Illuminati

Enough of this emulation of inferior consoles. The PlayStation was a fine console for it's era and some would argue an icon of the nineties. But now it belongs in the bin, so let's move on eh? Oh, and I'm in the process of downloading a Sega Saturn emulator...NOW WE'RE TALKING!!! I can't convey in words my excitment levels...the promise of being able to play NiGHTS on my DC is the only thing currently keeping my life systems active.

Elsewhere...
The lying illuminati controlled puppet reading the BBC Early Evening News (George Alagiah, pictured) has just gleefully announced that inflation has risen 2% for the first time in five months due to the rising prices of games and books. Well it's obvious from that, that George Alagiah doesn't own a Dreamcast because yesterday I picked up Space Channel 5 and Army Men: Sarge's Heroes for under a fiver. If however, George is reading, and does actually own a Dreamcast - don't hesitate to get in touch and all the appropriate corrections will be made.

Being recognised as the campest thing since the Beatles released Penny Lane is no mean feat, but Space Channel 5 manages it with ease. In fact, it's camper that Graham Norton and Julian Clairy doing a duet version of Penny Lane, but the graphics are amazing so I'm prepared to risk the continued ridicule of my housemates for the pleasure. And that dancing...Ooh La La (geddit?! No, I've not turned gay and/or French - it's the name of the super chic future reporter who starts in Space Channel 5, Ulala). To be honest, Space Channel 5 is nowt more than Parappa the Rapper with flash visuals but in contrast to Sarge's Heroes it looks like the best thing since sliced bread.

I could go on to say that Sarge's Heroes tries to be so matcho that it actually goes full circle to usurp Space Channel 5 as the world's campest 'thing,' but it doesn't - it's just plain shite. Here's a snippet of the fun you can have in Sarge's Heroes:
And the tanks dissappear if you get too close to them!! Awesome! Good job it's not that easy in real life to make a tank vanish...master magicial Lance Burton would be out of a job and the Coalition assault on the oil markets - sorry 'terrorists' - in Iraq would be a be a little harder on the taxpayer's pocket. But politics has no place in the Dreamcast Junkyard and is henceforth banished! FOREVER.

7 comments:

gnome said...

Yikes! An "Army Men" game has always been just marginally better than having hot lead poured into ones ar*e.

Diogo said...

I cant believe inflation would happen because of videogames , it just seems too weird to be true !
It might be because of the ultra expensive xbox 360 though , I bet a lot of people took out loans to get one of those and then did some remortaging so they could get some new 360 games for it :P.
More seriously though Im glad you finally got space channel 5 mate I really like it too , music games aalways rule specially if you got the rythm to go with it ;). Im stuck on the last boss and trust me towards the end you will laugh so much :D.

That army game looks seriously dodgy because I never really got the hang of why make games about plastic toy soldiers , it just doesnt sound right !

Have fun with ulalah and it might be camp but its one of those guilty pleasure :)

The GagaMan(n) said...

A Saturn Emulator for the DC? Good luck, they've barely got anywhere with that just yet, and it'll be a long while until they manage to pull it off I reckon.

Why they released a Army Men game for the DC is beyond me, the whole francise is just terrible. Space Channel 5 rocks, though, even if I suck at it XD

The Elderly said...

If only I was as lucky at keeping down the cost of inflation by finding games for under a fiver. Recently spotted PGR3 for the xbox360 selling for €79 (£54) that's obscene. And they wonder why game sales have gone down.

Happy gaming

Tomleecee said...

Elderly: 59 quid isnt obscene...it's fucking insulting!

Andy Sword said...

Hey Dude!

I know nothing of games or consoles, but I like yer caustic humour LOL!

So I'll bookmark ya.

Have a look at my shit, ya might like it.


Andy

Andy Sword said...

LOL! Would help if I included the friggin' link, huh!?

www.peopleandobjects.blogspot.com


A