Visual Memory, Baby!

You know what I really, really hate about the Dreamcast? It's the noise. The noise is unbelievable. I have moaned about this in the past - about the disk accessing and the hum of the fan, but this is about something else. And I'm sure everyone reading this will have experienced this at least once:

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!

Yes, it's the VM politely telling me, the rest of the street and every dog in the neighbourhood that it's batteries are dead. I decided to remedy this annoyance by opening the VM and destroying the speaker module thing by twatting it with the screwdriver...but my common sense kicked in and told me that it'd probably disrupt the correct operation of the device. So I resorted to the semi-efficient practice of sticking a blob of blu-tack over the speaker vents on the back of all of my VMs.

However, it seems that all my beep induced problems have been solved. For today I picked up a Joytech 4mb VM (pictured) for the price of £2.49 stirling. I suppose it should really only be called an 'M' because it doesn't have an LCD screen, ergo dropping the need for the term 'Visual.' But it is this lack of an LCD that holds the true genius.

No LCD means no battery and no battery means no beep!!!! Plus, it's 4 VMs in one, so it abolishes the need to replace VMs every time I want to play a game with a save on another card.

Phantasy Star Online arrived too but I've had no time to have a go, but judging by the reports I've had fall across my desk about how good it is, I think my Friday night is sorted. Pub? nah. Phantasy Star Online. but offline. You get the drift.

***Tom Cruise update incoming***

Now, the Dreamcast Junkyard has brought up the subject of Mr Cruise on numerous occasions in the recent past. But this time, I feel I owe the pint sized scientologist freak a semi-apology. You see, I saw (not sure if that's good grammar) The Last Samurai yesterday and I must say that it's one damn fine movie. The story is quite believable, the fight scenes very impressive and the whole movie is beautifully shot. It doesn't quite undo the abhorrance contained within War of the Worlds, but it was good. But still, Mr Cruise worships alien ghosts that eat human souls. Quite.

***End Transmission***

Dreamcast? Art?!

Well what do you know?! 3 hours and 6 cups of coffee after I embarked on my Odyssey to give the 'Yard it's own unique logo, I've done it!! Look! Up there!

To be fair, it only took me about 10 minutes to actually create the thing in photoshop, but it was a freaking nightmare trying to work out which bits of the template's HTML I needed to mess about with. Hair tearing just isn't the phrase. And to avoid the original 'Dreamcast Junkyard' text logo appearing over the new image, I've had to rename this blog '.' (yep, it's a full stop).

The image above is taken from this website, Gamingredients, which features a decent Fall Of Sega article and also an interesting collection of 'arty' shots of the Dreamcast and Saturn. It doesn't appear to have been updated for about a year, but it makes for a pleasant sideline. I also discovered this rather interesting site (with the strangest URL I've ever seen) that has info on Dreamcast programming, burning DC images and getting CD-Rs to run. Check it out peeps.

Apart from that, Phantasy Star Online still ain't arrived, but on a lighter note my review of Speed Devils online has been published so feel free to have a gander by clicking on this link. As ever - all comments are very much appreciated. Except those ones from Frank8888 who explains that my site is "Good, with much discussion...perhaps you'd like to buy some time-share real estate in California..."

Suddenly, comment verification has become a most interesting prospect.

V for Vacuous

Saw that V for Vendetta the other day. I can only speak for myself (evidently), but I’m getting rather fucking infuriated with the way all these new ‘blockbuster’ movies get built up by either pompous movie writers, newspaper promotions or impressive looking trailers…and when you finally see the thing it’s a festering, house-sized dollop of manure (see War of the Worlds for further information). Enter V for Vendetta. For a start, what the HELL is 'V' moaning about?

From the outset, the vision of a futuristic Britain presented doesn’t seem too far removed from how it is now. Hmmm…government controlled news and shady politicians (sorry)? Oh, wait – there’s a curfew at night. A very honourable and just reason to destroy Parliament I’m sure. And you’ve gotta love the line “ He’s controlling every TV in London…” Because no one outside of London has a TV, obviously. Or simply fails to exist in the minds of anyone in London. Bah.

Oh, and the tagged on nonsense about Guy Fawkes is just that - tagged on. At the end, I'll wager.

Anyway, The Dreamcast Junkyard would like to officially condemn all American films that feature anything to do with the UK. Now that’s out of the way - On with the show, as it were.

Please take the time to read my comparative reviews of Speed Devils and Speed Devils Online. They simply are not the same game and it is quite interesting to look at the differences between them. Interesting that is, if your existence consists of nothing but a swirling vortex of drudgery and toil, encapsulated by an Event Horizon of monotony. But I shouldn’t complain – I got Phantasy Star Online for £2 off eBay the other day. Now I return every evening from my long day of writing this ‘at the office’ (ho ho!), with the hope that it has arrived through the post. As every day passes that it hasn’t arrived, my expectation grows at least eight-fold! I fear that if it hasn’t arrived by the end of the week, my anticipation levels may have risen to such an amplitude that I may be able to siphon and filter it (eh? EH?) out of my ear, bottle it and vend it to England fans who are expecting us to win the World Cup.

At this juncture, I would like to shatter this chain of pessimism and bring to your attention something rather excellent. I have explained this to several of my contemporaries who have just ignored me (as is the norm), but I truly recommend getting up before 9am on a Saturday morning, putting ITV1 on and watching a brilliant cartoon called Avatar: The Last Airbender. It’s about this young lad who has the capacity to manipulate the elements of Earth, Wind, and Water etc. That he and others with this skill are known colloquially as ‘Benders’ made me chuckle, but then I still find poo and wee jokes hilarious.

Before you scream ‘Captain Planet rip-off!’ please be advised that it features some dazzling animation, and there’s a quite fit cartoon bird in it (Staff Writer phrase alert) to boot. Sad? Possibly. But nowhere near as sad as playing Space Channel 5 just to look at Ulala’s legs.

Yep, there's more...

The sudden and unexpected appearance of the Dreamcast logo in the strangest places continues, people. Earlier, I was explaining to my housemate how Man United are going to catch Chelsea and win yet another league title in spectacular fashion, when something in my peripheral vision grabbed my attention:This rather poor quality photo is of the net curtain in said housemate's bedroom! But that's not all - as the swirl caught his attention I was able to half inch (pinch) his PSP, flush it down the toilet and replace it with a Tiger Game.com. Ho ho...THE FOOL will be forced to play Lights Out in monochrome for all ETERNITY!

As well as that, I gave in to temptation earlier and did actually take those two games back to the shop (Suzuki Alstare and Speed Devils Online). I exchanged 'em for the original Speed Devils and...eek!...Spirit of Speed 1937!!!

Now, The Dreamcast Junkyard is 100% supportive of the Dreamcast for obvious reasons (it being the greatest Sega console ever, and Sega being the greatest games company ever...as the Americans may be heard to frequently exclaim - "Do The Math!"), but is in no way biased. If a Dreamcast game is great - I'll say so...but likewise if a game sucks, the 'Yard will tell it like it is.

Using that ideology, Spirit of Speed sucks. A lot. Even to the point of sucking ass. A few reasons squire?

• You get a tarmac/tire squeal when you accelerate on grass!
• The graphics are atrocious.
• The frame rate often dips to flickerbook levels. Like the ones of a bouncing ball you used to draw on the corner of your maths book in school. But less entertaining.
  
• The loading times last for eons - indeed, this gamer watched the rise and fall of an empire of bacteria in an old yogurt pot before the first menu even appeared.

Also - If anyone out there reading this also owns Spirit of Speed, could you be a mate and tell me how to switch to the 3rd person view shown on the back of the box?!

As I already suspected, Speed Devils Offline is vastly superior to the Online variant and has a fantastic single player championship (and as mentioned in an earlier post, superior graphics and music too). It's actually a lot like Rush, but with more detailed tracks and more customisability (not sure if that is an actual word). Overall: a damn fine game, peeps.

New review here too. Lest we forget the HORROR of Army Men: Sarge's Heroes...