Totally Ridiculous Comparisons: No. 1

Seeing as today is my birthday (24 years old no less - and still playing games *tsk*), The Dreamcast Junkyard would like to use this joyous occasion to introduce the first in a new series of review based features: Totally Ridiculous Comparisons. Yes, as the name so cheekily hints at, this involves comparing two games that shouldnt really ever occupy the same sentence - let along be thrown into a 6 ft deep, shite filled pit together and ordered at gun point to scratch each others eyes out, pull each others hair and generally be unkind to each other.

First up:

Ferrari F355 Challenge Versus Star Wars Episode 1: Racer*

*This is mainly because they were bought at the same time (F355 came free with Racer), but I thought it would be fun anyway. So, how do they compare Monsieur?

F355 is a graphical marvel. It looks so realistic it's frightening. I will however refrain from using the phrase 'so realistic you can smell the exhaust fumes,' for fear of being mistaken for a staff writer on an actual magazine. Tracks are gorgeous, cars are lovingly re-created and, well it's just generally lovely. No complaints here.

Racer is a blatant port of the PC/N64 version. While it has a higher frame rate and resolution than the Nintendo variant, it appears to be practically identical to the PC one. This doesn't mean it sucks, but it looks quite basic in comparison to F355. It moves at a fair old pace, though - and the tracks are quite imaginitive and stuffed full of detail. Some pretty dodgy textures in places though.

Winner: F355

Hmm, F355 is a mixed bag really. Has some excellent engine effects - really meaty and powerful sounding - just like a real Ferrari (I'd imagine, never having heard one in real life), BUT THAT MUSIC?! Jesus H. Christ...what is it? It sounds like a rock medly is about to kick in, but then some sort of Radio DJ pops up talking shite. I turned it down just incase one of my house mates heard it and thought I was into White Snake.

Cracking intro music - very rousing. Music on the menu screens is replaced with background noise from the Canteena where the game hub is based. In-game orchestral music is very subtle but seems to build up and get louder just as something good happens...I can't really describe it - maybe it's just coincidence that the music gets louder when you're battling for first place...but it does. Sound effects are top class too.

Winner: Racer

This is horrible. There are so many driving assists it hurts. Granted, you can turn them off if you so wish but that just makes this twat of a game even worse. There is only the one in car view aswell (I know this is due to the 3 screen arcade heritage), which makes it hard to judge the virtual size of the rest of your vehicle and its dimensions on the track. This makes it difficult to hug a right hand turn because the F355 is left hand drive and you can't see where the right side of the car ends. Also: this game is way too hard. Yawn. Next.

Racer is like a polar opposite of F355. It's easy to pick up and play and is actually very enjoyable. Tight controls, excellent track design. No major problems.

Winner: Racer

You'l play F355 maybe 3 times before you realise it is impossible to a) win or b) complete a lap without finishing it in 7th or 8th place. Some stuff to unlock, but it'l be back on the shelf before you realise (or care).

Loads of tracks and vehicles to unlock. Great career mode and lots of upgrades to purchase with your hard won Trugguts. You'll be playing for ages.

Winner: Racer

Overall - F355: 1 Racer: 3

In the immortal words of Alan Sugar (or Donald Trump for our American readers) F355 - You're Fired. Here's your P45...Now get the fuck out of my face.

If you you can stomach reading even more bollocks about these two, check out my reviews of F355 here and Racer here

Next Time: Mr Thomas B. Clancy's Rainbow Six Versus Mr Bruno Bonnell's V-Rally 2! I can't wait...

Now though, I'm off to celebrate getting another year closer to my inevitable coffin by drinking unholy ammounts of beer and taking as many drugs as I can buy with the money from my pawned Dreamcast games. See you all in A & E!


Anonymous said...

hey happy birthday dude , your right comparing both games is really absurd because i own ferrary and played it online too and its just too incredible , as well as hard and realistic as hell!

Glad to see your blog is getting bigger and popular , I bet you can only get better from now on ;).

Keep it up mate because I really enjoy reading all this dreamcast related stuff and hey dot go killing yourself because then no one would write this brilliant blog .

I havent bought a dreamcats game in ages because havent been paid my college money but when i get it all in one lump sum will make sure to do it for old times sake . eh eh
see you around and keep up the wicked work.

Tom Charnock said...

Hey Diogo, thanks man! As you can probably tell, I'm not a fan of F355, Sega can't get everything right...but the Yard will go from strength to strength. Good to have you on board.

Son_et_lumiere said...

Ye, happy birthday dude. Have a go on House of the Dead 3 on me.

Tom Charnock said...

cheers mate, much appreciated!

gnome said...

Happy Birthday and happy weird review-thingy posting day...


Ross said...

Happy birthday!

This is an interesting feature, and I hope you continute it in the future. Nice job dude, and have a good one!

gnome said...

And this is my b/day present:
I know you'll enjoy it...

gnome said...

well it doesn't show well, so:

Just make those 3 lines into one and chk it out

Ross said...

And my gift to you is an updated blog!

I'd send you a custom JSR DC system, but um, shipping would be too much from U.S. to U.K. Yeah, thats it! :-)

Anonymous said...

Mate, sorry I forgot to at least check out the yard on your birthday. And coming in 24 hours late it's... THE LEACH! Anyways, ridiculous comparisons is a great idea because it's both informative and entertaining. I'm considering a rival feature which I may have the cheek to link to one of my future comments in this very blog! But of course you could always get rid of it using your moderating powers. However, I dare you to show the balls required to be rid of the comparitive review of...




Rated X - You must be 21 or over.

In blog comments on 11th March.

A John Woo film.

Tom Charnock said...

Ha ha, thanks for the comments people, much obliged. And that comparison review sounds awesome. Can't wait to read it!!!