relative to other consoles - not huge, with a couple of noticeable exceptions (think Capcom). This proved to be both a blessing and a curse for the Dreamcast. It allowed the console to hold a rather unique place amongst its peers: it wasn't plagued by sub-standard licensed games, but was also missing some rather popular titles, which led to the console being considered a little more "niche". Of course we did receive our share of big name releases, and alongside the sports leagues, professional skateboarder and vehicle licenses, we did see a small but not inconsequential number of games that fell under the umbrella of the worldwide media behemoth Disney.

Many of Disney's licenses, above and beyond their big-eared animated rodent, are popular the world over. And, as long as there have been licensed video games, Disney have been publishing tie-in games in order to ring as much money out of their animated movie releases as possible. Unlike some of their competitors though, Disney has a rather unique place in gaming with a series of titles released, especially in the early '90s, that were really rather good. Far from being quick movie adaptations, the likes of Castle of Illusion, Aladdin and The Jungle Book helped define the 2D platformer age and have aged particularly well both technically and in the nostalgic memory of players. 

Disney's legacy on the Dreamcast is perhaps not quite so fondly remembered, but there were still some decent animated adventures. Plus, thanks to the company's subsequent attempts at monopolising the entertainment industry, these days the Dreamcast now finds itself the home to several Disney-owned licenses that are worthy of at least a look. Some of the games on this list are probably not what you were expecting to see when you clicked onto this article (sorry!), but thanks to Disney's rather aggressive business pursuits, all of the games on this list technically now fall under the umbrella of The Mouse, even if they didn't originally on release...

(All pictures in this article were either taken by myself using my rather mediocre screen capturing setup, or from the fine folks over at MobyGames.)


12. Disney's Dinosaur

Just breaking into the top dozen of Disney titles on the Dreamcast is this tie-in with the somewhat forgotten 2000s movie "Dinosaur" - which always seems to be referred to as "Disney's Dinosaur" for some reason. Whilst it isn't one of the company's biggest or most fondly remembered films, it was still a decent family-friendly romp, and anything with dinosaurs in is always going to have a ready-made fanbase of kids who can't get enough of the prehistoric reptiles. 

As a game it has some interesting points – it's a puzzle adventure title aimed at the kid's market where you switch between a trio of characters, each of whom have different abilities and skills, and make progress by utilising the right character for the right task. The isometric/top-down graphics are nice and there are loads of snippets from the film included, but the game suffers from being just a bit average – which is a criticism that can be levelled against the movie as well. The puzzles aren't all that interesting, relying on the sort of generic setup that the all-encompassing "action-adventure" genre revels in. The combat is disappointing and the controls leave something to be desired. It's not a terrible game, especially if you're part of the target market or a fan of the film, but it's all a bit too generic and unremarkable to make it any higher on this list.


11. Buzz Lightyear of Star Command

Next up and just missing out on a spot in the top ten is an adaption of an animated TV series which itself is a spin-off from Disney Pixar's ever-popular Toy Story franchise. Centred around the exploits of the Buzz Lightyear character (although not the toy version we've come to love, but rather the character which the toy is based on in the film's own lore) this is a fun if sometimes generic action-adventure title, developed by Traveller's Tales (who are more well known today for developing the incredibly popular and multi-license spanning Lego games).

The action involves platforming, running, shooting and beating similar looking baddies, quite typical for a licensed game of this type. Whilst it is never particularly innovative, it does at least deliver an approachable and enjoyable gameplay experience. Graphically, the PlayStation roots of the game are rather glaring with blocky characters and a lack of texture that stands in stark contract to the best the Dreamcast has to offer, although they are still bright and colourful (it's worth noting the Dreamcast version was the first to release, although it's glaringly obvious that it was developed in tandem with the inferior hardware of Sony's machine). The links to the Sony release are also evident in the game's general performance, which holds up for the most part, although sometimes descends into bouts of slowdown. The game does deliver in other areas though, with a decent soundtrack and plenty of snippets of dialogue taken from the show, as well as some sort video clips. The issue throughout the game is that there isn't anything to really criticise - it does a good job at bringing the TV series to life for its young audience, but can never escape being a quite average, middle-of-the-road licensed title that feels very similar to a bunch of other similar games in the early 3D age. For those who love the character and have nostalgia for the series, it's worth a look today and it's far from being a bad game - but don't expect a poll-topping title here. 


Broken Dreams: The 10 Worst Dreamcast Games

I realise I touched on this subject in my recent retrospective look at the Kalisto/Konami car crash Nightmare Creatures II, but I thought it about time that we temporarily suspended the blinkered praising of our beloved Dreamcast and investigated the pungent underbelly of the system's library more thoroughly. As Dreamcast fans, I suppose it is all too easy to look back at the console from an artificially rose-tinted perspective; and while there's nothing wrong with that it doesn't help those gamers who may be new to the system or those who perhaps didn't get the exposure to online game reviews or print magazines in the late 1990s and early 2000s.

You see, we can easily recall the monumental highs of Shenmue, Soul Calibur, Crazy Taxi and the other genre-defining software titles that make up the star-studded top tier of the software lineup; however just like every other console, the Dreamcast has a number of sub-par titles. Games that are just plain bad for any number of reasons. Games that should really be avoided unless you're one of those 'full set' collector types (you know who you are). To this end, we thought it was about time that we looked to the other end of the spectrum and brought you a run down of the most insipid and downright reprehensible games ever to 'grace' a Dreamcast. And by 'grace,' I mean be deposited onto the console through the weeping anus of a particularly unpleasant and malodorous giant.
Yep - LJN returned from the grave for one last troll on the Dreamcast
I understand that there are other terrible games that may not be on this list, but I'm not listing titles that I can't play due to either a language barrier or a lack of functionality due to internet services being discontinued. No - I'm looking at games that were deemed fully functional by testers, but were unleashed on the games buying public in states not fit for human consumption. Horrific frame rates, terrible controls, broken game engines...these are all criteria that have helped to get the following titles onto this most unholy of lists. Now, please get comfortable and allow us to take you on a rather unsettling journey as we reveal the very worst games the Dreamcast has to offer...

Holy Trinity

It's been a fucking nightmare trying to write this post y'know. Since I no longer have a net connection at my humble (and very nearly decrepit) abode, and since I am no longer working due to my imminent departure from this world, I have been forced recently revert to other means of getting online. Said means have consisted mainly of:

  • Begging friends and family members to let me use theirs, only to be confronted with a Hadrien's Wall of excuses why I couldn't. To these so-called friends I say this: "you can't keep a good blogger down, you CUNTS."
  • Using a Public Library, only to discover that Blogger wouldn't load properly due to the vastly inferior - nay, OBSOLETE - technology on offer.
  • Searching high and low for an internet cafe that a) had any terminals with all the letters of the alphabet still embedded in their keyboards; b) had terminals that weren't situated next to hugely obese, sideburned oafs that stunk to high-heaven of pure human excrement; and c) charged less than £6.50 for an hour of low bandwidth, pop-up saturated, 486 hosted internet access where you have to wait aeons for the page to refresh.

Thankfully, and after 3 days of hunting, I have found a suitable place to log-on. But why eh? Why am I so eager to get online and write a post? Well, several reasons really. The first is this:

This post is likely to be my last here at the Dreamcast Junkyard for quite some time. Y'see, I'm off on a bit of an adventure (of sorts) that will more than likely involve some boats, lots of shouting and possibly a few village people jokes being hurled around. Furthermore, my access to either Dreamcasts, Dreamcast games or indeed Dreamcast peripherals will be quite limited. I am sure though, that through the combined efforts of both The Gagaman(n) and FatherKrishna, a reliable and steady flow of luxuriously composed prose will find it's way here over the next few months.

The second reason (which also, in part, encapsulates the third reason) is that I have been doing a bit of eBaying recently (note the capital B there people), and wanted to share my purchases with you all. My most recent purchase is actually quite appropriate when considering what I'm going to be doing for the next few months, and here it is:

Yes! It's a mother-fucking Dreamcast TOWEL!!! With matching SHORTS and BAG! How FREAKING COOL IS THAT?!?!? EH?!?!? And snapped up for the bargain price of about nine quid! I'm totally in the dark about the size of the shorts or the towel, but hopefully they'll fit me - unlike that fucking jacket I got a few months back that makes me look like Billy Bunter if I dare pull it out of the back of the wardrobe and actually put it on. Cough.

But the amazingness doesn't stop there chums. Oh no. Prepare for the biggest thing you've ever read here at the Junkyard.

Ok, I've built it up beyond all proportions now so you'll probably be expecting something really, really amazing. Like Sylvester Stallone writing poetry, or George Bush making a speech without fucking it up and sounding like a remedial four-year-old. But it's almost, almost as good.

You see, last week somebody was trying to sell a Dreamcast version of Half Life on eBay. I bid on it but was subsequently outbid and in the end it went for about £25. Dammit. I accepted I'd lost the auction, cried for a bit, but was ultimatley OK. Unfortunatley for the wanker who won the auction, eBay - in their all consuming knowledge, I might add - decided that the auction was illegal, that the item had to be removed and that the bidder couldn't buy it...or some shit along those lines. Fair enough. But later on, I recieved an email. An email from a man named Gary, who long time Yardites may remember as a God among Dreamcast owners, whose collection we featured here earlier in the year. Why did he contact me? Why, to offer me a copy of Half Life of course, and while we were at it, a copy of Propellor Arena and Rez! Did I accept? YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I DID!

And two days later, my games arrived. Wanna know what I think? Then read on my friend, read on...

Rez

Ever wondered what's going on inside the mind of a crackhead? I'm betting it's a bit like playing Rez. OK, Rez received a proper PAL release, but have you ever tried to get a copy? It's like rocking horse shite - and when it does occasionally surface on eBay, the cretin selling it wants about 70 medallions for it. I think not. So a quick email conversation with Gary got me a lovely CD-R copy, and to be honest, it plays like a dream. No boot disks, no faffing about - just put it in the drive and it plays. Bloody marvellous.

But how does it play? Well, from what I can gather, you are meant to be some kind of computer hacker who has to get through a computer mainframe and destroy it. You do this by assuming the role of a floating dude who flies through wierd absract landscapes shooting shit that appears. And that's prett much it to be honest. It's sort of like a cross between Panzer Dragoon and NiGHTS, in that you just seem to float about, locking-on to various enemies with your target and then letting multiple locked enemies have a taste of your firepower by releasing the button. Obviously, there are various power-ups scattered about: some enable you to 'power up' your character and gain a more powerful gun...er...thing; whilst others give you an 'overdrive,' which is your 'special' that kills everything on the screen.

As you can see from the screens here, Rez has a very abstract feel to it, and I fell in love with it as soon as I first loaded up. The visuals may seem a little basic at first, but once you've been playing for a while and sussed it all out, you start to notice the amount of detail packed in. Objects bop along to the music and the lighting effects are magnificent. Speaking of the music - Rez features some of the best I've ever heard in a game, and it's almost as if your actions have an affect on the tempo. Indeed, when your target locks on, it gives out a 'beat,' and when the enemies croak it, they do to - it's as if your killing to a tune. Stunning.

Propellor Arena

Anyone ever play Deadly Skies? No, not that Deadly Skies - I'm talking about the Saturn Deadly Skies, where you chose a fighter plane and then roared around the sky trying to pop a cap in your opposing number's fuselage. Well, if you haven't, join the club. If you have - give yourself a slap on the back, you big fucking show-off. Anyway, Propellor Arena is a game that plays along the same lines - you choose a plane, choose an arena and then get on with flying around with your guns blazing and trying to destroy everyone else.

I seem to recall reading somewhere that Propellor Arena was cancelled by Sega due to 9/11, but I'm not sure if it's true. The one thing I am sure of though, is that as a result the Dreamcast missed out on one of it's best ever games. Put simply: Propellor Arena kicks so much ass I'm not sure if I can actually do it justice by writing about it. YOU HAVE TO PLAY THIS GAME.

The graphics, for a start are fucking amazing. The level of detail in the planes, the levels you fly around, the menu screens...everything looks superlative. But you'll forget the graphics when you're actually playing. It plays like a dream - the planes handle in a very arcade-y kind of way, and it's all the better for it. Flying around is great fun alone, but when you get a few bogeys in your field of view, ducking and weaving becomes second nature due to the perfectly balanced controls. When it comes to weaponry, you have your basic machine guns - which are suprisingly effective - but you can also collect others such as missiles and the like by shooting little floating boxes that appear dotted around the map. The whole thing is perfectly balanced and there are loads of training missions (flying through hoops etc), a dog-fight mode and a full blown championship. The sound effects are great, and the original musical score (which consists mainly of badly sung rock) matches the action perfectly. An amazing game.

Half Life

So here it is then. The ultimate piece of Dreamcast vapourware. Not any more people. It's here, and it's in my Dreamcast. Oh yes.

If you read anything about the Dreamcast version of Half Life on forums or lesser websites, you may be fooled into thinking this version is incomplete, has lots of bugs or any number of other things wrong with it. That is utter BOLLOCKS. The version I have here is as close to the PC original - if not better - than anyone could have hoped it would be. I'll sum it up in several of my favourite words: Half Life is one of the best games I have ever played on this console.

Completed by Valve and then mysteriously cancelled, Dreamcast Half Life is a game that up until now has been little more than pure myth - to me anyway. I've played through the PC original twice, and also played through the awesome sequel (HL2) and it's Steam-released add on Lost Coast - so I'd say my Half Life knowledge is better than most people's. And with that qualification, I'd say that in my opinion this Dreamcast incarnation is easily as good as the PC version, and better in some ways.

So, who's never played Half Life then? In it, you play Gordon Freeman, a scientist who's on his first day at the Black Mesa research lab. Unfortunatley for Gordon, the Anomalous Materials department have managed to fuck up (BIG TIME) and open a portal to a strange alien world called Zen, and as you'd expect, lots of nasty things have made the jump into our world. Everything goes tits-up, the military intervene by trying to kill everyone in the facility and cover it up, and all you've got as protection is a crowbar. Cue epoch making first person adventuring, amazing set pieces, brilliant dialogue, head scratching puzzles and hours upon hours of gameplay.

This Dreamcast version has a few new features up it's sleeve: redesigned weapons for a start, and slighty better character models for the NPCs. It's also got the Blue Shift add-on pack bolted on, so you can play a slightly different version of the game through the eyes of Barney Calhoun, a security guard employed at Black Mesa when everything kicks off. The DC version ain't perfect though. You'll need a whole VM to store your progress, and due to the fact that the DC hasn't got a hard drive, the game needs to occasionally pause in order to load up the next bit of the level. It's not as often as some websites would have you believe though, so it's not that big a deal. Apart from those gripes, Dreamcast HL is AWESOME. The controls are perfect, the frame-rate is perfectly acceptable, and the challenge is unrivalled. Get it in!

So there it is. Three of the greatest games on the Dreamcast, for under a tenner. Just a shame we never officially got two of them. Oh well.

If you would like to sample these amazing delights for yourself, feel free to contact Gary via email at dreamcast@btinternet.com and don't forget to mention the Junkyard!

Anyway, that's about it from me - for now. I'll be back soon...hopefully.

Laters.