Gentlemen, SARS your engines...

After a lengthy discussion with one of my housemates (also called Tom), today saw me come to the conclusion that 'The Future' is shit. Point in case - the future has lasers. We have machine guns. You can see a fucking laser blast coming towards you...try dodging a bullet. Quite.
Unless your name is Thomas 'Neo' Anderson (another plug for the name Thomas, by the way), you ain't dodging shit my friend.

So lets look at the facts. The future has lasers, Alien invasion from hostile forces, terrorism, SARS, Bird Flu and Ebola. The future also has PS3, Revolution (smirk) and the 360 (even broader smirk). The past has Robin Hood, the discovery of a large black obelisk by a group of homo-sapiens and the creation of the wrestling move 'The Walls of Jericho.' The past also has the Deamcast and Daytona 2001.

Harnessing the power of the past and the sheer number crunching might of Pythagoras(pictured, yesterday)'s ghost , the Dreamcast Junkyard's continent sized mainframe has devised the following equation, where the past = E, the present = D, the future = R, games = s, originality = A and Peace on Earth = C+AM2-T:

D+R = E - AM2 (A x s) T

So there it is. Maths turns up the funniest things dunnit?!

And here's my review of Daytona USA 2001. Now, where's the fucking 'off' switch...the fan on this mainframe is driving me mad...Above: God Bless Daytona, and all who sail upon her. Amen. Now, where's me Tennent's Super got to...

6 comments:

Ross said...

Nice review. I remember playing it in the arcades a few years ago (or was that Daytona USA 2?). I dont really remember it that well though...

Tomleecee said...

Thanks for the complient Ross. To be honest, I'm a fan of all the Daytona games, but Daytona 2001 is definatley the best.

Diogo said...

Some very nice comparison there mate and I agree with you because I always have more fun playing on my dreamcast /saturn than I do on some of the games I buy for the latest consoles today . :)

I got back to doing resident evil code veronice today in the hopes of getting lucky for a 2nd time and finishing it !

Nice one with daytona havent got it for dreamcast but on the arcades its brilliant and I just noticed thanks for the comment on my blog about my art work really appreciate it :D

Tomleecee said...

Thanks for all your comments guys - its reassuring to know that someone actually reads what i'm writing!

Dr. Dexter said...

Sorry, Mr Cee but the concept of the laser "blast" as sci-fi films present it is something of a myth- the laser is basically elctromagnetic radiation of a high amplitude and thereby travels at the speed of light, much faster than any bullet. However, a lot of development in both this field and that of energy storage cells needs to take place before laser beams emited from portable gun-like devices can cause serious damage very quickly unless you can shoot someone in the pupil of either eye thereby blinding him/her before taking a bullet to the torso yourself.

On a more agreeable note, I have obtained and analysed Tim Henman's DNA from which I have successfully identified the 'utter shit' gene- the very piece DNA code that makes Henman UTTER SHIT.

Next week I would like to talk to you about fusion reactors...

fatherkrishna said...

Wow! WTF! Heavy un-understandable shit! But quite entertaining!