I'm Dreamcast Of A White Christmas...


Well it's that time of year again...

A time for trudging through rain soaked, piss stained, agraphobia inducing streets, full of angry shoppers.

A time for hearing the same old tired, shmaltzy tunes, cranked out on a loop, in every venue you have the misfortune to go.


A time for avoiding annoying relatives, and maxing out your over strained credit card on uneccessary presents, so that you can line the pockets of multi-national chain, stores offering poor quality goods. (PS3 anyone?
Oh no I forgot... you can't get one yet can you?)

A time for stuffing yourself full of so much sugary, fat laden gack and booze, that a bout of projectile vomitting and soiling yourself, inevitably ensues. (Well it does for me anyway.)




For the good folks at
Sega however, it's a time to rejoice. Apparently they love it. As long as they've been producing consoles, they've been producing seasonal games and themed packages for their lovely machines.
Indeed, since the clever inclusion of an internal clock and calendar into the lovely
Saturn and Dreamcast respectively, games which transform into Christmassy themed packages when this special time of year rolls around...



Let's have a look at some shall we? Back in
Megadrive/Genesis days there was the cutesy 'Daze Before Christmas'. A 2D platformer where you had to help a beseiged Santa make it through a variety of hazards to deliver presents on Christmas day...



The
Saturn gave us one of the best games of all time with the Sonic Team opus Christmas Nights. This was a seasonal spin on the excellent Nights Into Dreams, a psychedelic, spaced out vision of a game, where heroes Elliot and Claris had to battle nightmarish creatures to defend the land of Dreamtopia.
Dreamcast owners eagerly anticipated Nights 2 for the best console ever, but it never appeared. Bah! Humbug!
But what of the
Dreamcast? Every December the 25th unsuspecting gamers would see a magical change occur on certain games. They would literally all of a sudden, be adorned in bunting, tinsel, Christmas trees and seasonal costumes. I've endevered to get you screenshots for each of these games, but unfortunately I've only managed to get you some... Damn you Google Image... Damn you TO HELL!
"Where the fuck am I?"

Shenmue... Perhaps my favourite title ever, a sprawling epic RPG, drawing heavily on the passage of time as our young hero Ryo Hazuki walks, talks, fights and works his way throughout the days in a quest of honour to avenge his Father's death at the hands of the murderous Lan Di. Oh and feeds kittens...Shops... And ignores the advances of saucy looking, buxom, oriental beauties...
As Ryo enters the streets of
Dobuita on Christmas day, who should he see but...
FATHER CHRISTMAS!! Whoop-de-fuckin'-do! Meddle with your Dreamcast's time/date system and you can see for yourself... 'Cos try as I might I just can't pluck an image off the net for you. Sorry.

Ready 2 Rumble Boxing on that most wonderful of days, threw up a festive treat for it's players.
This excellent cartoony arcade favourite suddenly saw Christmas trees spring up at the ringside...
Ready 2 Rumble 2 took it a step further by providing seasonal outfits and a large snowman to fight. And as throughout the rest of the year, Michael Jackson could always turn up to 'give the kids one'. A present that is.... Honestly! See my frankly piss poor illustration of this phemomena, hijacked on my camera phone, from the wonderful Games TM magazine article on this very subject...



Survival horror RPG,
Blue Stinger will also hold a special place in my heart. It was one of the first DC games I ever got really stuck into. I never completed it of course, I rarely do.
Hero
Elliot got to battle a plethora of mutant man beasts in a super market complex verily bedecked in festive trimmings and featuring large billboards with Kris Kringle and other seasonal images. And he battled these multi-limbed nightmares to a soundscape of jingley Christmas music. Beautiful really... (Sniff!)



The wonderful
Caution Seaman took the anniversary of the birth of Our Lord to another level.
Not only was there a Christmas edition of this most wonderful of games, but there was a beautiful see through red edition of the
Dreamcast itself released. Take a look at these beautiful images... and by the way, if you ever see one of these babies available on eBay, snap it up. There were only 850 of these lovelies ever made...



Free stickers and gift tags came with the game to help you wrap your presents....

On
Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, a quick visit to the Dream Arena on the Internet could allow you to dress up Sonic and his immediate environment. Our favourite Hedgehog and Sega mascot loves Christmas as much as the Japanese people that spawned him, despite him being erm.. a Hedgehog, and Japan being a nation of Shintoists. Go figure...













Now, you know I've taken to cheaply including images of my favourite eye candy in recent posts, and who am I to break this tradition?
However, this time it's one of the
Dreamcast's own lovely ladies and a personal favourite of mine. Ulala! In a festive outfit! Crikey!



("No,
Ivy off Soul Calibur, I haven't forgotten you, you're always number one imaginary lust object in my heart, even if it's wrong to fancy videogame characters...Nurse! Medication! It's happening again...")

By the way, I just found out that Christmas is the favourite time of year of devout Jehova's Witness, nipple flasher and person who featured Dreamcast clips in her video, Janet Jackson!!
Who'd a thunk it???


Good Night children and a Merry Christmas to you all, wherever you are...

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amazing! What devilish pacts did you sign that allowed you to unearth such treasures? Xmas DC! Who'd have thought!

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic bloody idea, Christmas sleeper games.....can't imagine any next gen titles with hidden gems like that......

im a tad shocked at seeing Santa so bereft of dignity... please tell me it's not the real Santa.....

fatherkrishna said...

Relax Elderly, he's just a stand in, who quite frankly let us all down...
Gnome! The treasures were just there waiting for us all retro fans to discover...
Thanks a billion for checking in so promptly!
I love you guys...
(Father Krishna starts to cry into his sherry glass, then seeing that his other guests are watching steels himself, blows a big snotty into his hankie and adjusts his festive decor...)

The GagaMan(n) said...

Ryo Hazuki in Coronation Street? HAHAHAHAHA.

Don't forget that Toy Commander Christmas mission from one of the Dream On demo discs! =D

Anonymous said...

Great. You can have our babies then... nice.

Caleb said...

I remember that Phantasy Star online had a bunch of holiday themed quests and stuff. However I do not remember if you can get them offline or not.

(which reminds me I gotta start up that game again. Ever since I got the guide for it I have slacked off and lost interest, now with the version 2.0 there is new stuff and I gotta start playing again.)

I think it would be interesting to note just innovative this was considering not many games TODAY do this. At least none that I know of.

I mean dreamcast pushed everything to the limits. There was a clock system and the software really took advantage of it. How friggen' awesome is it that software could actually consider the time of year?!?!!?

Imagine that someone who didn't know this suddendlt saw all this stuff over the holidays. It would prob freak him out!

....It's thinking....

Muahahahahaha!

C.

fatherkrishna said...

Glad to give you a giggle Gagaman(n)! Toy commander is a game that eludes my collection, although I,m always seeing copies of Toy Racer at GS. Then I saw it last time I went in , but they'd vaccum sealed the bugger in shrinkwrap as part of a console package...(DOH!)

Gnome I meant in a platonic sense, not a child bearing sense...Really, my wife would never forgive me if I gave birth to another man's child...

Caleb, whilst owning a copy of PSO it's never let me play it cos it says I've got to register it online.
I,ve only ever had it online once and didn't think of the game at the time...
I am definitely going to try R2R boxing on Xmas day and also going to embark on the epic blue stinger again, now I have a strategy guide...

Anonymous said...

...phew.... platonic babies... thank god ......id a never lasted the nine months....

Caleb said...

I never had that problem with the whole online thing with PSO.

I just put in my registry code in the CD box and played in offline mode.

Maybye it's different with the Europe Version?

I dunno. Anyways I still have not found out if the Halloween or Christmas quests can be played in the offline mode.

Anonymous said...

Don't think much of plato really. Couldn't we perhaps talk Epicurean babies, or even pre-Socratic ones?

Nice.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap!! Merry freakin' christmas!! I'm gone for a while and come back to a bunch of gay men wanting to have babies with each other....

I'm Outta' Here!!

Anonymous said...

LoL!! None of us are gay!! It's just that the men we sleep with are... Hehe!
Deitrix! We all love each other in a blogging community way...
And we want you to feel the love...
FEEL the 'LOVE'!

HA!

Anonymous said...

Besides it was all a manner of speach... Let's go watch some football now. Right.

fatherkrishna said...

Yeah Gnome, I'm just doing a bit of 'home improvement' right now, listening to Black Sabbath, chewing tobacco, watching John Wayne in 'True Grit'. removing a bullet without anaesthetic, in my 'tool-belt', whilst checking out the scores of the game.
Gay? PAH!
As if...

Anonymous said...

...as if?

Akuma said...

:DDDD
hey please can you post that video back on youtube, of receiving a dreamcast for christmas!!! the one you smash the christmas tree
thank you
and merry christmas

Akuma said...

:DDDD
hey please can you post that video back on youtube, of receiving a dreamcast for christmas!!! the one you smash the christmas tree
thank you
and merry christmas