Over the last couple of days, I believe I have discovered a new 'emotion.' It's a sort of warm, fuzzy feeling that captures my whole body and makes me shake all over. I believe hu-mans call it 'love.' Yes, my Dreamcasting friends, I have fallen in love...with VIRTUA TENNIS 2!! Had you going there didn't I?! eh? Well, the joke's on YOU - puny, flawed, carbon-based lifeforms!
Yeah...the joke's on you...*sniff*
But enough of this ridiculous bullshit (see above). You see, my bedroom is quickly becoming a sort of archive of Dreamcast related stuff. I can't even sleep in my bed because one of the lightguns has shacked up with the keyboard in it. Now I sleep under the desk while those two dirty bastards make weird noises and giggle...filthy bastards. But I digress so I'll start again. You see, because I have so many games (56, no less), I find I never have the time to play any of them to any great extent before another one clamours for my attention.
Not so with Virtua Tennis 2.
For this game I would happily climb to the summit of Mount Olympus, olive wreath in hand; toga across my broad metallic shoulders, and wrestle with Zeus the Cloud Gatherer (pictured) in an awesome battle to control time itself - just to create longer periods of 'spare' time in which to play one more match of Virtua Tennis 2.
You see, everything about VT2 is sublime. The animation is freaking amazing! you know in some games where the characters carry out their pre-defined animation and then it sort of stops and then defaults to just standing there? WELL THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN IN VIRTUA TENNIS 2!! Even better, you know how female tennis players let out that orgasmic scream when they hit a particularly hard volley and you just want them to SHUT THE FUCK UP?!?!?! Well, my fine bespectacled chums - that happens too. Quality. And you know how Tim Henman is fucking shit at tennis in real life? Well, yeah - you guessed it.
A bit of advice for Tim just in case he's reading: Tim, you posh twat - fuck off and stop getting the hopes of the nation up every single year at Wimbledon before ruthlessly dashing them and promising to come back next year and win. It aint gonna happen: You can't even win in Virtua Tennis 2, how you gonna win in real friggin' life?!?! Harsh, yes - but Galactic Empire defeatingly fair.
Anyway, I'm just off to make love to...er...'play' Virtua Tennis 2. Just a final thought...wonder what the kids would look like if that lightgun gets the keyboard pregnant...?
Just a final, final thought: look at these two different boxes for the PAL version of VT2 (above). The one on the left is the UK version, whilst the one on the right is...well from where? Spot the difference? The Williams sisters have been airbrushed out - bizarre only because they feature on every other box I can find be it PAL or NTSC (see further below).