Dream Machine

Word peeps. Apologies, yet again it seems, for my blatant lack of posting activity here at the nerve centre of Dreamcast related horse shit: The Dreamcast Junkyard. This, for the most part is down to my rather infuriating internet connection set up. If ever there was a more screen-punchingly annoying way of getting online than with a laptop that constantly refuses to acknowledge usb devices and a mobile phone on a network that rarely gives more than 2 bars of signal, then I'd like to hear about it. So - word of advice: Don't buy an Acer laptop; and don't get a mobile on the Three network, however nice their adverts may look, and however enticing their tariffs may seem. And if Three are reading, allow me to say this: FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNTS.

Anyhow, moving on to more relevant subjects - last night, whilst chillin' in ma crib with ma bitches and ma hoes and suppin' a Bud (sat on my own watching TV whilst the incessant rain smashed relentlessly across the shaking window panes), I spotted a Dreamcast on TV! Not an actual console mind, but a pad and a TV displaying a game of NFL 2K.


Now, at this juncture, I realise that by sharing this with you my rating on the Geek With No Life Or Friends-o-meter has probably just gone through the roof and into the underside of an orbiting satellite...but I think it's a cunning spot from yours truly. So where was this Dreamcast hiding? Well, last night saw the premiere of Vin Diesel 'action epic' A Man Apart on Channel 4. And very entertaining it was too. However, in two seperate scenes, one of Mr Diesel's pals (an obese, cake-loving gentleman, ironically monikered 'Sexy') can be seen playing said NFL game with a lovely white pad in his hands. The pad? Why, it's a DC one...

Beat that!! Spotted a DC in a movie? Let us know! I'm so excited I've just pissed and shat myself, but in the name of textual entertainment I'm going to sit here and wallow in my own faecal matter, because I've got something else to share with you all...

Have a look at this picture:

Note: The number plate has been blanked out to prevent any psychos checking my address
with the DVLA and stalking me. Not that it wouldn't be an honour to be stalked, you understand...


Yep, this is my car. Looks no different from any other piece of shit, rust-bucket Nissan Sunny right? WRONG, BITCH!!!

In an example of 'modding' not seen outside of that other Vin Diesel mess 'The Fast And The Furious,' I have turned my motor into the envy of the Dreamcast-loving world:

The Dream-Mobile (TM)!

Check out the bonnet:

Another note: Sonic's stuck on with Blue Tack. I'm not stupid enough to use Bostik. Although...

Check out the back windscreen:


Check out the pedals:


As you can probably tell, it's an automatic. Good job I learnt to drive playing Sega Rally 2 then, eh?

Now, if I drive around whilst wearing my UK Resistance T-Shirt, Dreamcast Jacket and Dreamcast swimming shorts I'm guaranteed to get loads of fine-ass birds begging for my phone number right?!

Who's laughing now eh?! EH?! Oh.

9 comments:

Joey M. said...

If those stickers on the pedals aren't shopped on, then yes, the babes will be all over you and your little Nissan.

The GagaMan(n) said...

Funny that, I spotted a Dreamcast controller and a pile of the blue game cases (with Jet Set radio face forward) on 'How Clean is your house?' just this week!

Also, someone will nick that Sonic from the front of your car in an instant, better off sticking it on the inside of the car, by the window!

fatherkrishna said...

HA! HA! I think I just soiled myself...! Very, very funny stuff!

I think you need to where your Dreamcast promotional bomber jacket, yo maximise that pulling power...

Sweet ride dude... :)

Tomleecee said...

lol, the sonic is safely in the glove box!

mikey4u1984 said...

DAMM! I think I need to beat that by installing a DC inside, but I doubt I can out do Tomleecee!!!

NebachadnezzaR said...

"lol, the sonic is safely in the glove box!"

You can do better, you can hung him by the windshield like in gale racer: http://www.sonicworld.net/site/games/cameos/images/gale.png

Caleb said...

Haha! Awesome.

I just saw a Dreamcast controller in a brand new "vitamin water" commerical.

It was in a messy college kid's room near a pile of old clothes and pizza.

I am guessing it was a hard night of Soul Calibur that led to the need for vitamin water in the morning.

gnome said...

Excellent, hilarious and lovely. Oh, and I'm not talking about the car mind you...

Anonymous said...

i am stormtrooper190
i ones sow a dreamcast in a chaky chan movie. cant beat that can you