Dreamcastic Christmas 2023: Heart-warming Tales from DreamPod Listeners

Ahead of recording episode 125 of the DreamPod, which first aired as part of RadioSEGA’s illustrious Winterfest and is now available in all the regular places, we appealed to our listener base to send us their festive Dreamcast-related ideas, memories and musings. And thankfully, in generous Christmas spirit, our mailbag promptly filled-up with a hefty slab of responses ranging from the witty, to the heart-warming, to the downright impressive. Quite a few were discussed on the pod, but many are undoubtedly worth sharing on the blog too, and so here we are. 

Thanks to all the wonderful Junkard-ers (yardies?) who made submissions, tuned into the podcast or are currently reading these hungover scribblings of mine. The Junkyard wouldn't be what it is without you and we are blessed to have such a wonderful community gathered around the site eighteen years on from its founding. 

So, if you'd like to amplify your festive cheer, pour yourself a glass of Creamcast ale, and read on.

 Our guest on DreamPod 125, Pat from Sega Saturn, SHIRO!, lovingly embracing the Dreamcast that Santa brought him as a child.

Christmas Cracker Extravaganza

In typical parochial British fashion, I had assumed that Christmas Crackers were a widespread phenomenon, when in fact, it turns out they are pretty much contained to the shores of the UK. Nevertheless, we had some fantastic responses from all over the world to our call for Dreamcast-themed Christmas cracker ideas, several sent in by folks who had no prior familiarity with the concept (but evidently got with the programme quite rapidly).

Horror host extraordinaire Uncle Clutch knocked it out of the park, delivering a set of eight sublime watercolour paintings. Feast your eyes on their magnificence below, and, if you ever happen to meet the dude in person, be sure to buy him a drink (or three) on us.

Copyright Uncle Clutch, 2023. Not to be reproduced without permission of the creator.

Copyright Uncle Clutch, 2023. Not to be reproduced without permission of the creator.

Drum and Bass superstar Pizza Hotline delivered a detailed pitch for some garish Hello Kitty crackers: “A mixture of pink and blue semi-transparent non-recyclable plastic Hello Kitty crackers, like the consoles. There’s confetti inside that consists of mini plastic hello kitty faces and Dreamcast swirls which gets everywhere, sticks to your carpet and clothing, and no matter how much you brush or hoover it, it won’t come off. The prizes in the crackers are any of the capsule toys from Shenmue 1 or 2. You might get a poorly formed Sonic or Virtua Fighter character, or, better yet some dice or a mini forklift. It’s a Christmas miracle! When you pull each cracker, they don’t go BANG. Instead, they make the annoying VMU beeeep sound, and, instead of jokes you get awful one-liners from Shenmue. However, if you’re lucky you might get the odd inappropriate line from Blue Stinger’s Dogs Bower too. ‘Years ago I was Chinese’, ‘Try asking Chinese people about Chinese’, ‘Ugly like the worst sin’, or perhaps ‘Our jackets are too cool for that scum. I want guys like you to wear them’”. 

Of course, we assume that the emphasis on plastic-heavy construction is in fact a tongue-in-cheek throwback to the excesses of the late '90s and not something for David Attenborough to be worried about. 

The Hello Kitty Dreamcast has certainly become a bit of a style icon in recent years.

Bobby (purveyor of the magnificent Wandering Through Shenmue YouTube channel) provided an equally detailed pitch for some crackers that we would love to see on our tables – and gets top marks for including a bad joke: “I believe the cracker itself should be in the shape of a VMU. They could even come in different colours seeing as we had so many to pick from when the Dreamcast was originally released. To open it, you put your fingers where the finger grip traditionally is and pull the protective dust cap right off. In addition, the VMU screen will have traditional Sega images that are slightly altered. Sonic wearing a Christmas hat. Amy with mistletoe above her head. Nozomi wearing a scarf.

All of the hats will bear the traditional Dreamcast swirl logo. I suppose if the cracker is released in Great Britain the swirl will be blue, whereas if it's released in Japan or North America, it will be the traditional orange. But what's inside? How about some rubber erasers in the shape of different character heads from Sega franchises. One of them could have Skies of Arcadia characters. Another one would have Sonic characters of course. Maybe the other would have Virtua Fighter characters.”

And how about that bad cracker joke? Make sure you are seated for this one folks.

“Q: What do you tell your friend when the laser on your Dreamcast is having a hard time reading a disc because it's dirty?

A: It's thinking”

DCJY welcomes Jörg Tittel

In the latest episode of our podcast DreamPod, Andrew, Brian and Mike chat with writer, producer and director Jörg Tittel, who previously wrote for the US Official Dreamcast Magazine. We discuss Jörg's time at the magazine, his love for the Dreamcast, and his experience working on his own game (The Last Worker). He also shares some fascinating stories, detailing his friendships with Dreamcast developer royalty, including Frédérick Raynal (Toy Commander, Toy Racer) and probably most notably, the late Shinya Nishigaki (Blue Stinger, Illbleed) - which led to Jörg being included as a character in Illbleed!

Jörg S. Baker in Illbleed, based on Jörg Tittel!

Use the embedded player below to listen here on the main Dreamcast Junkyard blog, or alternatively you can grab the episode on your podcatcher of choice.

Thanks once again to Jörg for coming on the podcast. You can follow him on Twitter, @newjorg. Also check out his upcoming game, The Last Worker at thelastworker.com, which looks excellent, and (as revealed on the episode) will contain an Illbleed easter egg!

Blue Stinger: On a Hello Market Slay Ride

"And when those blue snowflakes start falling

That's when those blue memories start calling

You'll be doing all right

With your Dreamcast of white

But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, Blue Stinger"

- Elvis Presley, or a Vegas impersonator thereof

Every year, I must indulge in a series of holiday rituals before I can even think about getting into the Christmas spirit. First, I’ll string up multicolor lights around my living room. Then I’ll help bring cheer to the folks of Twin Seeds City with a couple runs through Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams. Inevitably, I’ll watch Clark Griswold be an asswart to his neighbor Julia Louise-Dreyfus in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It’s a process.

With those nostalgic boxes checked, I’ll then turn to more subtle, personal ways of rediscovering the holiday magic. I'll take a simple reprieve from the stressful work season with my puppy. And stuff my gullet with my mom and aunt’s dueling cookie platters. My girlfriend and I also tried hate-watching Lifetime holiday movies until we realized we were just normal-watching them. Shout out to the one about the family's struggling fruitcake company and the one with Reba McEntire, btw. By this point, I’m really starting to feel the Christmas spirit.

Then – when the time is just right – I’ll pop the star atop the proverbial tree: Climax Graphics’ Christmas-adjacent Dreamcast classic, Blue Stinger.

Here comes Santa Dogs, Here comes Santa Dogs...

Whether the Dreamcast fan community regards it as a brilliant cult classic or a survival horror(ible) jankfest, Blue Stinger doesn’t much give a fuck what we think of it. All told, it's an absurd and campy holiday action game that makes my cup runneth over with Yuletide joy.

A Dreamcast Launch Retrospectacle: Celebrating/Ranking the Games of 9.9.99

Note: This post was originally published on September 9th, 2020 but most of it should still be relevant, even if some of my maths and Fall Guys references are not. I also enjoy the original Sonic Adventure way more now than I did back when I wrote this, and I was admittedly a bit harsh on the Midway games. Anyway, thanks for reading!

---------------------------------------------------

Well, shit. It’s been 21 years since the Dreamcast’s North American launch. That makes it old enough to drink here.

Legally.

Of course, that’s hardly news for all you folks outside of the States. In Japan, the Dreamcast has been of legal libation consumption age for nearly two years, both because it came out almost a year earlier and because the nation’s legal drinking age is 20. Doubly so for most European countries. In Germany, kids as young as 14 can drink wine and beer with their parents’ consent, which means the Dreamcast has been allowed to partake in the devil’s sauce for over seven years (with permission from the Saturn and Mega Drive, of course). And apparently you Brits have been legally allowed to drink at home since you were five (?!) years old. If true, the Dreamcast has been pounding pints in the UK since the Nintendo DS was in nappies.

Anyway, I write all of this because I find it both a convenient and unnecessarily convoluted excuse to crack open some brewskies and reminisce about the Dreamcast’s iconic launch library all those years ago. In the spirit of the occasion, I’d like to think of this feature as a Dreamcast 21 run of sorts.

I’ve always been fascinated with video game console launches and the “next gen” titles that usher us into each new era of gaming. I believe these launches provide unique insights into how platform holders aspire to position their consoles and contribute to the broader evolution of the medium. Console launches give us a glimpse into the creative mindsets of developers seeking to innovate with the new technological possibilities afforded to them. Then there’s the sheer spectacle of it all, which can also be fun in itself.

When it comes to the all-time great console launches, I can’t think of a better time than the sixth generation. Leading the way, of course, was the Sega Dreamcast. You probably don’t need me to sell you on the brilliance of its launch collection. At least in North America and PAL territories (sorry, Japan), there was almost a magic surrounding it. From day one, the Dreamcast hosted a legendary library of excellent games, many of which remain widely revered by the Junkyard community. I’ve recently replayed all 19 of the North American launch titles and I’m surprised which ones have held up at least as well as, if not better than I expected. Others, less so. More than anything, revisiting the Dreamcast’s launch library has helped strengthen my appreciation for the creative risks Sega took with its final console debut, as well as the more enduring impacts its games ultimately had on the medium.

It boggles my mind to consider the rare confluence of factors that could've enabled the Dreamcast to spoil early adopters with such a wealth of launch day riches. Back then, and for a variety of reasons, console launch lineups seemed more crucial for setting the tone and tenor of the experiences we might associate with those platforms. Perhaps the relative technical strides between generations underscored the need to show off a diverse stable of games that could never have existed previously. And before development costs skyrocketed in the HD era, maybe it was easier for more devs to begin and finish their projects in the time between receiving dev kits and preparing for launch. At the very least, developers might've been freer to work in peace without us asshat fans yammering at them on social media all the time.

So now, after 21 years, I figured I’d share my thoughts on all 19 North American Dreamcast launch titles through a not-completely-sober, retrospective lens. Here are my totally biased and nostalgia-be-damned takes on the Dreamcast’s original launch lineup. And in no particular ord—actually, screw it. I’m not usually a fan of ranked game lists but I’m a couple of beers in at this point and I’m fine with being a hypocrite.

OK. Worst to first. Let’s go...

Bollocks and Diamonds

Saw that Cloverfield last week. Wasn’t expecting much, but this gamer was very impressed. So what if it’s full of cock ups, plot holes and clichés. It fucking rocks. Big time. What doesn’t rock are the fucking imagination vacuums who reckon it’s shit. Why? Why is it shit? Because it wasn’t written by Jane Austen? Because it’s not riddled with bewildering, contrived sub-plots? Because it’s not in black and white with Spanish subtitles? FUCK OFF! It’s a good old fashioned monster movie delivered with a breath of fresh air in the way its shot. Simple as that. And if you’ve still not seen it, go and watch it. Now. It fucking rocks.

Just wanted to get that off my chest.

In other news, earlier today, whilst out spending hideous amounts of money on clothes manufactured in developing countries by starving people who earn less in a year than most of us do in a week, I spotted a rather curious looking book. No – it wasn’t a pristine copy of The Never Ending Story, and nor was it an original edition of Shakespeare’s First Folio. No, it was something far more remarkable – the Guinness Book of Records 2008: Gamer’s Edition.

Picking it up and flicking through it’s crisp and new-smelling pages, I was at first rather awed by the in-depth critiques of several of gaming’s biggest franchises – Halo, Tekken, Zelda et al. Then, after a sudden brainwave, I flicked to the index at the back to see if there were any entries dedicated to our favourite off-white cuboid of ecstasy – The Dreamcast! And there were…a whole two. TWO! The first was the slightest of mentions on a contents page timeline…and the second a measly paragraph squashed into a corner of a page that fleetingly honours the DC with being the first console of the ‘sixth generation.’ And that’s it, save for a few brief mentions when DC software is grudgingly given a look in when studying various genres. And, get this, there’s a sales figures section that features both the N64 and PSX, but neither the Saturn OR Dreamcast are mentioned. Furthermore, in the ‘Fighting Games’ chapter, there is NO MENTION WHATSOEVER OF SOUL CALIBUR!

Is Guinness yet another media entity that is trying to deny the existence of the Dreamcast under orders from Sony? Looks like it, people.

But fuck Guinness. And fuck their shit tome of LIES and DECIET. I’ve been buying more Dreamcast games off eBay. Lets have a looky…

Blue Stinger

One of the Dreamcast’s earlier releases, Blue Stinger is a 3D explore-and-shoot-things ‘em up much in the vein of Tomb Raider. But with a hint of Resident Evil thrown in. You play as either Elliot Balade or Dogs Bower and must travel to the heart of a mysterious island that has been overrun by mutants to basically find out what the fuck is going on. Along the way, you’ll get to meet various other characters, engage in unintentionally humourous conversations, kick the shit out of beasties (and steal their cash to buy ammo from vending machines (?!)), gasp at the swearing in the dialogue and marvel at the crispness of the garishly hued first-generation visuals. 

If you can’t tell from that diatribe, I really like Blue Stinger. It’s a quality, no-nonsense action game that features a super-cheesy story and has brilliant action sequences bursting out from around every corner. Brilliant stuff that puts a lot of later releases to shame. 8/10

Surf Rocket Racers

Taking the baton from the awesome Hydro Thunder and the not-so-awesome Aqua GT, Surf Rocket Racers is the third water based racing game on the ‘Cast. However, rather than having you race obscenely powerful speedboats (like in Hydro Thunder, that is. Aqua GT’s are more like pedalows), SRR squeezes your ass into a wetsuit and up onto a Jet Ski. Obvious comparisons to the N64’s seminal Wave Race can be made, but that’s just lazy. So I’ll leave that till later. So what does SRR offer? Well, loads of tracks, loads of playable racers to choose from (with the typical slow/good handling – fast/shit handling statistics), several championship modes and even a Crazy Box style challenge mode. So, you see – it already trumps Wave Race in that it has about a billion more play modes and tracks. 

Graphically, it also manages to impress slightly. The trackside detail is commendable and the racers themselves are well modeled. It’s just that the water looks less like water and more like a mass of jelly. So Wave Race has better water effects, but for me Surf Rocket Racers is the better of the two just because the former has the longevity of the Hepatitis virus once it leaves the body. SRR on the other hand will have you playing for ages. Well, a good half an hour anyway, and that’s 23 minutes longer than Wave Race will hold the attention of any intelligent sentient being. 7/10

Pro Pinball Trilogy

Pinball games aren’t really something I usually go for, but Pro Pinball Trilogy caught my attention simply because I’ve recently been hammering the shit out of the little pinball game that comes integrated with Windows XP. Yes, I am that sad. It’s addictive as hell though, so I figured that a full blown pinball game for the Dreamcast, complete with all the 128-bit bells and whistles you could wish for would be like gaming nirvana. Erm, not exactly. Pro Pinball has ‘Trilogy’ tacked on the end because it has 3 different tables to play on, and the back of the box proudly rams this fact home with some kind of smug satisfaction. My response?

“THREE?! Is that meant to be good?”

Fuck me – Windows’ free pinball game has one table. Anyway, Pro Pinball Trilogy does exactly what it says on the tin (smug box). 

It’s a pinball game that lets you control the flippers at the bottom of the table with the L and R triggers and lets you nudge the table with the analogue stick. Rumours that you can actually jump onto the table and smash the glass with your steel toe-capped rigger boots by pressing X and Y together are unfounded. For the more anal pinball aficionado (of which I’m sure there are many), there’s the option to view pre-rendered images of each table and even chance to tinker with the table’s dot matrix score display in order to test the light bulbs in the flippers (no, really). If, however, you’d rather go to the pub and talk to real people – give Pro Pinball Trilogy a miss. And stick to the free pinball in Windows. 4/10

Walt Disney World Quest: Magical Racing Tour (The Hunt For Curly’s Gold) (Part IV)

No, that’s not it’s real title – but fuck me! How long does the name have to be?! Anyway, I believe that several posts ago, in my study of Wacky Races, I claimed that that game was the Dreamcast’s answer to Mario Kart (hmm – more suspect Nintendo envy…). Well consider that comment well and truly rescinded. WDWQ: MRT is actually the Dreamcast’s true answer to Mario Kart. Obviously, it doesn’t quite measure up to Ninty’s powerhouse series (that doesn’t include Double Dash, by the way) because nothing can, but it goes a fair way to claim the crown as the Dreamcast’s most enjoyable ‘Kart’ game. 

Taking on the role of either Chip, Dale or one of the other strange Disney ‘characters’ that no-one’s ever heard of (where the frigging hell are Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy etc?!), it’s down to you to race around various Disney World themed circuits in order to win back parts of a firework machine that exploded because nuts were emptied into it. Naturally. Ignore the daft story and rather poo graphics though, and what you get with WDWQ: MRT is a genuinely fun little racer. It’s obviously – as with most games of this ilk – for kids, and this is reflected in the difficulty level, but it really is quite an enjoyable game. It all moves at a fairly slick pace and features some great weapons (check out the ‘teacup bomb’), and is a hoot in multiplayer. All in all, a nice karter. Not a patch on Mario Kart or Diddy Kong Racing, you understand, but fun nonetheless. 6/10

Caesar’s Palace 2000

I’ve only ever been in a Casino once, and that was only because a mate had a trial membership and all the other bars in town were closing. I didn’t actually play any games, you understand. My main focus was the bar, but this experience alone qualifies me to rate Caesar’s Palace 2000. And if the real Caesar’s Palace is even remotely like this game, I pity the fools who shell out a small fortune to go there. Casino Royale, this most certainly ain’t. 

The box gleefully announces that the game boasts “…the largest assortment of heart pounding 3D gambling games ever under one roof!”. Heart pounding? I almost had a fucking heart attack when I discovered this mess masquerading as a Dreamcast game. Put simply, Caesar’s Palace 2000 is a collection of card games, slot machines and roulette wheel games modeled in 3D. There is very little sound or music to speak of, and unless you have more than a passing interest in any of the shit that goes on inside a real casino, you’ll find very little of interest here. I really wanted to see Joe Pesci smash someone’s head in with a whisky glass, but alas it wasn’t to be. The game’s Poor. Very Poor.

See what I did there? (shotgun cocks) 2/10

So there we are! Another mixed bag of bollocks and diamonds. Not literally – that’d be slightly sick. Until next time…

Oh, and with regards to the Manchester derby on Sunday, Father Krishna: My prediction - United 7 City 0 :)