The Official Sega Hardware Calendar 2017

As is usually the case for anything I post, skip past the pish to see what you came for.
It's not even December, but cheesy Christmas songs are being played on the radio and in shops around the country, decorations are going up in the streets, 'Tesco Value' branded Christmas puddings have been appearing nationwide like a seasonal bout of flu and invites for the local New Year piss ups from wankers you've avoided for the past year are flooding your Facebook events list. That said, I've not spent a Christmas in the UK for seven years, but I imagine these things are still happening regardless. Perhaps it starts as early as October these days, who knows.

Now while many of the weaboos out there have no doubt heard of this before, the majority of you surely haven't so I'll take this opportunity to blow your mind with a hilarious tidbit regarding Christmas culture in Japan.

Ready for it?

On Christmas day in Japan, hundreds of thousands of people rush out to KFC in an attempt to replicate the traditional western Christmas dinner experience (in their eyes at least). Yes, the vast majority of people in this country believe that us wide-eyed-barbarians gather our family on Christmas day and venture out into the wild to enjoy a Christmas colonel feast. No I'm not shitting you.

「christmas kfc japan」の画像検索結果
Some more evidence in case you're still in doubt:
「christmas kfc japan」の画像検索結果
Now, while many of the Japanese who've had international experience know this to be a sham, the vast majority are completely oblivious. Believe me, every year I'm asked multiple times if my family eats KFC for Christmas dinner, and my answer never fails to both amaze and disappoint.

Legend has it that when KFC first expanded into the country, they ran some rather festive adverts on television depicting a western family eating KFC at Christmas, and that's how this madness started. Now, while I can't find any evidence of that original advert, I have posted a more modern example below for your enjoyment.

I've really gone off topic with this one. Let me get back to the whole point of this article...

Today I received the official 2017 Sega Hardware calendar in the post. Yes, OFFICIAL! I shall now begin walking you through each page in tedious detail. Enjoy!
Nice calendar. It's rather small. It has a cardboard back, the pages are made from glossy paper. On da front it has a nice Sega font with various hardware beneath.
January is for SC-3000, a relatively obscure Sega computer that formed the base for the SG-1000. There's an 8/16-bit style pixel representation of the system in the bottom left corner. 
February is the SG-1000's time to shine. It's all red, probably because of valentine's day.
My birthday month, March is all about the SG-1000 Mark II. What could next month be? I'm so excited.
Who would have thunk it? It's April! And the Japanese version of the Master System, the Mark III now has its turn to be proudly represented on your desk at work. Well, it's not really the Japanese version of the Master System because they got the Master System over here too, but it is really. 
See! I told you. May is for Master System.
The weather's starting to get rather pleasant now (unless you live in the UK). June is the month of the Megadrive.
Summer's approaching and what better way to prepare for it than but dusting off that old Game Gear for those long days on the beach.
August is of course the month of the first Sega add-on, the Mega CD. What awaits us in September I wonder...
Of course, Sega didn't last long enough to fill 12 pages of a calendar with different hardware, and so September is the month of the Megadrive and Mega CD 2 combo.
What did October ever do to deserve this?
November celebrates the glorious Sega Saturn. Only one page left now boys and girls. Let's hope it features the Dreamcast, and not the V-Saturn or Sega Homestar otherwise this article is really screwed.

Don't run off to your safe space quite yet, I'm only 'avin in a laugh. Fooled you!
Phew... you had me worried there for a second Sega, you cheeky monkeys! The final page is of course dedicated to our favourite console of all time, the Dreamcast!
And the arse of the calendar has this rather lovely sticker on it. There's a telephone number there, perhaps those of you with plans to release the Dreamcast 2 could call them and tell them your master plan.
Happy New Year Sega Fans!

Please note, the calendar was only available to residents of Japan and was sold through this website. Unfortunately, the calendars are now sold out and as far as I know there are no plans to print more, which is a shame. Hopefully, this stupid decision will be reversed...but don't hold your breath.

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